The "Furry" Generalization

Neox · August 22, 2012, 06:35:30 AM

This is a branch off of a conversation in another thread, which I decided would be too far off-topic to discuss in that thread. None of the words hereafter are directed at anybody; they are simply the musings of a tired dragon who decided beer and internet were better than food and sleep after getting home from work at 3:30 in the morning. x.=.x

How many people recognize the terms, "Furry Drama," "Fur House," and in the case of the discussion this branched from, "Deadbeat Furries?"

From my observations over many years of having been a furry, I see that a good portion of us live in this dream wherein all furries are equally cool and interesting just because they are furry. A lot of us want to believe that this guy over here should act and behave as I do because he's a furry, just like me. Not many furs look at the community for what it is: a really fucking big conglomerate of people, all with different beliefs, interests, and ideas on how to act and behave. You put one furry in a room with another furry, the chance that they will get along with each other is just as great as the chance that they might be at each others' throats or sit in an awkward silence. This would not differ at all if you were to do the same with two non-furry people. The "furry" title is only skin-deep. It does not encompass all that we are as a person.

This misconception breeds a lot of frustration when events and gatherings are held, where many of us are quite happy and willing to go out of our own way to either host events, contribute to events, or even giving rides to people who would not otherwise be able to attend for lack of adequate transportation. Some people expect that a furry party is going to go down famously because everyone is there under one unifying banner. They forget that all this party is, is a gathering of individuals whose only common trait is this sharing of furry identities. A few of them might be deadbeats, but are easy to get along with. A few of them might be quite successful in life, but their demeanour is that of a pretentious snob that nobody can bear. The fact is: we cannot simply expect everyone to be responsible and share common sense; we must regard our furry cohorts as regular people who vary in degrees of likeability and usefulness.

Which brings me around to the whole "furry drama" thing. I know people LOVE to go off about "furry drama." What makes drama furry? The fact that it's between two people who happen to be furries? What if two Klingons started bitching at each other, would we call it "Trekkie Drama?" When two furries go at it--one of them a dragon, the other a crocodile--do we call it "Scaly Furry Drama?" Samsung's Galaxy tablet is shaped too rectangular for Apple's liking; that's "Patented Drama."

Drama is drama, guys. When two people have it out for each other, it's just drama. Being furry doesn't make it furry drama. When an artist traces furry art of another artist and calls it their own, that's not furry drama. Other artists have done this with non-furry artwork in the past; being furry doesn't make it any more special.

If you want to AVOID "furry" drama, then stop generalizing the furry community. Start understanding that we are all individuals, and need to be treated as such. If someone in our community starts ruffling your feathers, deal with it like you'd deal with any other person. Don't go thinking that people deserve special treatment just because they call themselves a furry, as do you.

Drake Wingfire · August 22, 2012, 09:49:14 AM

It is true that in the end we are all individuals with different beliefs, for some furries its a hobby, others its a big part of their identity, and for others their connection to a species has more deeper spiritual roots even. Furries come in many different shades like you said. But the only point I really wanted to add was the fact that not just any deadbeat or mundane can truly be a furry (new before people read into that line as elitism let me explain)

To be an active furry who is actually out there still requires someone to have something of an open mind and at least a few typical personality traits. Not many people can just wake up one morning and go "im gonna be a wolf today" so its easy to see how many furs can assume something of at least a somewhat better than the average person personality of someone who identifies as a fur. (but yeah it can be a false sense of security with some) But as for deadbeat types, it is sad as I have seen way WAY too many of them in the last generation of furs I hung around with (and guess what, none of them are even in the fandom anymore). just furs who took advantage of the same shit people are doing today with meets and rides. people know how giving the fandom can be.. and if they were raised by your typical "business" minded family then there is a good chance they have a "take what ever you can" mentality drilled into them and the only real cure for that is to not even deal with them and not feed that attitude.

All of this is why events and larger organized rides have now gone pre-reg and its effectiveness really shows, this years FurBQ was totally pre-reg none of that "no worries man I can pay you at the door bro" crap, and you know what, the event has gone the most perfect I have ever seen the FurBQ go. I was around for the very first FurBQ events back in 06 and 07 and while they went good, they were still somewhat spoiled by the tag alongs who abused the kindness of others and pretty much pulled a dine-n-dash. Best example was a guy I knew who rented a 7 seater van so he could take a bunch of us islanders, notion was that if we each chipped in for the cost of the van, ferry and fuel then it would be much cheaper than if we all tried to grey hound our way there.. He managed to fill the van fast.. but you know what.. only three of us ever gave him the full amount he needed. The rest made empty promises or gave the guy like pocket change.. The guy regrettably came up about $400 short on the bill that he had to shell straight from his own pocket. In other words, pre-reg is the only way to go these days to reduce the scumbag levels because trying to talk to deadbeats only gets you more shallow empty words.

Silvermink · August 22, 2012, 10:16:36 AM

I think people who talk about "furry drama" must never have been part of any other geek group. I'd be surprised if leeches aren't just as prevalent in many other subcultures, too.

Renwaldo · August 22, 2012, 11:06:25 AM

I love you. <3

Especially the bit about furry drama. I've been trying to explain the whole drama thing ever since I first joined.

Your post touched me. < : 3

Sasha · August 22, 2012, 12:37:50 PM

Neox had read my mind and put down as I had tried to in the other thread..

Tiger.

Temrin · August 22, 2012, 01:10:41 PM

*Claps FURIOUSLY* Thank you NEOX!

Amazingly said, and i commend you for saying things i've been trying to tell people for a long time now. (Sure, i use the term furry drama because its amusing to me and those i talk to. But we all understand that its just drama. Drama is everywhere. When we say furry drama its kinda poking fun at the community lol. )

Neox · August 22, 2012, 03:03:03 PM

Quote from: Silvermink on August 22, 2012, 10:16:36 AM
I think people who talk about "furry drama" must never have been part of any other geek group. I'd be surprised if leeches aren't just as prevalent in many other subcultures, too.

Not even just a geek group, but ANY group. I've dealt with drama at the workplace just as much, if not more, than I've dealt with drama amongst my furry friends. Don't even get me started on high-school drama. I wonder if the KKK have their own drama? =P

Quote from: Renwaldo on August 22, 2012, 11:06:25 AM
I love you. <3

Especially the bit about furry drama. I've been trying to explain the whole drama thing ever since I first joined.

Your post touched me. < : 3

BAD TOUCH. BAD TOUCH. BAD TOUCH!!!

Silvermink · August 22, 2012, 07:51:04 PM

Quote from: Neox on August 22, 2012, 03:03:03 PM
Not even just a geek group, but ANY group. I've dealt with drama at the workplace just as much, if not more, than I've dealt with drama amongst my furry friends. Don't even get me started on high-school drama. I wonder if the KKK have their own drama? =P

I think it's a little bit more prevalent in geek groups just due to what happens when you gather together a bunch of people who aren't 100% astute socially, but point taken.

The Geek Social Fallacies don't help, either.

Sevrin · August 22, 2012, 09:16:38 PM

Something you didn't really include though neox, people who are furries often are predisposed to being so due to certain life events and/or personality types, for examples christians are less common among furries because many christians believe that being furry would conflict with their beliefs. Because of this, one could presume that it is indeed possible there is more drama among furries, or more deadbeats or whatever label you want to put on a particular person than if you generalized all people throughout the region, there really isn't any way to prove either way, unless you could somehow do an accurate survey of all furries.
I do however agree with the whole furries are not furries they are people thing, thinking otherwise could in fact be what causes the extra drama, assuming there is some.
Something to be considered though, is while this is all true, it should not discourage one from having large furry gatherings and trying to be furiends with other furs! The awesome thing about being furry is that its an excuse to gather with people you've never met and make new furiends! and its much more effective at doing so than, say, talking to a random person on the bus, and also provides a much larger number of people to interact with than something like a workplace, FURthermore; it provides a great platform for building a romantic relationship, because you are meeting people as furiends and building relationships from there (which is why dating sites suck, because the intent for romance is immediately displayed, and feelings are kind of forced instead of developed naturally) and you also already have something in common! to summarize:Don't assume that you will immediately be furiends with anyone else who is furry, but also don't let that dissuade you from trying!

its funny looking at that GSF page reminded me of various things I remember thinking in the past, several of which when I was like 15 but (for most of them) realized how stupid and impractical that belief is.

Temrin · August 22, 2012, 09:54:00 PM

(just wanted to point out Sevrin, that i see an absolute TON of christian furries around. I was also raised christian :P Just because of something you were raised in, or your family still is, a lot of the time, wont stop a person from being furry. Just like a lot of family related things wont stop people from coming out as liking the same sex.)

Sevrin · August 22, 2012, 10:12:28 PM

really? that's weird, cause I've only ever, out of the hundreds of furs I've seen, seen one christian furry. (well only seen one that stated they were christian, at least) maybe I just don't ask enough questions O.o

Temrin · August 22, 2012, 10:23:55 PM

Some of them dont say their religion. Just like some dont say their orientation either. But it doesnt mean they arent there :3
Some people separate furry from their home life. So it makes sense.

But i've known and seen many who openly say they are christian. ^^

-sorry for slightly off topic-

Fazar · August 22, 2012, 10:34:30 PM

I could be going insane, but I think I made this statement, or something similar in the great diversity with Furries, and despite how people like to think we're different than the 'norm' we're not really aside from this broad umbrella of "anthro animals".

Like I have mentioned before, I more often then not don't get along with most furries. Nothing to relate to, mannerisms don't clash, or any number of other issues. Granted I think I struggle IRL to maintain friends with the whole 'travel' thing coming into play.

Renwaldo · August 22, 2012, 11:07:33 PM

Quote from: Neox on August 22, 2012, 03:03:03 PM
Not even just a geek group, but ANY group. I've dealt with drama at the workplace just as much, if not more, than I've dealt with drama amongst my furry friends. Don't even get me started on high-school drama. I wonder if the KKK have their own drama? =P

BAD TOUCH. BAD TOUCH. BAD TOUCH!!!

You filthy lizard fucker, you know that's not what I meant. ; )

Elias.Ringtail · August 23, 2012, 01:39:08 AM

Quote from: Temrin on August 22, 2012, 09:54:00 PM
(just wanted to point out Sevrin, that i see an absolute TON of christian furries around. I was also raised christian :P Just because of something you were raised in, or your family still is, a lot of the time, wont stop a person from being furry. Just like a lot of family related things wont stop people from coming out as liking the same sex.)

^ truth.