Meetup Organization Advice!

[RangerRivet]

I'm not gonna mention any specifics or names, because that's sure to cause some problems somewhere. But lets just say I went to a meetup and it was a disaster. I was assured as an 18 year old I could get in to the place, but turns out I couldn't. Then it turns out I could AFTER ALL if I had just sat down without saying anything, I wouldn't have gotten ID'd unless I bought booze. Then there was another one nearby. Turns out they went to the same place i couldn't get in to, and I had no idea until I had already made my way towards their place. This is NOT to call them out, they know who they are already. BUT MY POINT IS:

Always be sure to be considerate and respectful to your fellow furries' needs. That was very frustrating and upsetting, and a big waste of time, and all of it could have been avoided through more consideration and cooperation. A minor wants to join you at a pub, bar, or otherwise questionable place? Make sure you know whether or not they can get in, and what the circumstances of that are. Was there a change of plans in your meetup? Tell the people who showed interest, even if they haven't arrived yet. Most importantly, always be respectful and accountable, and own up if you do manage to screw up. Saying sorry is great and all, but accountability is far better. Not just accountability, but even compensation if you feel it necessary. People will occasionally screw up, and those affected will be upset, but if you are accountable and responsible, they may respect you despite that.

If you have anything to add or anything to correct, please let me know! Same with if you have any concerns.

Before anyone asks, I will not be providing any identities. If the one(s) that screwed up would like to make themselves known, that's their choice, but I don't wanna cause any fights here. I just wanna make sure we make meetups more enjoyable for furs, especially newcomers like myself.

[Gizmo]

I clearly am aware of the event to which you refer.
Firstly, I do not make up the liquor laws of British Columbia. If I did, they would be significantly different than the archaic laws we have to deal with now.
Secondly, it is the prerogative of the bar management to allow - or not allow - people into his/her establishment.
Thirdly, I am sorry that you feel that you have been slighted in some way by the event or myself. I only post the event and chose the location. If you read the full posting for this event, you will see that we typically meet upstairs at the tea shop prior to going down to the pub. It might have been a good idea to attend that and ask questions there since you seem to be a bit confused about your eligibility of attending this event. At the very least, you would have been able to enjoy a nice cup of tea and have good conversation with some furries.
Lastly, if you want me to apologize for your not legally being able to attend this event, then I am sorry. Part of the charm of this event is that we are all adults and behave that way. This post of yours clearly defines your maturity level. Perhaps, in the amount of time it takes for you to turn 19, there will be some growth on your behalf and you will gain the ability to read and understand the rules of any event you chose to attend. When that happens, you are always welcome to join us adults in an adult environment - to get to know the community.
I have been a part of the furry community now for about 5 years and would never assume that I am the 'be all and end all' of the community. I will say tho, I am 'fairly' well involved & connected to this community and posting as you did (being your first event and all) is NOT the way to win friends and influence people.
The Vancouver furry community has MANY events for minors. If you read the forum calendar, you will see there are many events for underage furries to attend. I suggest you look into those and also suggest that you read the rules of that event.
I cannot speak for the organizer of the 'other' event you speak of however, generally speaking, the attendees of that event attend 'Wings & Things' prior to meeting at the other location. Since this would have been your first attempt to go this this event, I might suggest you contact the organizer (he is a VERY easy person to contact - as the moderator (he most likely will be reviewing all of these posts, btw) of this forum) and suggest that you would like to attend. I am sure he would have filled you in on the process and procedure of attending his event. Just 'showing up' seems a bit irresponsible on your behalf.
I would hate this experience to taint your perspective on a great community. We are all (for the most part) really good people and (some more than others) easy to get along with. I strongly suggest you make another attempt at being a part of it. If you need further assistance doing so, please let me know and I would be happy to help introduce you to some great people!
I hope this helps more than hurts ...

Gizmo ...

[RangerRivet]

Actually, I already asked a few times that I would be allowed inside, and was assured "yes, you would". This was poor planning / communication, I got heavily shafted, and whether or not this is partially my fault, I don't appreciate you turning this into "Hey, OP, here's why you're immature and unwelcome to hang out with us". That doesn't help anything, it does not accomplish any purpose. It only makes me far more frustrated, especially since you are making assumptions like "Oh, you just showed up without contacting anyone" which is not the case, "oh, you didn't read the rules" which is not the case, and "oh, you just didn't bother meeting up beforehand" which is also not the case, I do not know the area at all and got lost.

If your main concern is not how I feel, how others may feel in the future (the point of this post), or how you can better improve an event, that is not very accountable or respectful, it is rude. You ask that I give this another chance, but if I don't even know you and you're already insulting me, I don't really see a reason to join, I only see more hostility waiting to happen. Have a good day, I would ask you not reply again unless it is to apologize or provide better advice than you have so far. Again, please respect the point of this post - to improve future events so this does not happen again.

Edit 1: Minor rewording.
Edit 2: More rewording. =P

[Sasha]

Just some of a tiger's opinions:

I don't believe his view of your maturity level is an insult, maturity does not come with age however, and he is probably just heavily summarising. I was not there this time, but I thought the laws allowed a minor accompanied by an adult to sit and eat at a pub, much like an adult getting a drink at any restaurant, but maybe because there were many drinking there and it was clear we were there to drink it was something the staff saw as a no-no? In my noggin, if I were a minor, I'd either call ahead to ask, or go in and I'd order just food and not worry about ID unless I was ID'd if the pub didn't say 19+ at the door and such, but I'd probably wager to myself there might be an issue with the amount of people who may come if I was one.

I do not know the area at all and got lost.

You did more than most, finding it on your own, and I think you'd serve better dropping a little guard and asking for a little help such as meeting at the mall nearby since most come from those parts. It's not as dangerous as you seem to think, life has many compromises between freedom and the former.

Although reaching out to the community after is a step in maturity, if you read over your post I believe you overblew what is essentially assumptions of both sides, honest mistakes on a grey-area matter, and also a lot of unknowns as I don't think the event-goers knew exactly what to suggest or how to handle the case of a minor joining with little info/time. We're not all lawyers or devote time to solving odd cases, but if you reach out beforehand, it is a lot easier for us to be understanding and do what we can. The community has great help for each other, as a whole, for what little each one can do for another.

Sasha~

[RangerRivet]

I think you'd serve better dropping a little guard and asking for a little help such as meeting at the mall nearby since most come from those parts.

I guess I didn't make it clear enough, but I was too late to have met up with anybody beforehand. Judging by how little people cared to help, though, I'd say I wasn't missing out on any opportunities in that respect.

In my noggin, if I were a minor, I'd either call ahead to ask, or go in and I'd order just food and not worry about ID unless I was ID'd if the pub didn't say 19+ at the door and such

I did call ahead. Multiple times. "Oh, yeah, yeah, you're fine" was the response each time. Nobody got off their ass to check with the bartender. Multiple hours of my time could have been saved if someone else had sacrificed a single minute.

As for just going in and ordering food, it DID say 19+ at the door. That's why I sent in my friend to ask, I didn't want to get into trouble. People were saying "just go on in and order food" but I'm not about to do that if the first thing I see is a "19+, 2 pieces of ID required" sign.

Furthermore, I may have been willing to give it another shot. But the lack of accountability, followed by "hey, I have no concept what happened, but regardless here's why it's completely your fault" destroys any chances I have of wanting to come back. Honestly, I was not expecting a response like that at all. In any case, yeah, I overreacted, and yeah, both parties could have handled this better. However, that does not mean somebody can start ripping on me for being understandably upset when he has no idea what happened.

Again, I take this more harshly than I should. Yet that should warrant some sort of concern for my feelings, no?

I'll leave it at that, any further risks flamewar and post removal. ANYWAYS, the point of this thread remains the same. Think and organize.

Edit: More content I failed to address

[Wereman]

Thank you for sharing this, admittedly I had similar situations outside of the furry community, where I have felt not to be treated fairly. You get upset about it and voice your opinion. As you have, the best approach is to express your opinion and bring a suggestion on the table.

It is always advised to contact organizers in advance should any concerns arise about anything. Do so in the days before attending the event. It is unfortunate you have had a bad experience in the first time and it may be a miscommunication from the attendee and the organizer. Lesson learned I do hope you come to terms with the incident.

Best is to ask more Avoid taking things for granted, double up on everything which can be a pain at times.

[RangerRivet]

I made up with the host of the secondary event. I went to him and apologized, because that's the mature thing to do. Whether or not that fixes everything I don't know. However, I still have crossed Wings n Things of my meetup list. Instead you can find me at the sushi meetup, I had fun there.