Dreams and Goals

[JFoxx]

When I was little I use to live in this whole different world, separating myself from reality with imagination.
It would be filled with so many characters, and i was sorta a violent child (I was swearing and doing obscene things at the age of 8 ). Well actually when I think about it, I was a violent child. Lol.

OH YEAH!! Furries have been in my life since I was 8 as well, I use to role play with my sister with shit load of little tiny collector toys of pokemon, digimon and random figures of robin from batman and such; Wed roleplay with them and be very vulgar and were into a lot of crazy stuff when we were kids, like stuff we shouldn't of known and the funny thing was our parents had no influence on that we just sorta picked it up it's weird, lol
I dont think I will ever forget those days and still miss those days. But thats where I got the idea of mixing humans with anthropomorphic being and treated equal.. sorta there was some racial bit like since all furries came to being humans stopped being so racist toward colors of them but more racist towards furries. LOL figures right? So ya there was some racial puns in the role plays as kids.
And cartoon series Redwall has also inspired me into turning those role play days into actual stories.


Anyhow these characters where all teen based characters into party, sex, drugs, and also they were super heroes?! Yea, what kind of super hero does drugs, sex and party? well Teens I guess.
They were just average teens wanting an average life that they could not really have because they were in a secret organization taught to be spies/assassins and defenders from all evil on the world.
Anyhow I wanted to be like that; Live the good life and also be smart, strong, brave and wanted to help people from idiots that felt like they can kick others down because they were smaller or weaker, but I knew that was never going to be a reality, so I started writing.
I would write down all my story ideas down and then would start building up these novels and soon get more of these movies playing in my head, relevant to my stories. Eventually I wanted to make my stories into films and show the world what my stories meant to me and have helped me get by the tough realities of life, and how they can possibly mean something to someone else; I also began writing many poems and wanted to form a band and be a singer (it was one of my fantasy was to be a rock star) But I didn't have that in me; I can't sing, I had no rythemn with my monotone low stoner voice plus I had bad anxiety. ((Oh yea, I am still working on them stories. They'll be done... One day))
There came a point where I just did not know anymore what I wanted to do with my life, because I was a low life junkie going no where. At that time I blamed my illness, my living situation, my family and then I started blaming myself.
One of my dreams was to get far away from society and the bullshit and just go into the wood and travel all around the world, exploring nature and documenting/researching wildlife behaviors and even get to help them. (I have more of a connection, to animals than to human beings.. well not that I cannot connect with humans but I prefer to just connect with animals))
I envied them and there freedom they had, I knew they had to fight everyday for survival; to hunting there food, protecting there loved ones/family, defending territory.
Yet I felt like I should be doing the same thing in my life instead of being walked over by so many people and hiding behind closed doors from the world and just live in a dream.
So I took psychology and tried my best to find any way to building myself into doing that specific job, but it just sounded really ridiculously impossible for me to achieve.
Soon I started getting into working out and body building as a way to overcome my drug addictions and become more "Healthy"; I would use it as a way of releasing my aggression when lifting weights and soon I became to become massive and it didn't take long... Maybe it was my short stature? But people at the time thought I was Juicing so I wasn't sure if I should take that as a compliment or be insulted.
At that time I figured with all the energy I got from energy drinks, supplements, stamina, work outs ((I was literally like a fox with all that energy boost))
I could use it to be a speed boxer and become a professional boxer, as I found it to be one passion of mine to just step into the rink and dance around while releasing my aggression onto someone else that I always wanted to do. But I was too short and too light to be even put in the rink to compete... I was a joke.
So now I sit here on disability with so much time on my hand and still trying to get some shit job at mc dicks or walmart, but facing a on coming surgery I prob wont be able to work for a long time.
I keep having to fight alcoholism, drug abuse and just going crazy for just having so much time on my hand and no one to spend it with and feeling so useless. The only thing I have now is my artwork and my dreams which I am still fighting towards.
My current plan is to get out of this shit town as a start and relive my new live in Vancouver... again, and start up a paid under the desk free lance job of some sort or even help my boyfriend with his work for the time being so I am not at a total loss. Lol.


ANYHOW it would be interesting to hear and share your stories about your dreams and goals and how you plan on getting there.

[Renwaldo]

Oh jesus, thinking about my life's future always makes me depressed.  ???
pursuing my dreams and goals seemingly has an inevitability of me ending up with less than what I started with.

I'll settle with security over indulgence in terms of my future. It's better for us to learn our place in society, rather than hurting ourselves and those close to us.

[EmoFox]

but does it matter how much you have, so long as you're happy?
I'm sorry but your response seems so... wrong. It's like giving up before you even start. :x

I have lots of goals, and admitedly not all of them are realistic. I'm just meeting my first real goal; buying a car. w00t! i pick it up on Friday. :3

[JFoxx]

Yea I would have to agree with emofox on that one as well, it is hard to follow dreams and goals, but if you just give up, then your always going to find yourself in some miserable unhappy position in some job being bossed around to something you hardly take joy in.
I have been degraded a lot just job searching over my height, but of course they'd make up an excuse to saying "Well I am sorry but you just don't meet the standards and got that experience to work here" and then here I would say "Well, tell me something; How am I to get the experience to meet these standards if you wont even give me a chance to gain the experience" leaving the person interviewing me look stupid and could not even come up with anything, but just telling me the flat out truth he does0n't want me working here.
Its good to have a dream as a way to keep positive and focus on any way possible to make it come true... Although I have been kicked in the gutter numerous of times I am still forming plans for my future which is keeping me kinda positive like creating myself a purpose.
I am on disability planning on getting a crap job at walmart or anything I can get in vancouver. Even being a janitor just to make the extra qualified wage im allowed to make while on disability and on my spare times of this job I will also be planning to do some paid under the desk freelancing with art and I am thinking I might just learn and help my boyfriend with his cosmetic work doing makeup and such..
until I can save up enough money to think about going to the next level.
I will also still be following my dreams, in taking up boxing, playing piano and maybe try learning to sing on spare times, writing and drawing and just reading and researching on random stuff that interest me.
But yeayea the future doesn't have to be depressing I mean reality is just as depressing as is, so why add onto that negativity by giving up dreams and goals D=

[Brittany-shadowwolf]

My life future...
Well I have come a long way.
I use to work for Blockbuster, michaels, then this shitty music job where the boss was horrible to me and was very crazy and now I am a Bartender. I am trying to become a flair bartender. Good tips in bartending.
I am currently saving for school. I need about 15 grand. That cost includes the cost of equiptment needed.  Commercial animation is the course I will be taking. Once I'm in school I want to learn. One day graduate and become an animator or Concept artist.

Also, it would be nice to maybe find a Boyfriend at the school I am going to? haha, Someone I wont want to murder or get bored with in the first day.

Pretty much my hopes and dreams.

[minimoose1441]

My goals are basically all to do with aviation.
1: To get my gliders license before my drivers.
2: To get my pilots license before I age out of Cadets.
3: To get a career in aviation, hopefully military.
4: Become an expert on Adobe After Effects.
5: To learn to draw something other than stick figures... :P

All of those are short-term in the next 5 years or so, aside from maybe a career in aviation.

[JFoxx]

Haha nice, I always thought it'd be cool to fly a jet fighter in the military (I use to play alot of jet fighter games and be able to do these crazy tricks and such) but I am too afraid of heights in reality.
I use to draw pretty crappy and still do admittingly... I find it easier to pop in some good music and just draw along to it and don't plan your drawings, just let it come naturally, like draw something completely unusual and bizarre; abstract or surreal.
Drawing all kinds of lines,curves and shapes. and try exploring new media like paints and such.. art can be pretty fun!