Why furhouses fail, and what you can do about it.

[Ember]

Hey all,

I've been hearing a lot of talk recently about furs wanting to start up furhouses, and would like to make a general post outlining some of the things that you should know on the subject. I by no means know everything, and welcome anyone with input to reply to this thread. I especially welcome comments from people what have been, or currently are, involved with a furhouse.

First I should say that I've been living in a furhouse for about two years, that house being the Doghouse in Surrey. In my time here, I've seen a number of furhouses both local and international start and fall apart a short time later. I've also seen some great places. What separates the two is a small number of points.

In my opinion, the following are required for the longevity of any shared residence.


1) Everyone needs to be financially stable.
Nothing will make a house fall apart faster that people being unable to pay rent, or bills. Making sure that everyone involved has the means to afford the place is very important.

2) Everyone needs to be able to handle conflicts in an adult manner.
There will be conflicts in any shared living accommodation, ranging from minor issues to potentially large ones. If just one person takes a childish mentality, then you can have a small problem turn into a huge one.

3) A responsible person needs to be the head of the household.
This person will be the leader of the house, his/her words will count for more than other peoples in certain aspects. He will make decisions on certain topics, getting the final say on some conflicts. This person will need to be someone that everyone trusts, and this person will be taking on additional stress.

4) Once your place is up and running, you are no longer friends. You are family.
You will be looked to by your room mates to offer emotional support and advice on topics that you know about. Chances are good that you wont always get along or see eye to eye on every subject. Recognize that your role has changed in these peoples lives. Realize that conflicts are not personal, and just because someone disagrees with you it doesn't mean that they dislike you.

5) Anti-social people will be miserable living at a furhouse.
Not always true, but for the most part. By their very definition, anti-social people don't like being around a lot of people. Why they insist on moving into a furhouse where they will be surrounded by people at all times is beyond me, but it happens with alarming frequency. If you are an established furhouse, don't let anti-social people move in. They will not last long.

6) Common areas need to be kept reasonably clean, broken things need to be fixed
Operating under the Broken Windows Theory ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_windows_theory ) the more messy it is, and the more broken things are, the less likely people are to care and the more likely it is for it to get messier and more broken.

7) Get to know people and possibly hang out with them before moving in (Zynthos)
You don't just move in by with people by knowing them online and whatnot. Get to know them irl, hang out, talk face to face etc and if they don't seem like good company at first don't just give up on first impression take your time to know them better most people act differently when in a household and when out in public.


Again, I welcome comments/critiques, especially from people who know what they are talking about. If you have lived in a furhouse, or currently do, please include that information in your post so people can tell who speaks from experience.

[Ember]

Benefits of living in a furhouse.


1) Rent is cheap. Bills are cheap.
As all the bills are split a number of ways, they work out much cheaper than living on your own. You and a group of friends can get a decent place, each of you paying $300-$500 a month on rent.

2) Furhouses are social
You'll always have room mates to hang out with/do stuff with. You'll also have a furfriendly place to invite people over to. If you have managed to rent out an entire house, you can be louder as you don't share walls with neighbors. You get to meet friends of friends of friends and will always have new people to meet and get to know.

3) You get to see your friends every day!
Not always a good thing though!

4) You will find out a bit about what being an adult means
You just will ;)

[Zythren]

Even if it's for furhouses, this is really good advice for any shared space. Thanks. Me and my friends were planning to move in sometime soon =]

[EmoFox]

expanding on #6, DON'T rent a shitty little slum house. because if things are broken when you move in, it doesn't go well.

I would also suggest some sort of interhouse lease to make sure people don't walk out on you. or worse, walk out on you and find their replacement for you.

[Neox]

Good call on posting this.  I've never actually known anyone in a furhouse but I now know they exist!

I think the biggest issue on why many of these would fall apart, as you say, is because I can see people trying this sort of thing out under the wrong motives.  Are you moving in with these people to take advantage of sharing the bills and chores so each individual has to pay less and handles less of the overall work while maintaining a tolerable living environment?  Or are you moving in with these people simply because you think it'd be cool to live with a bunch of your fellow furries?  The former should be your absolute #1 priority for wanting to share a living-space with anyone, furry, best friend or otherwise; your dreams of fun times and fursuit parties need to be secondary.  Renting/owning a house is serious business, no matter which way you look at it.

[Torwin]

I would also suggest some sort of interhouse lease to make sure people don't walk out on you. or worse, walk out on you and find their replacement for you.

Interhouse lease agreements don't work, because no one is in a leading position to deal with the problems quickly and efficiently, The Doghouse is leased by myself and Jessie T. Wolf, Rooms are sub rented from us at an individual room rate that includes a bathroom, Kitchen and livingroom for each floor of the house.

It works so well for the Doghouse because your living space is only shared by 2-3 other people in the common areas, even though there are 7-8 residents in the house as a whole

Every house needs a person in a position of authority to have the final say in matters  :)

The proof is in the pudding, so to speak :P

Cheers

~Tor~

[Ember]

@Naetholix


You kind of need a mix of both types of people. You need some people who are fun to be around, people who will make sure that there is stuff to do. If your house is boring then people will lose interest. Personally, I mainly moved into this place for the funtimes/parties and the social opportunities afforded to me. I'm the more wild one in the house, but it works well because I have responsible people to pull the reigns in if need be.

They appreciate (I hope!) that I introduce more fun into their lives, and I appreciate that they make sure I still have a place to live next month :)

[EmoFox]

Interhouse lease agreements don't work, because no one is in a leading position to deal with the problems quickly and efficiently, The Doghouse is leased by myself and Jessie T. Wolf, Rooms are sub rented from us at an individual room rate that includes a bathroom, Kitchen and livingroom for each floor of the house.

It works so well for the Doghouse because your living space is only shared by 2-3 other people in the common areas, even though there are 7-8 residents in the house as a whole

Every house needs a person in a position of authority to have the final say in matters  :)

The proof is in the pudding, so to speak :P

Cheers

~Tor~

what you explained is exactly what i had in mind. :p

[AMZinthos]

Could you be more specific on #5 ?

I really want to partake in a furhouse sometime in the future however right now I have social difficulties, I wouldn't call it anti-socialism but I'm just hard to get along with others until I'm used to them. So basically what I'm asking is if the first impression isn't very social but in the long run it gets better does that first impression cause a problem or is it the general behavior afterwards that matters most ?

........And after some quick thought I just realized if you think of #2 Someone judging another by their first impression would be rather childish and not handling the situation well at all. So instead of a question I guess you can consider this a #7

7) Get to know people and possibly hang out with them before moving in
You don't just move in by with people by knowing them online and whatnot. Get to know them irl, hang out, talk face to face etc and if they don't seem like good company at first don't just give up on first impression take your time to know them better most people act differently when in a household and when out in public.

[zenia]

I agree with your #7 Zin. Many people will put on a false face for meetings just to be sure they will get in. I had a couple of roommates turn out MUCH different than they presented themselves when we had met and if I had known more about their real personalities, I wouldn't have let them move in.

As for the anti-social... *shrugs* It isn't always the worst thing. Personally, I like hanging out in my room, alone with the door shut. But that is just most of the time. I do like opening the door and chatting with my roommates a little.

Definitely make sure than any house rules and division of chores is solid and consequences are FIRM. Right now I am dealing with my roommates who are still a little irresponsible and don't help clean up at all. I've made countless 'guidelines' to stick on the fridge and they always agree, but never follow through. It is getting ridiculous... but I am not the "House Mother" type, so I don't know what to do about it.

[EmoFox]

@zenia lock up all your cooking stuff/food, etc. if they can't clean up after themselves they can't use your stuff, :p

[AMZinthos]

It is getting ridiculous... but I am not the "House Mother" type, so I don't know what to do about it.

Show them your raep faise

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5885909/

:thumbs: :angel:

[zenia]

lock up all your cooking stuff/food, etc. if they can't clean up after themselves they can't use your stuff, :p

I might start. My stuff can fit into the pantry (that is all for me) and I can lock it up. I would hate to do it, but if they can't get their acts together. >___<

[Sairys]

@Naetholix


You kind of need a mix of both types of people. You need some people who are fun to be around, people who will make sure that there is stuff to do. If your house is boring then people will lose interest. Personally, I mainly moved into this place for the funtimes/parties and the social opportunities afforded to me. I'm the more wild one in the house, but it works well because I have responsible people to pull the reigns in if need be.

They appreciate (I hope!) that I introduce more fun into their lives, and I appreciate that they make sure I still have a place to live next month :)

of course we appreciate having you live with us ember :) there been many fun times.