I hate myself for not being any where NEAR good at math.

[Samurai Kai]

I just have to write this somewhere because I am just crying my eyes out right now and I need to vent, I need someone to know...

Okay so all my life I guess I've struggled to do math. There are report cards that talk about me struggling to do math around 4-5th grade even, and eventually I left that school because I felt like they weren't even helping me. One teacher with 22 kids, I can't really blame them but when it came to helping me they never could do anything or say anything and that just made it hurt worse. Anyway. I left and joined a private school and their methods of teaching helped me in a way that kept the information they taught me inside my head. Well... I messed that all up. One day I just got stressed because I thought avoiding my problems would do me any good, so I stopped going. I stopped going for an entire year once, and forgot the things I wish I stuck to. A couple years back once I started going again and I went to an alternative school where you could do your own thing, choose your work, take it home if you really wanted to do it that way. It was all about getting back into regular school again. So anyway, a while after I started going a lady came to see where my IQ would stand with various tests and she labeled me with a learning disability afterwards, especially with math. I was so mad at myself, and at her too but that was her job so I can't really be mad at her. I think the reason why I even have this "disability" is because of the year that I missed doing absolutely nothing. I would do anything to get that time back but I know I can't. I just want to know what I should do. I want to improve with math but I am so freakin' far behind (I stopped going in Grade 7) and I'm in year 11 or so. I feel like I haven't done much of anything and they just moved me up along. I should have been graduating next year with everyone else but I'm not. I just don't know what I should do, how to improve not look like such an idiot... I just feel like I've never been properly taught and people just assume me to know everything. Sometimes people tease me with math questions that take me a bit of time to answer and they sometimes laugh at me and call me stupid. One person said there's barely any hope for me, and asked how will I survive in the real world... the truth is I don't even know. I need guidance...

[TimePages]

Oh wow, that was a long block of text haha ^^"
Anyways first off, you shouldn't be mad at yourself if you have a learning disability, there's nothing to do about it either than learning to adapt to it instead of just doing nothing, right?
Second of all... That's kind of.. Super horrible that people tease you about that sort of thing... You should try to tell them you don't like that and if they say it's just a joke, say it still bothers you regardless and you'll start to avoid them if they keep it up.

I know how you feel in regards the whole title thing though, for a solid year of my life I was depressed for people calling me an idiot and eventually I ended up believing it... And I still kind of do honestly.. It was especially deepened when I failed grade 9 science because of the teacher not properly teaching. It took a whole crying scenario to finally get them to realize how much it bothered me.. But then eventually I kind of got this mindset of proving them wrong and 3 years later I'm doing better than majority of my "friends" back then.

Anyways it's never too late to start learning again! Or at least put some practice in, right? Start where you need to start and put the time in to properly learn back what you need. Because that option is certainly better than doing nothing, right?
Last of all, don't think you're an idiot! Because you're honestly not >^> ultimately having that type of mindset is what brings you down the most, AND this is actually true! Some psychologists tested this out and having a positive attitude about work generally gets you better marks!
And I'm not saying that crying over it is bad either... Just make sure to pick yourself right back up at some point right? Staying in that mindset just certainly isn't healthy for development

[Samurai Kai]

Oh wow, that was a long block of text haha ^^"
Anyways first off, you shouldn't be mad at yourself if you have a learning disability, there's nothing to do about it either than learning to adapt to it instead of just doing nothing, right?
Second of all... That's kind of.. Super horrible that people tease you about that sort of thing... You should try to tell them you don't like that and if they say it's just a joke, say it still bothers you regardless and you'll start to avoid them if they keep it up.

I know how you feel in regards the whole title thing though, for a solid year of my life I was depressed for people calling me an idiot and eventually I ended up believing it... And I still kind of do honestly.. It was especially deepened when I failed grade 9 science because of the teacher not properly teaching. It took a whole crying scenario to finally get them to realize how much it bothered me.. But then eventually I kind of got this mindset of proving them wrong and 3 years later I'm doing better than majority of my "friends" back then.

Anyways it's never too late to start learning again! Or at least put some practice in, right? Start where you need to start and put the time in to properly learn back what you need. Because that option is certainly better than doing nothing, right?
Last of all, don't think you're an idiot! Because you're honestly not >^> ultimately having that type of mindset is what brings you down the most, AND this is actually true! Some psychologists tested this out and having a positive attitude about work generally gets you better marks!
And I'm not saying that crying over it is bad either... Just make sure to pick yourself right back up at some point right? Staying in that mindset just certainly isn't healthy for development

You are exactly right TimePages. I think it is more of a learning gap than a learning disability though. I've never heard of a learning gap, my sister mentioned it in a conversation we had. It made me realize so much hell I even researched the word to know what it meant exactly. It matches my situation well so I think that is what it is, and why they got it confused with a learning disability. I was being slow with the questions they were asking me and they must have assumed I struggled because I didn't know how to comprehend the information, when in fact I just wasn't taught at all the things they taught me, or I forgot most of it because I dropped out for the time.


Thank you for your words though, TimePages. It means a lot, and to know someone cares and has been on the same boat. I'm making my own road now, and going back to a normal school! A high school, to finish off my years at least! :D  :hug: