Uninvited minors that just show up to 19+ events

[dreki]

I know that the one who drove them to this event was completely unaware of any prior conflict between the individuals attending this meet. I have to say that not only was it unfair of said individuals to show up to this meet when they were told not to, it was also wrong of said individuals to take advantage of the driver and weigh the blame on him for this and potentially wreck his enjoyment of such an event. Their actions also jeopardized his potential to attend future events, which is completely unfair of them.

And I do agree with you that if this were the case I would've sent the individuals home regardless of distance. I understand completely. A function such as this is meant so that everyone enjoys it.

But yeah, please don't blame the guy who drove them. Thanks~

[Ravenwood]

You are driving down across the border with someone, and it takes about 2 hours to get to the border.  It turns out that the person you were driving down with isn't allowed across the border and they are refusing him entry.  Furthermore, they KNEW they weren't allowed across the border (and were hoping no one would check or something.)

What do you, as the driver, do?  Do you leave him at the border and continue on your way, or turn back and abandon your trip?

[Neox]

You are driving down across the border with someone, and it takes about 2 hours to get to the border.  It turns out that the person you were driving down with isn't allowed across the border and they are refusing him entry.  Furthermore, they KNEW they weren't allowed across the border (and were hoping no one would check or something.)

What do you, as the driver, do?  Do you leave him at the border and continue on your way, or turn back and abandon your trip?

I'd leave him there with cab-fare, and tell him he has to pay me back when I return. (Unless he has enough for a cab, in which case, he can just sit there and fuck himself.)

[dreki]

I'd leave him there with cab-fare, and tell him he has to pay me back when I return. (Unless he has enough for a cab, in which case, he can just sit there and fuck himself.)

I'd say throw em on public transit. A lot easier to scrounge up a few $ for that. Then if they didn't pay you back it wouldn't be the end of the world either...

[tokar]

You are driving down across the border with someone, and it takes about 2 hours to get to the border.  It turns out that the person you were driving down with isn't allowed across the border and they are refusing him entry.  Furthermore, they KNEW they weren't allowed across the border (and were hoping no one would check or something.)

What do you, as the driver, do?  Do you leave him at the border and continue on your way, or turn back and abandon your trip?

Ravenwoods example actually happened to me.  i wasn't told until the border guards were finished with their interrogations and searches that my passenger wasn't permitted in their country.  as a result of doing a so called friend a favour, i have been banned from the us for life.  comes under the classification of human trafficing. 

not that i really want to go to the us, it is just that even if i did want to go i can't.

[Gizmo]

Ravenwoods example actually happened to me.  i wasn't told until the border guards were finished with their interrogations and searches that my passenger wasn't permitted in their country.  as a result of doing a so called friend a favour, i have been banned from the us for life.  comes under the classification of human trafficing. 

not that i really want to go to the us, it is just that even if i did want to go i can't.

It's pretty amazing what one thoughtless minor can do. I can almost guarantee that person never once thought about the implications to you.
It really is upsetting that one person can call into question, the behavior of many. I have events all the time with little / no incident. Then ONE person can ruin events for others. I don't want to ban underage people from my events as 99% of them behave appropriately (sometimes, more mature than the adults).
Watching the forums over the past week shows that this issue has not gone away and this SAME person has caused issues at yet another furry party. Maybe it's time we announce this person for what he/she really is so all know and can plan appropriately?
Thoughts?

[Ja'Nathun]

Taking this discussion on a slight detour, I'd like to commend everyone who has posted in this thread and also knows the identity of the figure in question. That no one has rashly, or emotionally, jumped at the chance to "out" the individual voices exactly the level of maturity we all hope to see displayed, and though that person's identity may come to light later due to some democratic decision, you all deserve to take a moment of pride at not voluntarily losing your cool, and waiting for that moment to come.

'Cause, you know, lynch mobs are only fun on Saturdays. :P

[Kitten]

Taking this discussion on a slight detour, I'd like to commend everyone who has posted in this thread and also knows the identity of the figure in question. That no one has rashly, or emotionally, jumped at the chance to "out" the individual voices exactly the level of maturity we all hope to see displayed, and though that person's identity may come to light later due to some democratic decision, you all deserve to take a moment of pride at not voluntarily losing your cool, and waiting for that moment to come.

'Cause, you know, lynch mobs are only fun on Saturdays. :P

I agree with you. Well done for not outing this person.

I don't think they should be outed publicly anyway. Tho may be PM the organizers of 19+ events to have them keep an eye out for this person.

[Fazar]

Taking this discussion on a slight detour, I'd like to commend everyone who has posted in this thread and also knows the identity of the figure in question. That no one has rashly, or emotionally, jumped at the chance to "out" the individual voices exactly the level of maturity we all hope to see displayed, and though that person's identity may come to light later due to some democratic decision, you all deserve to take a moment of pride at not voluntarily losing your cool, and waiting for that moment to come.

'Cause, you know, lynch mobs are only fun on Saturdays. :P

I have to agree with this.  There is a part deep down inside of me that yearns to know for the craving of drama and the like(I dont do anything with the information mind you, no gossip ect), but I do know that the right thing to do is not to publically out the person.  It is definately something that should be dealt with usually on a per person basis, or at least a group of people to keep it out of the 'public' eye.  Only bad can really stem from it.

As interesting as Drama is, it ends up becoming a huge hassle for everyone involved.

[Temrin]

My question is, if this is to be done privately (which honestly, this person has caused trouble. I personally feel they should understand that what they are doing is bad. and i dont think they will understand from private means. since they were told not to come, but went anyways. :/ i mean. they obviously dont give two sh**s) Who should be responsible for making sure that people who are hosting 19+/wet events know about this person? Honestly? I don't think it should be any one person's responsibility to keep others informed of this. Other people shouldn't be covering for a person who obviously doesn't care about how they effect the rest of us.

Thats my personal opinion. They've shown that warning and telling them not to show up wont work. So what now? Just let them continue doing it if they decide to show up elsewhere again even though they aren't supposed too? What if the person/people who know about this person forgets to warn someone and they show up there? It shouldn't be on the shoulders of the people affected to cover this persons stupidity in public. -.-'

just my two cents anyways. I dont like drama. I hate it. It causes a lot of issues when there need not be. But i feel that covering up someones purposeful 'mistake' when they know -exactly- what they are doing is only going to impair events in the future and cause more unneeded drama and in the case of some scenarios mentioned above, a liability to others well being and reputation. (yes, i know that particular event was not based on this one person that i am aware. BUT, it could happen and it could ruin things for other people. That is not fair to those with the generosity to offer rides, etc. That just makes me paranoid about who i travel with now. :/ )

I dont want it to have to come down to outing the person in public. embarrassment is not fun. but they know what they are doing. And they know they weren't supposed to show up. So why should we have to cover up what they are doing when they know exactly what they are doing? It just doesnt make sense for responsible people to have to take the rap for what an irresponsible person is doing. Darwinism please. You do something stupid, you should deal with the consequences. This is why a lot of people dont understand when they do things wrong these days is because are so concerned over keeping the peace when keeping the peace and keeping things silent really only causes more issues. (with the exception of if the person legitimately went "oh shit i am so sorry!" and doesnt do it again. :/ Its not hard to understand that 19+ events are 19+. )

I know that sounds harsh. but yeah. -shrugs-

[Gizmo]

My question is, if this is to be done privately (which honestly, this person has caused trouble. I personally feel they should understand that what they are doing is bad. and i dont think they will understand from private means. since they were told not to come, but went anyways. :/ i mean. they obviously dont give two sh**s) Who should be responsible for making sure that people who are hosting 19+/wet events know about this person? Honestly? I don't think it should be any one person's responsibility to keep others informed of this. Other people shouldn't be covering for a person who obviously doesn't care about how they effect the rest of us.

Thats my personal opinion. They've shown that warning and telling them not to show up wont work. So what now? Just let them continue doing it if they decide to show up elsewhere again even though they aren't supposed too? What if the person/people who know about this person forgets to warn someone and they show up there? It shouldn't be on the shoulders of the people affected to cover this persons stupidity in public. -.-'

just my two cents anyways. I dont like drama. I hate it. It causes a lot of issues when there need not be. But i feel that covering up someones purposeful 'mistake' when they know -exactly- what they are doing is only going to impair events in the future and cause more unneeded drama and in the case of some scenarios mentioned above, a liability to others well being and reputation. (yes, i know that particular event was not based on this one person that i am aware. BUT, it could happen and it could ruin things for other people. That is not fair to those with the generosity to offer rides, etc. That just makes me paranoid about who i travel with now. :/ )

I dont want it to have to come down to outing the person in public. embarrassment is not fun. but they know what they are doing. And they know they weren't supposed to show up. So why should we have to cover up what they are doing when they know exactly what they are doing? It just doesnt make sense for responsible people to have to take the rap for what an irresponsible person is doing. Darwinism please. You do something stupid, you should deal with the consequences. This is why a lot of people dont understand when they do things wrong these days is because are so concerned over keeping the peace when keeping the peace and keeping things silent really only causes more issues. (with the exception of if the person legitimately went "oh shit i am so sorry!" and doesnt do it again. :/ Its not hard to understand that 19+ events are 19+. )

I know that sounds harsh. but yeah. -shrugs-

Could not have stated it more precisely!!! I whole hardheartedly agree!!!

[zenia]

Is it just being under 19 and showing up that this person is doing wrong? Or are they doing something annoying/bad/whatever once they arrive (if they get to stay)? I am just curious... but don't need to know the identity of the person as I am not likely to move to the mainland and host any meets.

[Temrin]

as far as i've read, they were drinking underage in a place where cops frequent.  Which puts all the people there at risk of being responsible for this person.

[zenia]

Ah I see. That is bad enough.

Personally, even if drinking isn't going on (by the of-age people) at a private indoor party... I am uncomfortable when minors are around. It is ok in an outdoor, picnic type setting, just not indoors. XD I prefer alcohol-free gatherings anyway.

[Temrin]

@zenia

Not to mention the legal implications of minors drinking alcohol in a public area that is HEAVILY patrolled by authorities.

The first post shows the situation that happened. Indoors or outdoors its still bad and still can have bad implications on the people there.