Uninvited minors that just show up to 19+ events

[Neox]

Ah I see. That is bad enough.

Personally, even if drinking isn't going on (by the of-age people) at a private indoor party... I am uncomfortable when minors are around. It is ok in an outdoor, picnic type setting, just not indoors. XD I prefer alcohol-free gatherings anyway.

The person in question is also NOTORIOUS for stealing other peoples' alcohol when they're not looking, or attempting to mooch.  He's done it to me, my boyfriend, and several other friends of mine.

[Lusiphur]

Is it just being under 19 and showing up that this person is doing wrong?

The person in question is doing more than just being under-age to warrant the discussion. They a) went to an of-age event while under-age after b) being asked not to attend due to previous behaviour at other events including, amongst other things, theft of other peoples' property (alcohol, food, etc).

Needless to say... without "outing" the individual here... enough people are aware of who it is from their own experience in either being at one or both of the events in question and seeing it or being at one or both of the events in question and having been the target of said theft. Others know due to the inevitable word-of-mouth that occurs as a result of being a d-bag who steals from people and abuses their generosity. Yet others have likely figured it out based on the threads the discussions have occurred in and the events coinciding with them, etc.

In the end, the only thing I will say at this juncture is this... MOST of us in the 'community' are fairly generous and giving (from what I've seen). If you're not abusing it, many of us will have ZERO problem with giving some food or drink or w/e if asked for due to running short on your own supply or w/e. When you make no effort to supply yourself and rely solely on the hand-outs of others, you are a mooch and not welcomed. When you abuse the trust of others by taking from them without asking, you are a thief and not welcomed. When you are asked not to attend a function because your prior behaviour warrants that you be excluded by the host and come anyway without telling the person who drove you 2 hours out of their way that you weren't welcome... you are an ass-hat and honestly... who wants to deal with that?

[Temrin]

The person in question is also NOTORIOUS for stealing other peoples' alcohol when they're not looking, or attempting to mooch.  He's done it to me, my boyfriend, and several other friends of mine.

Ah yup. I wasnt 100% sure who it was. But after that comment, yup. i know who it is. XD -oh the stories-

[Spirit]

I think its safe to say.  Lets keep minors out of the 19+ events.  Be respectful to one another and if you cant expect to be excluded...  Simple as that.  Now I think we have sat on this topic for long enough, lets walk away from the drama and the bull, and move on to being our happier furry selves again ^=^

[Temrin]

Lol people can still be happy and enjoying themselves even while talking about stuff like this. Most of this was a very mature conversation. As people have previously stated, no one jumped the gun to out this person, we were getting opinions stated and dealing with it in a very good manner. (the finally of this has yet to really be determined. of weather this person should be outed or not) Its not really drama when talking about it in a mature manner. Drama is the fact that the person did it in the first place XD.

[Blazewing]

To be honest, if said person made a dick move to show up with others in hopes of gaining admittance after being explicitly told that they were not welcome, I would have sent just that person away and let the others decide if they wanted to attend or not.

[tokar]

i know who this person is and i have been in contact with the person in question.  he says he is going to withdraw from community activities for awhile. he is not proud of what he did.

so many of us know who it is yet to out him will not serve any specific purpose.  he has agreed not to attend any functions without an escort or should i say - handler.

although he is a big boy, he is not yet mature for his age.  he means well and wants to fit in but he tries to do it all at once, which always fucks up.  he shouldn't consume alcohol even when he is of age.  he needs guidance and not to be ostracized.

remember the saying ,,,,,, it takes a village to raise a child.  and he is still a child.

[Temrin]

as long as this person understands what they did, and have done in the past, is inappropriate and that if it is done again people wont take it so lightly, then fine. As well, they do not say -they are sorry- and then do it again. If this person needs a "handler" then i do agree, they shouldn't be drinking at all.

[squashNstretch]

Any harm in naming names? I'm planning on hosting an even in the not so distant future. Also, whats the generally accepted practice for dealing with these people in this community? I'm the kind of person that is comfortable correcting thieves.

[Spirit]

Well its good to see that things are settling down and resolution has been made as well as acknowledgement from the individual in question...  I hope that they succeed in correcting themselves and that we can all continue to be happy with many more awesome events to come.

[Lusiphur]

To sum it up (as this thread HAS been going for a while now)...

Let's just say that opinions differ on how to handle it. In the end, if you have an event and someone shows that has been asked not to, ask them to leave.

As for the behaviours in question... Well my prior posts are general (not aimed at any one person) and express my thoughts on that pretty clearly ;) If you go to an event don't be a mooch, don't be a thief, don't make an ass of yourself and you should get along just fine with most of the community at large :D

As for outing an individual, I don't think that's necessary here and I'm sure time will tell as to whether their wish to become better is sincere :)

[Sairys]

Im rather curious now who this person is I have my suspicions who it might be.

[Kitten]

I am happy to hear that the person in question has acknowledged the issue and is willing to work at fixing them!

Tho I think that if they "need" a handler/escort in order to attend 19+ events or events with alcohol then they should not be there in the first place. I understand that he is wanting to continue to attend with guidance but if we need to baby them/watch their every move then that is asking too much.

[Temrin]

I agree with you whole heartedly Kitten.

[Choco]

I do agree with kitten as well not only would the supervisor/handler would not only be able to enjoy the event since that person would have to keep their eyes on the person in question for the duration of the event and not to mention we would too have to keep an eye on him so I think personally that he shouldn't be attending at a 19+ event period until the person in question can fully control himself when it comes to other people's alcohol.

It is good that he has recognized that it is an issue and wants to fix them that is all well and good but a handler/escort I feel is too much to ask currently at this point in time. Only the person in question can fix this issue for himself and I do certainly hope that they do fix this so they can continue to attend future events without making these kind of issues come up even if that includes medical assistance or help from professionals to address the problem.