Dating, Maturity, and Family. PLEASE HELP ME!!

[OhThatBrad]

So.. I'm 16, as most of you do know.
I've recently started dating a boy, he's really sweet and everything.
It's pretty awesome.

He's 19, which normally would be a little weird for me but he's really cool, so anyways...
Lately i've been hanging out with him a lot, and i'd lie to my aunt /whom i currently live with/ about it.

Well tonight she found out and we had a big arguemental talk about the entire thing..
So she's pretty pissed and says i can't go to his house anymore, and that she no longer trusts me, and that i'm not allowed to date someone at the age of 19...

I really think i'm mature enough to handle dating someone,
I'm not stupid, and i'm quite street smart...

So I'm really upset about this entire thing, i literally want to just cry right now..
So i'm being forced to call my father and ask him about it, and idk what to do.. My dad is slightly homophobic and everything..
I just want to GTFO and live on my own, being a kid is the epitome of pain.


What should i do?!
I need some form of support or somthing .. V_v thanks for reading~

[Kell]

I was dating a 19 year old when I was fifteen, I know how... horribly that information can go over with parents, guardians, friends, and others that worry for you.

Your best bet is to go with the new rule, don't go to his house, not for a while anyway. Bring him there. Let your aunt see that he isn't some creeper, that he is a normal enough guy and they you get along well. If, for whatever reason, thats not an option, the WORST thing you can do is make a huge deal about it, yell scream and fight about it, right now. If you want your aunt, and father, to think your mature enough to handle a nineteen year old boyfriend, you need to show that, and accepting a rule and trying to find ways to make things work is your best bet at doing that easily.

As for dealing with your father... Slightly homophobic or not, he IS your father, and hopefully, he will be understanding. Does he already know your gay? I can't be sure, he could be an asshole, but I have found in the past that a lot of the 'omfg my parents will hate me cause I'm gay' is in peoples heads. Save of course a few cases involving asshole parents. You know your Dad, you can judge that better than I can. However, the same advice goes with him as with your aunt. Be mature, be understanding, calm, and think before you speak.

If all else fails, surely your aunt can't control every bit of your life, and assuming you share common friends, you might have to deal with seeing him very little, just doing things with others while he is there, movies, the like. You seem to have computer access, which means you should be able to stay in touch.

Do yourself a favor. Don't fight and cry and yell. Chances are, if she is at all a good person and actually cares about you, she is far more upset about you lieing to her, and worried about his age, than she is about you dating and such. So be mature, do what you have to do and wait it out. Whatever you do, don't sneak out and see him without permission, lie to her about anything, or otherwise break her rules. That will just make her think you arn't mature enough for a 19 year old.

[OhThatBrad]

I was dating a 19 year old when I was fifteen, I know how... horribly that information can go over with parents, guardians, friends, and others that worry for you.

Your best bet is to go with the new rule, don't go to his house, not for a while anyway. Bring him there. Let your aunt see that he isn't some creeper, that he is a normal enough guy and they you get along well. If, for whatever reason, thats not an option, the WORST thing you can do is make a huge deal about it, yell scream and fight about it, right now. If you want your aunt, and father, to think your mature enough to handle a nineteen year old boyfriend, you need to show that, and accepting a rule and trying to find ways to make things work is your best bet at doing that easily.

As for dealing with your father... Slightly homophobic or not, he IS your father, and hopefully, he will be understanding. Does he already know your gay? I can't be sure, he could be an asshole, but I have found in the past that a lot of the 'omfg my parents will hate me cause I'm gay' is in peoples heads. Save of course a few cases involving asshole parents. You know your Dad, you can judge that better than I can. However, the same advice goes with him as with your aunt. Be mature, be understanding, calm, and think before you speak.

If all else fails, surely your aunt can't control every bit of your life, and assuming you share common friends, you might have to deal with seeing him very little, just doing things with others while he is there, movies, the like. You seem to have computer access, which means you should be able to stay in touch.

Do yourself a favor. Don't fight and cry and yell. Chances are, if she is at all a good person and actually cares about you, she is far more upset about you lieing to her, and worried about his age, than she is about you dating and such. So be mature, do what you have to do and wait it out. Whatever you do, don't sneak out and see him without permission, lie to her about anything, or otherwise break her rules. That will just make her think you arn't mature enough for a 19 year old.

wow... yeah thank you, she said that instead of going there i should go out to eat and stuff.. but i'm stll in trouble and whatnot, and my dad knows im gay, he's just... meh about it... i hope things go over well, i really like this guy and i don't want anything bad to happen... but she doesn't know i'm dating him, is the issue... I lied about that and she thinks we're just friends.. xD

[Kell]

Try to have him around her, have him over to watch movies, have dinner, whatever.

Let her get to know him.

"Hey, I'm dating this 19 year old guy" Sounds scary as hell coming from a 16 year old.

"Hey... umm... I didn't know how to tell you before, but [dudes name here] isn't JUST my friend..." is notably less likely to result in screaming and the words, "Your not seeing him anymore!"

[OhThatBrad]

Try to have him around her, have him over to watch movies, have dinner, whatever.

Let her get to know him.

"Hey, I'm dating this 19 year old guy" Sounds scary as hell coming from a 16 year old.

"Hey... umm... I didn't know how to tell you before, but [dudes name here] isn't JUST my friend..." is notably less likely to result in screaming and the words, "Your not seeing him anymore!"

Yeah.. i should hope not.
I really like him. My dad might be more understanding...
If i had the money i'd just gtfo and live with one of my friends.. but sadly. :/

[Kell]

Oh, and a disclaimer.

Just be careful.

Don't get all wrapped up in havin a new boy toy and overlook downsides and issues. He is older and thats not a bad thing... but I have seen a lot of 'wonderful older guys' turn out badly...

So, be careful.

And do not, dooooo nooooot, move out of a comfortable, managable home when its not a good idea to be with him. Trust me. Don't do it. :P

[OhThatBrad]

Oh, and a disclaimer.

Just be careful.

Don't get all wrapped up in havin a new boy toy and overlook downsides and issues. He is older and thats not a bad thing... but I have seen a lot of 'wonderful older guys' turn out badly...

So, be careful.

And do not, dooooo nooooot, move out of a comfortable, managable home when its not a good idea to be with him. Trust me. Don't do it. :P

ahaha.. I know.. it's just frustrating, up until now my life has been this fucking unorthodox twister of and love and hate,
I've never been able to sit down and have a stable home or family life, I've always considered suicide, and now i meet this great guy and my family has to go out of there way and feign to care about me, when they just want to see my unhappy.. >_>

[Kell]

Trust me.

Families that want to see you unhappy, don't have a roof over your head and have MUCH better ways to do it than saying you can't go over to your boyfriends house. :P

Enjoy what you have, I hope it works out, but if you have had a rotten time, thats all the more reason to not over-look glaring flaws for the joy of having somebody...

Then again, overlooking glaring flaws for the sake of having somebody can be fine... long as the flaws are things like... say, a bad habbit of breaking into song and dance in public. You can overlook that one if you must...

But in two years, when he is dancing thriller in the mall, and you end up in the back of a cop car, don't come cryin to me. I warned you...

I warned you...

[Sairys]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

[OhThatBrad]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

oh do you? how so?

[Sairys]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

oh do you? how so?

just a hunch is all I get them all the time
cute? yes
Local? Yes
furry? most likely
Rl name starts with:  O?

[OhThatBrad]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

oh do you? how so?

just a hunch is all I get them all the time
cute? yes
Local? Yes
furry? most likely
Rl name starts with:  O?

o.o... who are you?

[Sairys]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

oh do you? how so?

just a hunch is all I get them all the time
cute? yes
Local? Yes
furry? most likely
Rl name starts with:  O?

o.o... who are you?

I'm assuming from the shocked emoticon I'm correct *chuckles* Im just a local wolf is all

[OhThatBrad]

yeah dont jump ship to move in with him right away those types of decisions mostly end up back firing in some sort of way. Do some dating let your aunt get to know him as a friend and if she likes him perhaps introduce him as your bf/mate.

p.s. I have a sneaking hunch who this guy is ;)

oh do you? how so?

just a hunch is all I get them all the time
cute? yes
Local? Yes
furry? most likely
Rl name starts with:  O?

o.o... who are you?

I'm assuming from the shocked emoticon I'm correct *chuckles* Im just a local wolf is all

but... how did you guess him?

[Kell]

Well, either he is a ninja. He has been stalking you for the past few weeks...

Or... maybe the furry community aint really all that big and there can only be so many local furs that suddenly have new boyfriends to line up with you having a boyfriend? Only so many of THOSE can be 19, gay, cute, and local.