Why the need for a Fursona?

[Grey]

So I ran into an interesting conundrum that I've been mulling over for the last few weeks.

I went to Sushi Tuesday on December 18th and it was great. I met a lot of nice people and had some good conversation but to be honest it was kind of awkward, not because of the social situation but because I quickly realized that I didn't know how to introduce myself to anyone. This was terribly odd for me because I have never been one who has had trouble introducing myself to new people, I'm quite social and rather involved with student politics at my Uni, meeting and introducing myself to new people is kind of a vital part of what I do. But there was an element to this IRL furry interaction stuff that I had not quite considered going into Sushi Tuesday and that was the "Fursona."

To explain myself better, I arrived early and met a handful of people who were already there and was fully confident as I sat down introducing myself as follows:
New Person [NP]: "Hi, glad you could make it out, I'm [insert name of NP I'm meeting], but you can call me [pet-name], and you are?"
Me: "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Darren." :D
NP: "Hey, so what's your furry name?"
Me: "Uhh... what?"  :)
NP: "Do you have a furry name?"
Me: "Oh, uh... no?" ???
NP: "Ah you don't have a fursona yet then?"
Me: "Uh... No... Haven't really thought about it at all actually." ???
NP: "Well you're new, you'll figure it out eventually."
Me "......... okaaaay?"  :-\

I was totally taken off guard by this initial encounter. It suddenly felt very taboo to use my real name here, I'm sure I could have just introduced myself as Darren and people would have been fine, but it didn't feel right anymore. Hell it even feels taboo writing my real name here on the forums as I type this right now, like I'm sharing a private secret publicly that you should only share with close friends or something. Anyways, back to Sushi Night, as a result of this I probably came off as very socially awkward trying to meet people and being all like "Hey.. I'm... unkown/newguy/freshmeat? Sorry, don't have a name yet..." (awkward silence o___o;). I instantly felt like it was my first day at high school again, new social group, new people, not really sure how to introduce myself, really concerned about my first impressions with people and kind of terrified of breaking unspoken codes of social etiquette and looking like an idiot.

Not having a fursona was definitely feeling like a social nono here amongst my fellow furries and I felt like such an awkward noob. Which like I said was very odd for me because I'm almost 25 and I've been a furry for about 12+ years now (more if you include my pre-internet exposure imaginings), though to be honest I was a closet furry up until about two years ago as a result of an unfortunate social incident in middle school and I still didn't feel comfortable enough to get involved in the community till now. During my closet phase I would vehemently deny that I was a furry or had anything to do with furries to anyone who questioned me while secretly lurking on furry websites (defensive phrases such as "well yeah I'm kinda weird with the whole wolf thing but I'm not one of those people!" were used often). It took a couple good friends of mine to point out the obvious to me and help me accept this side of myself without shame, embarrassment, or subsequent depression before I was comfortable taking on this label of "furry" again and reaching out to people in the community here.

So as a result of my particular journey I've never developed a fursona to personify my wolfyness. I never felt I needed one, it had never really even occurred to me as something that needed to be created till Sushi Tuesday. Being wolfish is just a part of who I am and how I see myself, it has always felt like a natural part of my identity and to personify it through a fursona, through a separate identity from my own, seems unnatural and disconnecting in a way but exciting and creative in others.

Now that is not to say that I have not created characters that have personified this part of myself in some way. I am an avid table top RPGer and every character I've ever played has had some wolfyness aspect to it in one way or another, but I have never created a persona/character/fursona to represent my actual personal self to other people. I tried adopting the name and character of these RP creations of mine but none of them felt right, they didn't feel true and their names all left my lips hollow and lifeless. They each only represent a partial aspect of who I am not the whole of my identity and it took some deliberation before I finally settled on a fursona and name that had significance to me, to my identity as a whole. The process was frustrating at first but the more I worked through it the more excited I became at the thought of this new personification of my identity that is to be recognized by my fellow furs. I found there was a certain kind of power (even if only symbolic) in giving this part of myself a name and actively taking control of shaping my identity in this way.

Sitting on the sidelines lurking in the shadows of the fandom all these years I have failed to grasp the apparent significance of having a fursona to represent this part of who I am to others, which upon further reflection since Dec 18th I find plays a very obvious and significant role in how people present themselves and interact with the furry community. Now granted not everyone will have the same personal connection to their fursona as I do so this conundrum might come across as rather pointless and/or confusing to some. Not everyone feels like their [insert non-human creature]ness is such an integral part of their identity and who they are as a person. For many I'm guessing their fursona (or fursonas) are just characters without much further significance to them than my RP characters are to me but everyone in the fandom seems to have at least one fursona all the same.

So I'm genuinely curious to know if other people have felt the same way or have had a similar experience? What kind of significance does your fursona have to you if any at all? Is it just a character to you or a genuine representation of how you see your self or a part of who you are? Why do you think we create fursonas? Is it because of the anonymity it affords us? Does it act as an insulator from our real lives, a way of keeping distance between a taboo interest and our self as seen by others? Is it the power of control it gives us over shaping our identity? Let us discuss!

[Sevrin]

Oh you, you were new guy weren't you? :3 I dunno I got a good impression from you, was a bit weird not having something to call you but new guy worked and was entertaining xD

There is no requirement to being furry and nobody is going to tell you that you aren't furry (well ok maybe some might, but that's not really how being furry works so they can stfu) if you don't want or feel the need for a fursona or a furry name you don't need one.

The way I see fursonas is as a personification of an animal that has a special significance to you or that you feel you relate to in some way, plus some unique thing(s) that show aspects of yourself.
My fursona is a Kodkod because I love cats and I feel that a forest cat suits my personality and fits with my interests and the way I live/have lived my life. I chose a Kodkod specifically because of how I was when I adopted it as my fursona, how I viewed myself, and what I felt I wanted to be. I chose the color red for my fursona because even though I really like pink, cyan, and green; I felt that red was the most suitable for my fursona and was strangely drawn to it. I chose for my fursona to be aligned with fire because I tend to be very passionate about things and then burn out and lose interest very quickly, or burn too brightly and end up burning myself because I wasn't able to pace myself. Everything else is just for flavor :3

There are many reasons people use their furry name over their real name, but there is nothing wrong with using your real name, in fact quite often when people get better acquainted they start using a persons given name instead of their fur name.
When I took on my fur name I was also making a lot of changes in my life, so I prefer to be called by my fur name and don't openly give my real name (though I don't try that hard to hide it either) because my given name is associated heavily to me with how I used to be, so I use the name Sevrin to remind me of who I am and who I want to be.

Furry is what you make of it, don't let anyone dictate what it is to you.

Oh and one more thing: Don't think there's any rush to make a fursona, or that once you do it's set in stone, people change their fursonas all the time to better suit them and their lives, just do what seems right.
When you DO put together a coherent fursona though, you should draw, request, or commission an icon of it! (last I heard zenia was doing $5 commissions) it's nice to have a picture of your fursona that you can use for forums and FA and whatnot!

[Sasha]

Maybe it just sounds more comfortable, not having a human name attached, creating an illusion. I've no fursona (at least as far as one can tell), not even a nickname, I am just kin with tigers. It took me some hard attempts to realise I can meet with the community and be myself without an image or anything attached at first.

I was called "Tiger" by the first fur I met. I hadn't thought of actually using my nickname in speaking, but it seemed to be what people naturally started to call me - it fits.

You might find a nickname to associate yourself with. Not everyone has them. Some are not furry related. It just seems to fit the theme.

Tigerface.

[Peli]

I have Rue the dog as my fursona, but I never actually introduce myself as Rue to other furries. x3 It's all just personal preference really.

[Kitten]

I have always gone by my real name. There are very few people that call me "kitten"

Really it's all personal preference. As an example My friend (we will call him J for now) is not a furry and attends the occasional event and others have no issue calling him by his name and rarely ask about his fursonna. He is just J and he is another person attending whatever event that it may be. Another example is HexV. When he joined he was "Hex the Human". He didn't have a fursonna for over a year and a half cuz he "wasn't a furry" at the time. And he was welcomed with out question or awkwardness.

Call yourself what you wish. That is your choice. Don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable for "not having a fursonna" or using your real name.

[Aleria]

When I joined the community, I did not actually consider myself to be a furry - I was just happy to be in the company of some very interesting, strange people. I got asked what my fursona was, and I just said "something feline" because I've always been associated with cats. There are other people in the community who go by their real names, as well. For me, I go by another name because I don't want my real name associated with anything that might come across as "bad", unfortunately there is a real stereotype against furries, and because I may go into a political field, I'm trying to avoid it affecting my future. If you're comfortable with using your real name, there's no reason not to use it!

In some ways, I don't really have a fursona either. I identify with a black jaguar, but I don't have a separate character, and I don't even think of myself in anthro form really. Like Sevrin said, there's no "wrong" way to be a furry, you can do whatever makes you happy, and if people judge you for it just tell them to knock it off. I'm sorry you had that experience, and I hope you give us a second chance! The community can be a lot of fun to be part of.

[Drake Wingfire]

I can't say I have been in the same boat as my 11 years in this fandom so far have always been as the same dragon with the same name. Though where I came from originally (Otherkin community) having an identifiable face and a real personal name were HUGE things, because in that community it was all about who you truly saw yourself as and expressed yourself as, as a spiritual being. But regardless of subculture, spirituality or fandom the main reason everyone are so keen on having a unique name and a species is because many almost treat the fandom as a semi secret "double life". We go about our daily lives with our regular names being known as something like "Jessie the grocery clerk", "David the IT guy" or "Ben the delivery driver" and the fandom is all about being and expressing something beyond the typical mundane lives that we have where the most "out there" you can be and still be socially acceptable is like just a stoner with a gaming obsession, maybe also gay on top of that, and even that still tends to be taboo in ""normal society"" I hesitate to use the phrase "escapism" as really that's not what we do. We don't pretend our real lives don't exist, we instead take on another identity and actually allow ourselves to live the way we want to. Truly express who we are instead of bottling it up so much.

Sticking my neck out here a bit for an example but....

Myself for example: In every day life outside of the furry fandom or kin communities I am simply known as a guy who likes cars, I work as a lot attendant at a dealership, plays a odd assortment of games and loves to draw dragons and tinker around with computers, I tend to keep to myself and don't care to really put myself out there for most regular people. So.. in this day and age, preeeetty par for being a 20-something, in any other group I blend to the point people don't even see me at times.

But as far as Furry/Otherkin are concerned, I am Drake Wingfire, a red western dragon, rather spiritual with who I identify as, with a thing for really bad and dirty, even horribly un-PC humor. I love to draw dragons alright and many other things, usually a good helping of "adult tagging" on the end cause im a porn-a-holic haha, I have a good circle of friends who I love to make laugh, usually by me throwing myself out there and having a good time, I do speak my mind a lot on many subjects and I LOVE to get into some of the deeper, spiritual and social discussions than I tend to around regular people. OH! and I am oh so GAY! I still have the same interests and hobbies of course, but I don't even use them to really reflect who I truly am.

If you compared the Dragon me to the Human me side by side they would almost appear as two separate people aside a few overlaps. This is mainly because many regular people that I meet can not even handle something as simply as a guy liking to draw dragons(no adult stuff) or deeper discussion than what the weather currently is, forget even uttering spirituality. I do not care to share who I really am with those who simply seek to try and tear it down because they view someone with different interests and beliefs as a threat. I tend to regard them as aggressive conformity enforcers. Its not that they actively seek to do so in some sorta morale crusade, it just that they are so use to things being a VERY set way, that anyone outside that is viewed as social dysfunction or having problems and they feel the need to try and "fix" them.

In a sense this is just part of why in the fandom  people chose to have a species and a special name behind themselves. Its a new clean slate, they can truly be who they feel they are without any pre-conceived notions of who they should be being pushed onto them by family, coworkers or any regular life influences. I like referring to people by their species or fur name, it just seems respectful to me because you are acknowledging them as who they feel they are and who they are expressing themselves as. I always feel like if I refer to them by the human name and forgo the whole furry aspect I might as well be saying "hey get back to mundane life, flip burgers or make lattes or something, you are not a Dragon, Wolf, Fox, Horse, etc".

This is just the outlook of a dragon who treats his identity as who he truly is at his core, where as his every day life is just blending in and making things roll along. ~.=.^

[weremagnus]

I had my 'fursona' before I knew what furry or the fandom was. It was a character I made up that I liked to play pretend as growing up. Then as I discovered the furry community it sort of just fit?
Sometimes I don't even refer to Magnus my as Fursona though, I also just call her a mascot or even an alias.

[tokar]

you might want to check out the thread .. Whats the meaning of your name?  it might explain some things to you.  as for your fursona name how about Bob Wolfe?

[Neox]

First off, I want to give you a pat on the back for taking the time to write this. This is an issue I felt hasn't been addressed well enough in our community, especially for newcomers and people just discovering furry fandom.

I'll re-state what I've said to many others who are trying to discover their place in our community: There are no rules to being a furry. Just because someone feels like THEY need a fursona to justify their existence in our group doesn't mean you do. Being a furry is whatever you want it to be. There's no kingpin, no president... nobody is going to tell you who or what to be.

I've felt your frustration. I usually introduce myself as Steve, and I have had people--straight up--say to me, "I don't use my REAL name here." Like... so fucking what? I gave you MY name; who gives a shit what name you give me.

Dude, whatever you do, don't feel the need to conform to what everyone else says. Be who you are, whatever you want to be. You can keep introducing yourself as Darren: the guy who likes wolves. If anyone tries to fault you on that, you can feel perfectly free to turn it around on them. "Why do I NEED a furry name? Why do I NEED a fursona? What difference does it make that you have a fursona and I don't? I can be Darren; you can be [insert person's furry name here]."

Fuck 'em, man. You're perfectly fine being who you are. :)

[tokar]

@ Neox aka Steve   as usual- well said.

[Tosca]

I'll re-state what I've said to many others who are trying to discover their place in our community: There are no rules to being a furry. Just because someone feels like THEY need a fursona to justify their existence in our group doesn't mean you do. Being a furry is whatever you want it to be. There's no kingpin, no president... nobody is going to tell you who or what to be.

Boop, this! Everyone's reasons for having or not having a fursona differ hugely. Some people identify strongly with their character as a personal representation, and some people just use the character as a screen face for the furry community. And some people do neither or both or a mix. (I use Tosca as a screen character without a ton of personal identification, but only use my fur name at events for safety reasons. :P) Nobody can really shame you for not having a fursona; it might startle them, sure, because it's rather uncommon in the fandom, but it's really your choice and none of their business.

[Tef]

Hey Darren, it was nice meeting you at the start of Sushi that Tuesday. I know how that feels whenever you are starting off green in a new community - you tend to try and find ways to conform, and then you could use that means of initial conformity as a springboard to how you would define your uniqueness as you. Heck, even originality is relative, but there's nothing wrong with that.

In terms of asking whether you have a furry name or a fursona, I can state that it was just a matter of curiousity, no hard feelings at all.

All in all, you've answered your own question in your OP.  ;)

So as a result of my particular journey I've never developed a fursona to personify my wolfyness. I never felt I needed one, it had never really even occurred to me as something that needed to be created till Sushi Tuesday. Being wolfish is just a part of who I am and how I see myself, it has always felt like a natural part of my identity and to personify it through a fursona, through a separate identity from my own, seems unnatural and disconnecting in a way but exciting and creative in others.

P.S. Good going, Neox, for the record I could never put it better than you myself in terms of what it is to become part of a furry fandom.

[Grey]

Haha, yes I was the "New Guy" at Sushi Tuesday. You people are awesome thank you for the thoughtful replies!

For clarification the initial encounter wasn't negative per se, the question of "what is my fursona" was intriguing more than anything else. Not only was it something I had not put too much thought into but I had never been in a situation where I could discuss this openly with people who could relate, understand and not judge me harshly for it. So no worries I thought you were all wonderful, strange and interesting people and I fully intend to be at Sushi Tuesday tonight. :)

I am glad to see that the general sentiment here is that there is no right or wrong way to do this and that being a furry is whatever one makes of it, your statement Neox in particular is greatly appreciated:

I'll re-state what I've said to many others who are trying to discover their place in our community: There are no rules to being a furry. Just because someone feels like THEY need a fursona to justify their existence in our group doesn't mean you do. Being a furry is whatever you want it to be. There's no kingpin, no president... nobody is going to tell you who or what to be. [...] Fuck 'em, man. You're perfectly fine being who you are. :)

But that feeling of taboo still lingers for me which is why I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how many people go by their real name in the physical company of other furs. I feel it perhaps says something about the distinction made between online and offline interaction and how comfortable someone is with their furriness in public. But how to disperse this feeling of taboo? Perhaps it is unavoidable, until one feels comfortable with a new group of people there will always be things new comers will interpret as being vitally important to participating in this community and having a fursona definitely comes across as one of those things for all the reasons people have posted in reply and more. Making a distinction between having a name not attached to a fursona though is also interesting to consider here.

Maybe it just sounds more comfortable, not having a human name attached, creating an illusion. I've no fursona (at least as far as one can tell), not even a nickname, I am just kin with tigers. It took me some hard attempts to realise I can meet with the community and be myself without an image or anything attached at first.

This I can relate to, adopting just a name that isn't necessarily represented by or attached to a fursona, but at the same time wanting to make a distinction between my regular-life self and my furry self that are ultimately two sides of the same coin. Which leads me nicely into Drake's wonderfully detailed reply:

I can't say I have been in the same boat as my 11 years in this fandom so far have always been as the same dragon with the same name. Though where I came from originally (Otherkin community) having an identifiable face and a real personal name were HUGE things, because in that community it was all about who you truly saw yourself as and expressed yourself as, as a spiritual being. But regardless of subculture, spirituality or fandom the main reason everyone are so keen on having a unique name and a species is because many almost treat the fandom as a semi secret "double life". We go about our daily lives with our regular names being known as something like "Jessie the grocery clerk", "David the IT guy" or "Ben the delivery driver" and the fandom is all about being and expressing something beyond the typical mundane lives that we have where the most "out there" you can be and still be socially acceptable is like just a stoner with a gaming obsession, maybe also gay on top of that, and even that still tends to be taboo in ""normal society"" I hesitate to use the phrase "escapism" as really that's not what we do. We don't pretend our real lives don't exist, we instead take on another identity and actually allow ourselves to live the way we want to. Truly express who we are instead of bottling it up so much.
[...]
In a sense this is just part of why in the fandom people chose to have a species and a special name behind themselves. Its a new clean slate, they can truly be who they feel they are without any pre-conceived notions of who they should be being pushed onto them by family, coworkers or any regular life influences. I like referring to people by their species or fur name, it just seems respectful to me because you are acknowledging them as who they feel they are and who they are expressing themselves as.

Now this really resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this Drake and providing your personal example, similar to you I was involved with the online Therian community before allowing myself to open up to the furry community. I was a kid looking for answers and justifications for why I felt the way I did and I was surprisingly open about it with my friends and family growing up. But things change of course, minus the spiritual side of things I feel much the same way about my wolfness as Drake does about his dragonness but I am not nearly as open about it in my everyday life as I once was. I have learned to become very selective with who I open up my wolfy side to. So we have two sides of the same coin, heads and tails (I'll let you guess which side is the furry one ;P ), and which side is face up for people to see depends on who I'm in the company of and how comfortable I am with them.

With that in mind compared with you Drake the lines get a little more blurred for me. It's not so much that I'm presenting two very different identities but that I'm revealing a deeper side to myself to those I'm comfortable with, to those I trust and it feels great to have that recognized in kind. So perhaps the coin analogy isn't the greatest in this case, two sides is too simple, a 20 sided dice would work much better. People are complicated and our identities are multifaceted and depending on how comfortable I am and how much I trust someone I'll rotate my die to show that much more or less of my self to people.

To have a way of marking a distinction, even if it's with just a name that brings attention to this side of myself, is an attractive thing. Thinking about it now actually, at Academie Duello where I practice my swordplay, a number of my good friends there will greet or refer to me as The Wolf and often make silly grand statements about it. I'm well known there and most people outside my friends think its just a funny running joke, and to be fair that's how it did start out, but it makes me incredibly happy to walk in to the salle and be greeted as The Wolf, to have my friends recognize this about me. So it's understandable for me to see why having a furry name and a fursona is so attractive and why being interpellated (philosophically in the Althusser sense) as such is a significant thing for a number of people in the furry community.

So coming back to this question of "why the need for a fursona," I would like to change it to "why have a fursona?" Many of you have clearly stated that one does not need a fursona or even an alternate name to be apart of this community, so why so do you have them?

To the reasons already given I'd like to add to them by saying that having a fursona and/or an alternate name to share is a great way to say, "I'm comfortable here" without saying it overtly. I'm thinking that sharing your fursona can be an indication of trust as much as a it is a means of secrecy and maintaining anonymity. I also really want to expand on this idea of interpellation and fursonas but it's 4:00am so I'll finish for now by saying it's why I can really relate to Drakes sentiment about wanting to refer, or "hail," people by their species or furry name, it's an acknowledgment of that trust in a way and a sign of respect for their chosen identity over the ones given or dictated to us by society. All my own speculation of course take it or leave it as you will.

[dreki]

Your 'sona does not need to be a separate identity or character, but it can merely be a representation of how you feel. This is one of those issues that will eat at you for years if you let it (and what you have said is the exact reason I was not a dragon for the first few years of being in the fandom; it felt awkward associating that thing to the fandom and making it appear like a separate entity from myself). In fact, I discovered I was wrong, and 'sona' can have a variety of different meanings- from those who are spiritually deep and feel it represents their innermost thoughts and feelings to what is merely another character. And for some, it even exists as both. The fandom is really only limited to what you think it should be.

As for "Furry Names", it doesn't really matter either. It is sort of an 'expected' thing (and likely a result of the fandom's birth in the internet), but is in no way required... It seems to boil down to: some feel that a human name is not a good representation of who they are. For some it's not unique enough, for others it's just wrong, and for others still a furry name is just what the characters names are. From my personal experience with it, the entire thing really boils down to what you want to see it as.

And in my case, I gave myself a nickname before anyone else could. "Drekian" isn't really a character name, and while it can be deep and metaphorical, it's mostly just the nickname that people can associate with me *shrug* I don't have an issue telling people I meet in real life my real name and identity, and they're welcome to call me whatever they prefer.

Nothing is required for participation in the fandom. You're totally welcome to experience it as you are comfortable with it. ^.=.^


Edit: In response to why have a fursona... Well, it varies again. Everyone's definition of a 'sona is so vast, from the spiritual/metaphysical aspects to the character- some use it for escapism, some use it for representation of the self, some use it as power, and others have sonas just because they're cute. It really, really depends, and the fandom tends to regard this question with a shrug, and return the question: why not?