fur meets in vancouver?

[wolfyy]

This is to see how many of u want to start up a weekly fur meet where drama is left at the door? Now don't get hasty pls.

[tokar]

it might get checked at the door but someone always wants to sneak a little in.  like that family that just had to have a cigarette on a 3 hour flight.  hadn't they heard of nicorette or the patch?

[Sasha]

I wonder what kind of meets there can be that are new and fresh. It is nice to have some regular events that are themed.

* TigerKindred checks "yes"

Tigerface.

[wolfyy]

This is good ideas. Give more ideas.

[RaiinyCiity]

I'd love to meet some of y'all and have some nice clean fun, get to know the community ;o Laser-tag or Park Days? I mean, once the weather gets nicer

[wolfyy]

Ya lazer tag and park days would be awesome. I could make 3bags of pb and j sandwiches. Ppls could help bring food for park day.

[RaiinyCiity]

Yeah :D very much down, could be the Park-a-Pic-a-Nic day or something ;v potluck + park fun!

[Aleria]

When the cherry blossoms start blooming I was thinking of having a "Hanamachi" which is a flower-viewing picnic. Queen Elizabeth Park is really beautiful at that time of year (and fairly transit accessible)

[Star Wonder]

For the poll you have up:

There is no such thing as Drama-free. All communities and groups have it. Yes everyone can use less of it. However when someone really needs a friend or something and they learn to follow people, such as going to a furmeet, and want to have company, whatever drama is following them will come to the meets and cons and everything else. The term "Misery loves Company" is very true. I think it's also unfair to tell people "If you have issues don't come because we don't want someone crying, or screaming or causing problems." Because EVERYONE has some problem. Either they have an issue with another person, with a topic, they are drunk, they have mental issues (Autism, etc). I think what should happen is people that go to fur meets, and are known to cause problems, and the SAME problems, should be handled and dealt with privately or everyone should try and help change the outcome. If someone shows up drunk to every meet and causes issues, I can totally see ultimatums happening for people like that. But for emotional drama, there isn't much anyone can do. Asking if there should be drama or not is like asking every person to hold in their personal problems if they decide to come. Some people need to be surrounded by others to feel better. Yes I agree that fur meets shouldn't be where they dump problems, or cause them. But some people haven't got any friends or family to help them. If someone comes to a fur meet to sit in the corner, upset, I am usually a person that goes over to them and tries to include them in something or talk to them. I have had lots of problems where people have issues with others at a meet, and it came down to a simple "Can you put away your anger with the person enough to stand in the same room to have fun with people you like that has nothing to do with the person you don't like?" If the answer is no, then yeah, someone should stay home. I always seem to find that at meets there are a few people that are enemies. But only one of the two actually have enough issues to cause problems. The other person just ignores the one that wants to cause or has some deep drama welling inside. The grown up thing to do is take a breath and think.

Also, people fight, private or public. And as nice as it is to ask people to leave their drama at the door, some people need help and can't ask for it or don't know how. I know several people that have done this and I have helped or others have helped out and pushed the drama aside.

Every community has drama. You can't run from human nature. Even animals have drama. But we have the ability to breathe and think about our actions (most of us anyway.)

The most you can say honestly, is that anyone that causes trouble should have a warning system. The first is get a warning, then get kicked out of the current meet, then banned from future meets. It's quick, easy.
However! With NEW furs it is even harder to get rid of drama. Why? Because new people usually mean they have not been in the community very long or are only part of the fandom or are not furries or part of the fandom but  still are supporters. I have watched time and time again where people BULLY non-furs and tell them they need to become furry. And not just friendly banter either. New people need special treatment and it's up to those that who are not new that they need to steer things.
When I host Fur meets I expect every fur and non-fur to respect each other and their decisions. I expect people to respect those that are either in the furry community or fandom.
If it's people that are not new causing problems, they need to be talked to. And New people need to be educated as well: This is not a drama-free community or fandom. I watch people "quit being a furry" or "quit the fandom" because of the drama. But no matter what fandom or community they drop into there is ALWAYS the same amount of drama. Just on different causes and issues.

For new people, I agree they should be introduced gently. As with ANY community. And not be pressured or pushed or bullied or have to witness a ton of drama. BUT... the reality is it DOES happen. It WILL happen at some point.

You could have a no-tolerance policy if you are hosting your own fur meets as well.

The person hosting is also responsible for what happens. It's up to them to make a safe, happy environment for new and old members of the community and/or fandom. It is up to them to make sure they are on top of any drama and get everything settled. They need to get their hands dirty. Heck, create time-outs if you need. But hopefully people will be mature enough to calm down and stop what they are doing.

I agree on new people or old people to meets or the community or fandom should never have to deal with drama. Especially at fur meets. But there is so much more involved in it than just "leave your issues at the door." Hell some people that don't know anything about furries might be the cause of drama to new furs. And scare them away. We need to stand up for each other, help each other, and understand Drama isn't going away but it can be helped, solved and taken care of in many, many ways.

[Silvermink]

Well said. Suggesting that "drama be left at the door" isn't a very useful statement. Where there are people - and we want there to be people, right? - there is often drama. The question is whether it's dealt with appropriately and not allowed to take over and result in people having a rotten time.

[tokar]

RE: Drama     i was in a bar one night talking to someone i knew.  someone i did not like came over and talked to the person i was talking to.  when he left i said in that tone of dislike ..... "you like him?" and my friend said in return,  "my relationship with him is not your relationship with him."  since then i have tried to accept the choice of the host to invite anyone they choose into their home, and i will not cause drama in his home.  if i get upset enough i will leave before the drama starts or if it has started, gets out of hand.  it is my problem and not everyone else's.

if you are invited to a party or an event and you know that someone you do not like will be there, you have three choices.  first is not to go and stay home and sulk about not going.  this helps nobody.  second is to go and stay on the opposite side of the room, totally avoiding the one you don't like.  if someone you do like is on the other side of the room you lose out because you are too into the drama to go and meet the one you do like just to avoid the one you do not like.  third is to mingle all over but try not to talk to the one you don't like but if you have to, just be cordial and respect the host.  this way you will get invited back to other parties and events.  maybe you and the one you don't like will even resolve your problems.

as for furs hassling non-furs, respect the host.  you have friends that are not furs that may have come out to an event.  are they now furs?  maybe, maybe not, but if they are not, why not?  they went to an event so they must now be.  that is like saying that if a straight friend of yours joins you at a a gay bar then they must now be gay. bull feathers.  you are who you are and they are who they are.  if you have similar interests then that is good.  if you support each other in what you each do, then that is good too.

there are some people that you may see online but never in person. it is possible that they abused the privilege of being a guest so now they never get invited to join in at parties.  how can you be a part of a community when the community doesn't want you to participate?

bottom line is simple.  respect the event location, the home and the guests of the host.  don't let your drama ruin the fun of the others in attendance.

[Ceowolf]

hit the nail on the head there star, cant agree more.

Ive come to events to feel better sure i bring my drama with me but i consider the people around me and keep it to myself unless they want to talk with me about it. cause sometimes all you need is someone who wont judge and listen to you.

One of my big rules is to consider the people around you, if its not appropriate, don't do it. and as tokar's friend said "my relationship with him is not your relationship with him."

on a lighter note i like the idea of park days, heck i still go mess around at parks X3 seems more of a summery kinda event though so what would we do during the winter season?

[Temrin]

Very much agreed. Star, thanks for the great post! ^_^

It all comes down to just being mature enough to live and let live. Plenty of people dont get along, doesnt mean you cannot be civil or even in time, forgive them if you can. Being angry at someone takes to much effort and is draining when it comes to your own personal happiness. If you have a problem with someone, then dont interact with them when you can help it. If you must, be courtious. Its all you can do. As stated above by multiple people, if its bugging you that much, then leave.  :)

There will always be drama no matter where you go, how you respond to it and deal with it is what defines you. Deal with it in a mature manner and you will be respected. : )

[RaiinyCiity]

Yeah,  alllllllllll this^ exactly .___. I mean, I'm a people person and I love people, but to find my way back into an already established fandom on my own seems daunting indeed :x I had one person I know who was willing to break me into the fandom, but as of late I don't think that's going to happen, roarrr. So that coupled by a few bad experiences with the crowd [the drama and slander on me and others] and you've got yourself one very reclusive and wary drake. I'd love to get into the fandom but I lack the means.. Anyone wanna make friends with a shy new dragon n help him open up a little? I'll reward you with friendship and uh, rubies! Lots of rubies and gems.

Regardless, yeah, if you don't agree with someone just don't involve yourself with them. It's easier than you think. Frankly it's not worth it for the entire group if the base-vibe of the meet is your drama. I've seen it cause way too much hassle for, well, really all that amounts to somebody getting to think they're better than somebody else. I mean we all lie, we all do it, we all like to feel better than somebody, but among us furs? We're supposed to be together as one, you know?

Leave it at the door, or if you bring it in with you, keep it to yourself and only yourself, nobody wants to hear it :v

[Gizmo]

getting back to the original topic of this post: Fur Meets in Vancouver ...
Perhaps resounding support for the ones we have might be order? There ARE fur meets already happening in Vancouver. More would be awesome, but if we spread ourselves too thin, we won't have ANY fur meets in Vancouver. My two nickels (since there are no more pennies)