Stupid funny jokes ! aka PUNS!! or riddles that would be cool to

[thatkittyguy]

why do hookers like irish midgets? Because they are magically delicious  :-3

[Icey Dominus]

I wish Dallas would read that one

[Tef]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mastication

What were you thinking in your head again? You naughty, naughty sicko.  ^-^

[professor whovianart]

why do cows wear bell?....    their horns don`t work.

[Arrea]

Teacher displayed this in Bio thismorning. It made me giggle. X3

[Tef]

Econofurs will get this.

What did the economist say to another during a successful regulation of the marketplace in his or her favour?

Give my invisible hand a high five!

[Tai]

Who wins in a boxing match. A sphere or a cube?

A cube, because it has the edge.

[weremagnus]

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.

What kind of cheese can you live in?
Cottage cheese.

[bigjonesb]

 Do you really want a bad joke?...

A fat guy walks past a bakery...   



What?, that's the joke.

[Tef]

What do you call Cee Lo's shadow?
A Cee Louette!

[Kittara]

What do you call a sleeping cow?

A BULLDOZER!

[Tef]

What does a drunken zombie crave for?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE

[Lt ReiStark]

What do you call a herd of cows with no legs? Ground Beef.

What do you call a cow singing bohemian rhapsody with his band? Dairy Queen.

What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokinoff

How do you take the lord's name in vain in India? yell "HOLY COW!"

Why did the cow get detention? Bull-ying.

What do you call it when a cow fails? An Udder dissapointment

What is a cow's favorite pie? Mooberry.

Where do baby cows drink their coffee? a CALF-e [cafe]

What do cows drink to get drunk? MOOnshine.

Why did the cow cross the road? to get to the Udder side.

How do cows season their food? Salt and Heifer

[bigjonesb]

Post from someone on my facebook:

Sea levels aren't rising due to global warming. They are rising due to the increase in obesity. The continents are actually sinking...

lol

[MidnightWolfLeonus]

Genie In A Bottle

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled
across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out
popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me
from the lamp...yada yada yada!

This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little
sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them.
You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for
a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but
I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me
a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the
logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the
bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete ... how
much steel! Do you know how many engineers I would have to
hire to figure how to do it?  No, think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish.
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four
times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm
insensitive.  So, I wish that I could understand women...
know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when
they give me the silent treatment... know why they're
crying, know what they really want when they say
'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy."

The genie paused for a few minutes and then said, "You want
that bridge with two lanes or four?"