Umm why are the way we are?

[Neox]

To be honest I'd find it more hilarious than awkward. Everyone has kinks, and so long as you're not running around acting like an animal around everyone all the time it shouldn't be a problem.
Also, most cases doesn't some it up, especially when such a large portion of the fandom is rooted in porn.
Don't be an elitist within a fandom, an Us vs. Them attitude is a leading cause for the persecution complex. Bronies are getting it too, as they try to deny and hide the fetishism behind it.

You can go ahead and defend your wish to have porn and furries be an integral thing; I'm going to continue defending the fact that I think the two sides are best left apart from each other except for individuals who choose to delve into it themselves.

And you bet your ass that family and friends would give a shit about it, especially if they care about you.  It is a controversial topic.  Furry porn is borderline bestiality, for fuck sake!  (Let me stress the word BORDERLINE so I don't get people flipping shit on me about that.)  And how about this: for once, stop worrying about what your parents'/friends' reaction would be and how it would affect and inconvenience YOU.  Why not take five minutes and imagine how it affects THEM.  My mother was distraught enough when I busted out the fact that I was dating Josh.  She wasn't angry, or in denial of the fact that I'm now sleeping with a guy; but she was brought up in a totally different social environment than I was and this was something completely new and scary for her.  And this is something that is now mainstream.  Gays and lesbians exist everywhere now, so it's not like she hadn't seen it before.  But it was a shock for her to realize that one of her own family was now gay.

So imagine how something as outlandish as having a sexual interest in depictions of humanlike animals fucking might affect her.  She would be mortified, and this is not something I want to bring down on her, no fucking way.

So how about having a little bit of respect for the people who aren't completely savvy with furry culture, and imagine what it might be like for THEM to realize that you are into shit, which to them, might look just as bad as bestiality and paedophilia.  This isn't elitism.  Elitism would be someone thinking they're better than you because you like greasy furry porn and they are a squeaky clean goodie two shoes.  I'm totally guilty of being into furry porn; hell, I draw the shit and I enjoy it like any other.  But I'm not going to jeopardize the way my friends, family, coworkers and other associates think of me by risking them being completely offended when I explain that I'm a furry.

Not all furries are into furry porn.  Thus, saying that the two sides are integral would be false.

If you choose to convolute the explanation you give to people with "furry porn is part of furry culture," most of the time, you'll just drive them away.  They'll lock the issue and not want to talk about it again.  But if that's the way you wanna do it, fine by me.  I hope that works for ya.

[Fazar]

I just want to add this is one of my favorite topics on this entire forum.

I have been fortunate enough to have a family that is for the most part understanding, and caring.  My mom and dad know that I'm a furry, dad I don't think fully grasps it, mom does a bit more, and my brother 'thinks' he understands it and is the only one who really kind of disowns me because of his disgust with it.

A lot of this does focus around the sexual side of things, and it's always been a thing that Furries have had to had slapped next to them.  I think the largest issue that Furries deal with regarding the sexual thing is that they are viewed by the public largely as being 100% a sexual kink, and nothing else.  It's fun to see other people talk about Furries, and though they bring up stuff like CSI, the thing that seems to escape them is that there is, and there is a fairly large part that is not sexual.

Like in my first post where I said that even within the furry fandom there is division, this post gives an excellent example of that where being furry means different things for different people.  Despite us all clinging to the tag "Furry" we have to soemtimes tag around others who try to make the name stand for something else.

Most important thing I think in giving the public an eye into the furry fandom is to try and seperate the sexual side of things, because you give them an inch, they will take a mile.  That's why you cringe when you see a Furry being interviewed "So is there any sex", "Well.. there is a little sex", and then all other form of reasoning regarding description of the Furry Fandom is completly out of the window.

Like I'm not sure if you guys still know, but a lot of the reviews I often see of people hating on the furry fandom think that the conventions are nothing but giant sex parties in suits.

[Neox]

"I'm Commander Shepherd, and this is my favourite topic on the Citadel."  (Sorry, I couldn't help it.)

Like in my first post where I said that even within the furry fandom there is division, this post gives an excellent example of that where being furry means different things for different people.  Despite us all clinging to the tag "Furry" we have to soemtimes tag around others who try to make the name stand for something else.

Most important thing I think in giving the public an eye into the furry fandom is to try and seperate the sexual side of things, because you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

Exactly.  And that's where it becomes frustrating while trying to explain to someone that you're a furry.  9 times out of 10, the mainstream individual hears something about furries in a blog, media report, etc, where the article is about someone who was interviewed specifically about the fetish side of being furry.  And that's ALL people wanna hear about!  Because it's fucked up!  Look at how much talk went down about the Miami guy who ate the face off a homeless dude!  Nobody is saying, "Holy shit, I hope that homeless guy was ok;" everyone is all jabbering like, "Holy shit it's the motherfucking ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!  Dave!!! Get your Mossberg!  D-Day's a-comin'!  :'D"  We all eat the cracked-out media like fucking candy while we shun the less interesting stuff because it's less exciting.

So when people hear about furries in the general public, they don't give a damn about the person who's trying their hardest to explain that being furry is different for everyone, and it's mostly harmless and fun; they LOCK-IN on the kid who's like, "Yeah, me and my boyfriend joined because we're both, like, animals inside, and we like putting on the suits when we screw because it's like we're actually being our animal-selves," because it's fucked up!  It's weird!  To your average, everyday person, this is so far out in the Realm of WTF that they need to build a bigger telescope to catch a glimpse of it.

I've explained to a few of my co-workers that I'm a furry and what that means to me, and ALL of them have found it to be quite acceptable and nowhere near as screwed-up as they thought it was.  I guess a part of that, though, was having gained their respect BEFORE I dropped that bomb on them.  Either way, I told them my side of it and let them draw their conclusions.  They still invite me out for beer, so I guess it worked out for the better. XD

I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore.  What was the topic again? o.=.O

=P

[Fuzzum]

lol ya that happens the best of everyone , ya it got a little Dark there seems we all have a little role to play here as the meteator (Ya cant spell so your lucky i even get close) for the furry's by supporting it in a positive way and not getting the meaning lost in the world that is put befor us and go with the flow of what we get and only hope that it comes out positive.

[Drake Wingfire]

I am honestly not too sure how I feel regarding your examples Neox, On the one hand I do see what you mean by family being mortified and generally losing their shit. I think every single one of us has a tale like that, I sure know I do... But at the same time, how badly does family really need to know about furry interests or your sexual interests (gay aside as its more main stream in this era)? I would be willing to be its on the same level as "Mom, Dad... I am an Otherkin, I believe I was a dragon in a past life and I wanna go out and meditate in the woods!" we all know its just shit that is going to fly WAY over their heads and we know that the most common reaction is gonna be "whoshitafuck! my Son is totally fucked in the head, I should have put him on meds when he was younger!" and what ground was truly gained in revealing such a thing about yourself? unless you are into some form of social masochism then you really haven't gained anything.

In virtually every taboo community there has been a method developed to deal with such an outcome, It goes something like this?

Does my family truly need to know THAT side of me? Will it really pan out that much in day to day life? How often am I going to reference furries or my sexuality around my own family?

Honestly in my opinion, if one is going to go to such lengths to try and verbally censor the fandom and make it look like its all people practicing some form of shamanic totem animals and that we really are only just society's new wave of hippies who wanna just watch robin hood and eat Doritos, then how much more of an effort is it truly to just avoid the entire subject with people you know for a fact will have virtually no comprehension and will automatically assume the worst? To me it seems far much more of a burden to make an effort to "come out" over something that will have very little, maybe even no effect on your daily family life. How ever, if you know they are very open people and can actually handle new ideas and concepts then by all means if you feel it then do it. Just remember that people are not as stupid as we like to assume, especially family, they can tell when someone is tip-toeing and sugar coating a subject.

As a good friend once said about me "Drake you are by far the WORST furry I know (due to my dirty humor and mindset), yet you are also the most professional furry I know outside the fandom.. I just don't know how you do it." For me its simple, know people, understand who the average person is, know what kind of people your family are. (horrible example here) If you don't and decide its a good idea to say... come out of the closet while dressed in drag while going to church with your family, then you honestly can't be surprised at the backlash and burning you will get. Some may call it putting on a face or living two lives,  I just call it being smart and knowing when revealing something about myself is gonna result in nothing but a bit ass and a headache.

[Fuzzum]

ya ridicule is a big part in it from all who know, so i just go all light foot around the subject when they ask "What the hell is that" Me "wolf man or cat girl" and just drop the subject dead right their and move on with what i was doing. but then again im the realy odd one in the family and they just let it go or tease a little. but then again i dont realy let them know the hole deal, and they only catch a glimps and I hide it the best i cant to those who wouldnt realy get it and look at me in more of a weirdo and stay at arms length, but im lucky the family and freinds i hang out with know from only what i show them and dont mined it. all that matters is how you feel with eather hiding it or Bring out in the open the way you see fit to those you love and hold close to you.


Ok funny and weird thing for me. my as well put some beans out there since its getting a little deep so ill lighten it up a bit with a weird story.

a family member of mine came home and i was out peting the tame cows and just stading around thinking of well furry stuff and what i was going to do for the week, well she came home from work and i decided i was done hanging around the cows and caught a ride with her home it was a short walk and i was lazy so she opened the dore the car and sat down i was a little dirty and she looked me over what were you doin there, "I was hanging around and petting them and checking on my girl's caff's" and she looked at me with such discused, I guess i didnt make my self clear and she thought i was Doin naughty things but they just had calfs and i wanted to see them for a wile. and i hent home in a car that had such a akwerd feeling between us and i didnt say anything but thought about it when i got to my room and Just started laughing "Aw man thats funny" Still havent cleared that up. lol much more funnier if i dont to me.

[Neox]

*sighs* Context is everything.

People were speaking in denial of the separation of being a furry and having a furry fetish.  I was explaining my views on the importance of separating the two for the exact reasons you just gave in your rant. (Drake)

If one's parents DO take an interest in their child's life, the furry aspect is GOING to surface.  For me, one thing led to another led to another.  First they just thought it was alternative artwork when I was only just drawing and uploading to an online gallery (age 14 thru 18).  But as I reached the age of 18, 19, 20, I began going out and meeting some of my furry friends both near and far.  This, naturally, led them to question.  In 2010, I went to Anthrocon with two of my best friends from Michigan.  My folks wanted to know what I was doing in MI and PA for 2 weeks, just out of curiosity and because neither of them have been to that part of the US.  I could have been rude and told them to fuck off and mind their own business; I could have fabricated a story and lied to them.  Since neither option is really how I deal with things, I opted for showing them something new and explained what it means to be a furry and that I am one.  They both took it remarkably well, stating that, while they thought it was somewhat strange, it seemed harmless enough and likely was a good outlet for people with strong, active imaginations, as I have.