Help make me more date-able

Ja'Nathun · August 05, 2012, 11:47:45 PM

Good friends in the community, I've come here to ask for your help in matters of the heart, or lack thereof, as the case may be. Tell me, what are people looking for these days on the dating scene? I've met a lot of people within the last 25 years and I've failed to make a lasting impression on any of them. So, I ask your advice: what can a young man improve on himself to become a more date-able bachelor?

I am well kempt in dress and hygiene.
I keep an organized home.
I maintain a sense of good humor.
I like to have a good time.
I have a steady job, and a career path set for the future.
I have my s*** together.

These are things I thought most people looked for, but I don't think they're enough. What can I do that I'm not already doing, and what can I improve on that I AM already doing?

Peli · August 06, 2012, 12:04:46 AM

I think people are still getting good results with chloroform.

Ja'Nathun · August 06, 2012, 12:20:56 AM

Quote from: Rue on August 06, 2012, 12:04:46 AM
I think people are still getting good results with chloroform.

Lol, thanks for that. I can always do with a laugh.

...

And on another note, do you know where I can get some of that good stuff? >.>

Temrin · August 06, 2012, 12:27:07 AM

Honestly. Certain people click with certain people. Those qualities you say are very good qualities but you just have to get out, meet people, and eventually, you will find someone.

you be who you are, and eventually you will find someone who likes you for you. I do not know you, so i cannot say if -your standard- of cleanliness and good humor are as good as you make them sound (i know some people who think they are cleanly when they are not XD ) so i cannot attest to those attributes you mentioned. Regardless, you will find someone. just be outgoing and meet new people. Thats really all you can do.

Fuzzum · August 06, 2012, 12:02:51 PM

ya outing is good but not alot of pleople just cant do that the Shyness factor is to high but thats just me. he sounds like a good fellow if hes got a good sence of humor and not scared to make fun of himself from time to time he'll do just fine.

tokar · August 06, 2012, 12:13:09 PM

have you thought of having a nose job? it seemed to work for all the Jewish girls when i was going to high school.

or rather than expecting them to raise their standards to your level, you may have to lower yours to theirs. maybe that should be the other way around.

RainRat · August 07, 2012, 11:28:20 AM

We're you looking to date a guy or a girl? Sorry, I don't remember which way you are, and the answer might differ some. From what I've seen, you're a pretty great catch for someone.

Renwaldo · August 07, 2012, 12:25:49 PM

Nate likes the best both worlds have to offer. ;)

Ja'Nathun · August 07, 2012, 05:08:01 PM

Quote from: Renwaldo on August 07, 2012, 12:25:49 PM
Nate likes the best both worlds have to offer. ;)

If you must shorten my name, please do so with "Nath"

...

And on an unrelated note, as much as the encouragement is nice, I refuse to accept that continuing to do the same thing I've been doing the past 25 years --that is, being myself, which has failed me-- will somehow ocassion better circumstances in the future. Your advice, however, Tokar, is understood loud and clear.

Temrin · August 07, 2012, 05:35:11 PM

"being yourself" is the important part. Sorry, but i would never want to date someone who doesnt act like who they are, to get a mate/date/etc. You are you. If something causes a change (like experience, events, etc) then thats natural. But forcing a change so that you can find someone, when your qualities are already pretty darned good, is, in my mind, pretty much the same as lieing. -shrugs-. and that is unattractive.

Just my thoughts anyways.

RainRat · August 07, 2012, 05:55:36 PM

Well, I may not be the best person to give dating advice, but do make sure people know what you're looking for. Not saying to overdo it though. Post to Pounced.org, or the Personals section here.

Pat The Fox · August 07, 2012, 09:44:51 PM

Mingling is probably the best way to find someone. Attend social events that parallel your interests and that might have people available in. Just being out in the crowd can sometimes have the effect of you running in to another. Dances, conventions, gathering all bring the opportunity to meet new people and perhaps find a kindred soul.

Other than that, there is always dating websites if you have not tried those. It's not the ideal situation, but, well, sometimes you just need to make yourself able to be found in any ways you can.

Renwaldo · August 08, 2012, 01:01:59 AM

Quote from: Ja'Nathun on August 07, 2012, 05:08:01 PM
If you must shorten my name, please do so with "Nath"

...

And on an unrelated note, as much as the encouragement is nice, I refuse to accept that continuing to do the same thing I've been doing the past 25 years --that is, being myself, which has failed me-- will somehow ocassion better circumstances in the future. Your advice, however, Tokar, is understood loud and clear.

Sorry. 'Nath'.

Technically speaking you've only been sexually capable since you - were what? 11? - reached puberty. That would be the past 14 years approximately.
:)
Anyways don't you change anything about yourself Nathan. Just keep doing what ever it is you do, people love you. You simply haven't found one to stick with, but those aren't easy to find. If you change too much of yourself you risk becoming insane. I think at 25 you just need to give yourself more time.
Keep going out, be obnoxious, have fun!

Lt ReiStark · August 08, 2012, 02:27:12 AM

Nobody can make you more datable, its something you have to do for yourself. All you need is to learn to love yourself as much as you want to be loved, and keep room in your heart to love another should they appear. I got a boyfriend after I learned to love spending time relaxing and being by myself doing what I like, without the need for another. So if you already are like what I described then stop worrying and just go back to life as normal, and if you aren't then try to learn to love being by yourself as much as with others, and come to respect yourself with maybe self motivational sticky notes around the house, and planning time to do your favorite thing alone.
Nobody can teach you to act the way I said, its something that comes with self training and personal growth.

Ja'Nathun · August 12, 2012, 03:59:56 PM

I'd like to thank everyone for their ideas, encouragement, and general advice. It has made me think about where I am and where I'm going, and as I think on all those things, I realize that making this thread was really quite silly. I don't want to date, and I don't want a mate. It's as simple as that. Instead, I am going to redirect my energies to matters where my time is beter spent. Thank you.