What the hell happened here?!

[Neox]

So I've been on these forums for a little over six months now and, I gotta say, I'm pretty fucking disappointed with what I've seen.

At first I thought it was pretty cool.  A board full of people within my province and neighbouring areas who come together to discuss local topics, set-up meetings and hangouts, get to know each other and all-around feel less alone in our little corner of the furry-community.  Hell yeah.  This looks like an awesome place for me.  And it did start-off pretty nicely.  I met some really nice people here, made some new friends in neighbouring cities that I grew fond of and hang out with all the time now, found some discussion topics that were genuinely good-natured and witnessed a lot of fellow furs/dragons helping each other out.

Then I decided to try and offer some advice here and there to people that were complaining about life or legitimately asking for advice, and I got met with a little bit of defensive ire at some of my words.  No problem, I understand that some people can't take advice and they are personally insulted by it.  I can deal with that.  I usually just leave the person alone from that point forward.  But then I start getting people openly insulting me and knocking me for being an arrogant, inconsiderate asshole... and THEN I got a shit-load of "senior members" jumping in to defend the little pricks because... I dunno... they don't like me?  Because I'm the new guy on the block?  Because I try to find honest solutions to problems instead of sympathizing and blubbering with the person who posted the thread to simply whine about shit?

I'm all for posting threads to rant and vent and scream your head off at nobody in particular.  Hell, I'm doing it right now!  I know there are a lot of younger furs here and teen-angst is something that can't be avoided.  Everyone went through their angst phase, even me.  Sometimes it's good to get something off your chest and just flap your jaw about it, but every time I see it happen here, there's always some snob jumping in the first post to say, "Why the hell are you whining?  Grow up and get over it, you snot-nozed little brat."  Well fuck you, buddy; who the hell are you to tell me I can't express myself?

Well... I know a few reasons why people do it, even if they don't know it themselves.  The first reason is that this place is still a high-school.  I thought a little BC furs board would be a nice seclusion from the drama-loving furry community but hell, I get less drama on Fur Affinity.  Everyone here wants to be the shit.  Every "senior" member of the community likes to think they're some big-shot because they've been around for x years.  They like to think they have some level of authority over the younger furs and that they can guide and mentor them by being an arrogant fuck to everyone else.

The other reason is that it's because this is the INTERNET.  I can't reach through the monitor and slap you for being an idiot, so you're free to wear holes in your keyboard freaking out at me.  Being able to type your thoughts out is empowering.  You can type out everything that's on your head without anyone interrupting you to tell you you're off-track, that you have no idea what you're talking about.  You feel so much better about yourself the more you type because nobody is actively debating with you, and by the time you're finished typing, you solidly believe in all the bullshit you just wrote, so when someone comes along to argue their points against you, it doesn't matter... what you said is right, right?  Nothing can flip it around on you because you are your own god on the internet.  I can tell you that a good 80% of you would be scared shitless to say any of the garbage you say online in a real-life encounter.  I've been around the community long enough and been to enough furry meets and conventions to know that more than half the people that like to wave their arms around and scream online shrink away with their tail between their legs when I meet them in person.  Not because I actively intimidate them, but because that's just the kind of pathetic individual they are.  There are a lot of people here I doubt would be any different.

Now, I know there is no perfect place where only intelligent people are allowed to exist.  But I thought, at the very least, that this place would be more mature than a fucking daycare.  I'm actually amazed that I haven't witnessed any of the mods getting personally involved in some of the bullshit conversations I've seen here and start banning people just because they don't like them; at least there is some level of professionalism on this board.

Heh.  I know as soon as I post this, there are going to be several people just foaming at the mouth... their fingers just hammering their poor keyboards to ream me out.  Bring it.  I wanna see how many of you immediately exemplify everything I just wrote.  Hell, I wouldn't even be surprised if this thread got wiped.  Fuck it.  I just felt like ranting. (8<

[EmoFox]

Ok, i'll bite. i'll take the bait.

so, having a shy personality, in RL, is considered pathetic now? That's hardly a fair judgement. as an RL shy person, i'm offended by that. Yeah, maybe I wouldn't say a lot of the things I say on the boards to people in person. I don't think you'd have the balls to say that kind of shit to people in person either. But a lot of that is also the fact that when I hang out with furs, I'm trying to have a good time, not discuss some bullshit little rant on the board. I mean, big deal, some one decided to let loose and just freak out (and now I have that bad 80s/90s, whatever song stuck in my head. "Whooooaaaa FREAK OUT!"). Chances are, if I ever met you in person, I wouldn't bring this up, because what's the point? it's in the past, and really who cares? Who gives a rats ass about some random little insulting and generalizing rant you posted on the internet? Yeah, I'm offended right off the bat, but as you already pointed out, people are different on the internet because there is that sense of anonymity. I might think you're an ass on the internet and then meet you at a fur meet and decide that in person you're alright, or really cool or whatever.

Not to mention that by posting this thread you fed the drama. You even admit as much at the end of your post, which alone makes you hypocritical by calling everyone else immature, and then posting an immature ranty post just to prove it. People will either react with blind rage, as you're expecting them to, troll you, ignore it, or just say "fuck it" and contribute to your ranty trolly ways for the hell of it (case in point, me).

Also, aren't a lot of the "senior" members, and mods and whatnot in their 20s? Cuz that's really so much better than being an angsty teen. Now you're just a stressed angsty teen, with access to alcohol, and something a little more legitimate to angst about than who's taking who to prom. Yes myself included! except for the access to alcohol part... ;.;

...Stop taking life so seriously. no one gets out alive, jeez.

[Neox]

so, having a shy personality, in RL, is considered pathetic now?

No.  Having a shy personality in RL and pretending to be something you're not online and deceiving others into believing you are a totally different person is pathetic.  Be the same person online as you are offline (or vise-versa) and I won't have a problem with it, whether you're mouthy, shy, bubbly, flamboyant, whatever.

See, this is what happens.  People attempt to read too far into what I say.  I leave openings in my words for people to insert things that I never said and they pretend that I DID say them so they can fuel themselves on a hate-campaign.  It's hilarious and sad at the same time.  You might not think I have the balls to repeat the things I'm saying in person but that's because you've never met me in person.  I'm not going to try and defend myself against that accusation because there's no way I can prove it to you at this moment, and why would I care what people who don't know me think of me anyway?  I know full-well that I've completely blacklisted myself on these forums by posting this thread, so it's not like I give a shit anyway.

Not to mention that by posting this thread you fed the drama.

You bet your ass I did.  Only difference is that it wasn't my intention to do so, even though I knew it would.  It was my intention to highlight the issue that is some of the people here need to keep their hurtful opinions to themselves sometimes rather than flip-out on people who are simply making a statement and hoping for some positive encouragement or constructive criticism.  If I really wanted to intentionally feed drama, I would have listed-off several peoples' names that I have witnessed taking-part in these activities on these forums.  Oh boy, would there have ever been a big stink about that!  But no... I'm not the kind of guy who would publicly accuse someone.  If I really had a problem with a certain individual, I would rather talk to them one-on-one.

And your comment on age-range is altogether irrelevant.  I've met 18-year-olds more mature than myself and 50-year-olds who whine and bitch like babies to make a fuss and piss people off.  Sometimes the age-filters apply; but in this case, I believe it does not.

I can do what I want with my life as long as it falls within lawful boundaries.  I choose to create debates like this to allow people to analyze the issue and possibly learn something from it.  The haters are the ones who only see me waving my arms and swearing, and that's fine by me; I do not want to associate with them anyway.  When people like you can intelligently point-out your side of the debate, I can respect your opinions and choose whether or not to acknowledge or deny them.  When others decide they want to try and smack me down and call me names, I can decide that I don't give two shits about them and I will remove them from my mind.

Thank you for providing legitimate views to debate my own instead of simply insulting me.  It was not my intention to insult anyone in particular, though I know that people were bound to be offended by my opinions and I'm willing to accept the fallout.

[Kithop]

Honestly, I try to avoid the threads/boards asking for that kind of help, because, well - that's what happens. It's harsh, I know, but I'm not going to feed that kind of drama (ESPECIALLY if it's relationship-related. Ugh. x.x).  That said, I have no problem offering my advice, insight, or even a shoulder to cry on for the friends that I've met on here or otherwise.  But only my friends. ;)

The boards are awesome to skim through and see who you really wouldn't mind hanging out with, and who you should learn to avoid.  Plan events, show off your art and writing and music (but beware of trolling 'criticisms' just like on FA).  But there are definitely people with issues on here and elsewhere, and that's life, I guess. *shrug*  I try not to let it get to me, and instead like to rant about stupid technology things and stuff. XD

[Ember]

Now I know that this was not a main point of your post, but I'd like to make a comment on this:

No.  Having a shy personality in RL and pretending to be something you're not online and deceiving others into believing you are a totally different person is pathetic.  Be the same person online as you are offline (or vise-versa) and I won't have a problem with it,.

To many furries, a character represents a different person that they play out as escapist fun. The whole point of having a character or two is that they get to play out a side of life that they normally do not. To these people, if their character was exactly the same as their real life personality, then there would be no point at all to what they were doing.

[EmoFox]

Ember has a point.

Being shy (for me anyway) isn't a permanent thing. The person I am online is the person most of my friends know me as. But in large groups or when just meeting some one for the first time, I'm incredibly shy. I wouldn't say this kind of stuff at a fur meet in person because you're right, I don't know you. I don't know what you're going to be offended by, and I don't want to offend people in a face-to-face environment because I don't know how they'll react. I'm safe on the internet in the fact that if I say something some one doesn't like, the worst they can do is troll me. If I say something wrong in person, and that person just so happens to have an anger problem or something, I could end up in the hospital, which is not a fun experience. It's risk assessment. I can be my mouthy, stubborn, opinionated self on the internets because you can't break my legs for doing so.

Also, you contradict yourself. The last paragraph of your first post suggests that you had at least the slightest intention of causing drama to laugh at people.

[Xen Garden]

Sorry to burst your bubble Ember but my characters have the same personality as my own.

And Naetholix if you think the boards were great 6 months ago? They were way better a year or a couple years ago. When there were monthly fur meets and everyone got along better than they do now.

Also as for the being shy IRL and being social on the internet. Look at 4chan. Most of the people posting crap on there are probably people who are shy losers in real life. It's a normal thing on today's internet. People can say and do as they please. Trolling is no different. And sorry to say but I am also shy in person.I don't even post on here much but I still make contributions to this site because what's the point of being a member if I didn't?

And as for the advice thing, yeah I know people throw a big stink about it. Look at my thread where I stood up for the females. Many people bawww'd over it because they didn't like what I had to say, or what other peoples feedbacks were. It's very normal on a board like this.

And you won't find no drama or less drama anywhere. Wherever you go there will be drama. Maybe not the same kind, but there will ALWAYS be drama.

Also saying you're not trying to cause drama and then say BRING IT at the end of your post is contradicting don't you think? It's just ENCOURAGING people to start drama.

The only way you can lower the drama is to not post threads like these. It is obvious that you were trying to start drama on purpose.

I am not a mean person nor am I trying to start a fight with you. I am just saying things the way they are.

[Ember]

Sorry to burst your bubble Ember but my characters have the same personality as my own.

I was speaking in generalities, dummy :p

One person not fitting the case doesn't at all discredit it. 

[Sikkab]

Troll disguised as internet tough-guy = 1
BCFurries = -482

[Zythren]

As long as you're not generalizing everyone on this board by what you've seen from a few, then I'm okay with what's being said here.

I agree with Wrath though that this board was better a year or two ago when there weren't many people here. Now it's too many people with different views on everything. It's basically why I don't post here much anymore. Pretty much anything you post that someone doesn't like will immediately become a frustrating, passive-aggressive, battle of wits.

[mediar]

/nerd drama rage

[Renwaldo]

Without a specific instance in mind, there is not much I can say about this. . .  ???

I find that for me, as long as I ignore all drama and those keen on starting it, it doesn't exist.

[Tony Greyfox]

As long as you're not generalizing everyone on this board by what you've seen from a few, then I'm okay with what's being said here.

I agree with Wrath though that this board was better a year or two ago when there weren't many people here. Now it's too many people with different views on everything. It's basically why I don't post here much anymore. Pretty much anything you post that someone doesn't like will immediately become a frustrating, passive-aggressive, battle of wits.

A collection of people who might have differing views on things from you is called a "community." That's kind of how they work.

Diversity is not a bad thing, from my viewpoint.

[Zetta]

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


Also i'd like to say that there's nothing stopping us from making BCF as good as it was X years ago again.
People need to cheer up.
or do what i did and meditate for a while, it worked for me and I'm much happier.
Also, pessimism does not an excuse make to my post

[Neox]

Ember: I understand where you're coming from and I'd like to say that you have a point, but consider this:  When people are whining and bitching at me for things that I say on the internet, they are not whining and bitching as their characters.  Think of it like, when you hear someone talking about another person behind his/her back.  The person ranting will go on and on about how much they hate so-and-so and how he'd love "show him/her a thing or two," but when that person actually shows up, the ranter shuts its mouth tighter than a nun's vagina.  It's pretty much the same thing, and I think that it's pathetic.

And I love how everyone is pointing their fingers at me and calling me a hypocrite.  Who gives a shit whether or not I intentionally stirred the pot so in order to cause those who would take the bait to rise to the surface?  It worked, didn't it?  I now can watch as people spring forth to say something witty and abrasive in a childish demeanour, in-turn only labelling themselves as someone I need not waste my time talking to.  And the best part is the fact that whether or not I did intentionally attempt to cause a ruckus is completely irrelevant!  Whether or not I purposefully said words that I knew would glean a negative, dramatic response from people has absolutely no bearing on the fact that those who ARE responding as such would have done it anyway, regardless the tone I left on.  Everyone is so quick to look at the guy on his soap-box and start calling him a lunatic even if the things he is shouting about are right.

Oh hell yeah, I'm an asshole.  Oh hell yeah, I'm being a big, fat meanie.  Whatever.  I already know that most of you think I'm a hypocrite loudmouth piece of shit and I really don't give a fuck.  Everyone is sitting here trying to psycho-analyze ME instead of actually reading-into what I wrote and it's sad.  If you want someone to point fingers at and bitch about, so be it.  I'll gladly be that guy.  Every community needs one, don't they?