"Hate" in the furry fandom

[H u nn Y]

There's lots of word going around about other furries and it seems mostly nowadays it's only because someome is not liked or hated by people in the fandom. Why does this happen and what exactly did the person do to you??? I'm not targetting anybody personally but just in general it's still considered a form of bullying if that person did NOT do anything against you in ANY way or means possible. I also don't want to single anybodu out or leave people out, but when I hear from someone who's close to me and means a lot to me, hear that people are being mean to him I tend to worry and wonder what exactly did he do to you to deserve the hate??? It kind of upsets me that he doesn't get treated nicely when he's just trying to be nice to you back...

[Temrin]

Its not just the fandom. Its humanity. Humanity has a hate problem.

Mind you some people do things and dont understand why people get upset at them for it. (sometimes even if they are told) You are only getting one side of the story and possibly not all of it. So who knows! Its up to people to communicate with one another and figure things out. Its when people start assuming the situation and whos right/wrong in the situation. -shrugs- Theres not much you can do about it unless the person talks with the person who's making them feel bad and figure it out. Otherwise sometimes you just have to forget about those people and move on. There will always be haters.

[H u nn Y]

Yes, that is true, Temrin but in most cases it is hard for the person to approach the group or person who hates them because they are afraid of more drama coming up. In most cases, other friends influence their friends on opinions of other people and thats another way of hating someone without having something dome against them, and thats what bothers me 3: if they cant enjoy themself when they go out to fur events, it upsets me to see how upset they are.
): *sniffle*

[Nibi]

The best way to deal with hate is, simply put, is to ignore it and accept it's just going to happen.

I had been bullied since I was in elementary school until after high school and this is exactly how I got through it and it worked really well. When they don't have an anchor, something to latch onto, they can't bother you as easily. If you ignore them, don't talk to them or about them, what do they have to go off about besides looks? Eventually they _will_ get bored because they're getting nothing out of you and leave you alone. Now of course, if they touch you or your friends physically, it's best not to ignore it then because that's a whole different story. But if it's verbal, just don't give them something to talk about.

When it's group related where one person wants to hang out and have fun but certain individuals are making that difficult, it's best just to show everybody how mature you are. Really go out there and show everybody who you really are. People always judge, I do it, you do it, it's what makes us human, something we're just meant to do. But that's where the fun part comes in, is to get people to really see you for who you are. Once those people know you by your actions and your actual personality and experience from being around you, they won't fall as easily for the bullshit others say about you. Also, stay mature as in keep your cool and don't fall for their traps. Don't over react and cause drama. This will make people look at you in a new light and they'll have less respect for the bullies for being over dramatic(and maybe that may cause them to smarten up?).

Not sure if any of this helps, but yeah, thar ya go. ;P

[Temrin]

I second Nibi's post with the bullying part. Unfortunately, it happens. It happened to me all throughout elementary and highschool. Mind you, some of the things were my own fault, a lot of them were hate for no reason. Not all people will like a person. There are harsh realities to humanity. So if a person doesnt like a person, oh well! Ignore them and move on. They are obviously not worth the time. Yes it is hard to approach people who don't like you, but sometimes, in a community like ours, it can help at least put things in perspective if the person, or a third party, asks why they don't like a person. -shrugs- Get things figured out. As i mentioned in the previous post, much of the time, in my own findings, even when you tell someone what they did to make you dislike them, they wont understand it or incessantly bitch and whine about how they don't know why this person doesn't like them, when it was told to them why. So at this point, they start harming their own image but not manning up and dealing with the problem.

Well think about it this way Hunny, When someone does something bad to your friend, you'd feel apprehensive about the person who did it wouldnt you? You might not hate them, but you'd be wary of that person for their bad behavior or whatever it was that they did to your friend. As well, people normally dont dislike someone without reason. You might want to find out the reason behind why your friend isnt liked by some people. What did they do that made the first person upset with them? Or even a few people upset with them. To be unbiased in the situation, you need to know both sides of the story before any of it will make sense.

I also agree with Nibi when they state showing how mature you are towards the other people. I find in this community, immaturity doesnt get treated very well. The rest of Nibi's post is very well said. So props to you Nibi.

[Tef]

Here's a rather umbrella statement I have to make. Temrin's true. It's not just the furry fandom, it's humanity as a whole.

If hate doesn't exist, then how can love be defined and understood?

[Neox]

You could be mistaking hate for someone having a bad predisposition for the person/people in question.  I don't HATE people.  I DO behave in a certain manner towards someone that has already previously invoked my dislike for them.  If I know someone has lied to my face, has acted in a childish manner around me, or has otherwise found ways to annoy me, I'm certainly not going to treat them like my best friend.  But if that person can turn their act around, OR leave me alone, then I will give them their due respect and not have any further issue with them.

There ARE people in our community who have proven themselves to me to be childish and annoying.  I don't go out of my way to make these peoples' lives miserable; I would rather ignore them and continue with my day.  But if they try to personally involve me with their transgressions, I will display my distaste without prejudice.  Some people may take it as bullying, but I think bullying only occurs when someone goes out of their way to attack someone else.  I only act defensively; I'm not the type to get involved where I don't need to.

But I think everyone deserves another chance.  If these individuals can learn from past experiences and overcome their desire to be juvenile, then they very well may be able to salvage a decent standing in the social ladder.  They just need to realize what behaviours provoke negative responses from people they interact with.

[Neox]

Yes, that is true, Temrin but in most cases it is hard for the person to approach the group or person who hates them because they are afraid of more drama coming up. In most cases, other friends influence their friends on opinions of other people and thats another way of hating someone without having something dome against them, and thats what bothers me 3: if they cant enjoy themself when they go out to fur events, it upsets me to see how upset they are.
): *sniffle*

Most of us are adults here.  I actually consider it an act of real responsibility and bravery for someone to approach me to ask me why I have a problem with them.  If they are willing to listen and understand why consequences of their actions yield negativity, I have a lot more respect for that person for wanting to learn and improve themselves.  We should all be able to approach another person and ask why they don't like us.  If that person does ANYTHING but provide a constructive response, well then they are no better, and you can avoid dealing with them in the future because they're not worth your time.

[Temrin]

*Highfives Neox* Very well said good sir! :3
You always know how to say things much better then I. Agreed on both posts. Specially the second. ^^

[H u nn Y]

All very good statements and I agree 100% with you guys. I just have always been the one on the other side of this situation in terms of bullying, and it did not feel good at all. Being teased for looking a certain way or being who you are really sucks and I for one am very shy when it comes to confrontation which is why I could never deal with any of my problems.. And yes, Tef, I know that, I was just asking why it goes on in the community, curiosity kicked in basically, that's all.... x'3

[Temrin]

The only other thing i can really say, is that each situation is different. Each needs to be dealt with in a different way.
But things will most likely not be as they seem. (unless people are hating for the sake of hating.) but most people will have a reason.

So we really cannot say why it happens other then that humanity is a bit, messed up. XD