Some Questions

Started by bigjonesb, April 05, 2012, 04:19:36 AM

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Neox

Well, like Kitten said on the first page, it sounded like a paper/blog interview at first, and furs like Kitten, myself and many others have the hackles prick-up on the back of our necks at the very mention, specifically because we know how much the media likes to twist and distort our words to purposefully mis-inform the public about who we are.  At that point, it becomes almost a shoving-match to be the first in line to try and make sure the guy gets the RIGHT info.  It's not that we're trying to be defensive and keep outsiders out; it's just the fact that we've had so much bad PR in the past and people poking their noses into the community typically sets-off a bunch of flashing red lights and a klaxon.

Myself and a few others here have absolutely no issue in answering questions because we know how to articulate well and we keep the information relevant and clean.

You don't need to apologize for how you worded your questions, bud.  We're just here to help.  I'm hoping you're at least learning a few things from all this, other than furs are like sea anemones: we're all colourful and flowery until someone pokes at us, and we curl up inside ourselves until whatever it is goes away. XD
NaEthOliX.

Call me Naetholix, Neox, Neo or Steve, I respond to all of them. =)

My Weasyl Gallery

zenia

Quote from: Naetholix on April 06, 2012, 03:06:19 PMMyself and a few others here have absolutely no issue in answering questions because we know how to articulate well and we keep the information relevant and clean.
Agreed. I love answering questions. :P Sorry if anything I said made you want to turn away from the fandom. I honestly don't mean to come across as anything other than friendly and pleasant.

bigjonesb

#47
 I probably could have been a little less formal with the questions, i do realize the questions seem like something that would be asked by media personnel. I didn't know just how badly the press has hurt the community. As I had previously only talked about furry with my fur-iend from the big easy state(La), I didn't know much more than what he had told me.

My questions on here were the first time going beyond him to ask question and get some answers. so I had little to no idea how a larger group would react to roughly the same questions, (i can't remember exactly how or what I asked him). Add to the fact the questions sounding all "big media"-like, Add again the community apprehension towards big media due to fact skewing, It was recipe for disaster.

I appreciate that fact that you guys are answering my questions, Thank you for helping me out. This was a big step for me, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised I stumbled a little. I hope that I haven't made too many enemies, I understand I can't be friends with everyone, but I wish to be friends with most of you.

I do remember seeing on YouTube a late night TV show sent a person to infiltrate a furry convention, and as you guys said, it wasn't a good thing, the guy aimed his focus on the wrong things. that was one time can vouch media was mistreating the people
Going, going...

bigjonesb

#48
Quote from: zenia on April 06, 2012, 03:44:22 PM
...Sorry if anything I said made you want to turn away from the fandom. I honestly don't mean to come across as anything other than friendly and pleasant.

I could've read the responses wrong, but if you read some of the responses in different tone, you can see why I might have had deep second thoughts. Honestly I was beginning to think I was going to be banished from here, and was going to have some form of brain damage just to forget I might've been part of the culture. Sorry for getting dark there, but it was true. I actually felt very depressed

I didn't want to sound like a idiot and quickly phrase a question and have barely anybody understand what I was trying to ask, so I tried to word it professionally to the best of my ability, not thinking about how big media it sounded and the fact I didn't know that the community was poorly treated by all sources of media. I knew that there was the CSI episode that failed badly to treat furries with any respect, but I didn't know about the other media problems.

I assuming you guys are talking about the news as well, I don't really read the newspaper unless I'm in a restaurant, or don't really watch much TV news, I can't say I've seen any of the material. When I do read the paper I browse headlines, and might read if it gets my interest, but usually wind up reading the comics.

I was basically wondering about the experiences from beginning to now. One thing I really wanted to know is how did you deal with loved ones who didn't know about the culture or the fact you were a part of it.  
Going, going...

Drake Wingfire

Quote from: bigjonesb on April 07, 2012, 12:40:24 AM
I was basically wondering about the experiences from beginning to now. One thing I really wanted to know is how did you deal with loved ones who didn't know about the culture or the fact you were a part of it.  

The best lines I ever heard in regards to this is "Its just another personal thing, you honestly don't have to go around telling everyone that you are a furry." In the same way that we don't run around telling the world our other interests like for example someone going "Hey guys... just wanted to let you all know... well I am a big time Dragonball Z fan.. have been for 4 years now..." many people despite being outgoing simply chose not to air it out to the world, myself being one of those individuals. I only bother to tell people who I know are easy going and very open. Hell almost ALL of my family has no clue and I intend to keep it that way because I don't want to have the same long-winded discussion with them over and over and over. There is no shame in not telling people every little thing about yourself. Out of the most crazy secrets one could keep, being furry is pretty low on that list.

bigjonesb

#50
 I know you don't have to tell everyone you know about being furry, but how can you hide something from someone you send a fair amount of time with, won't those close to you eventually find out and, at the very least, be curious. Aren't you even a little worried that long winded discussion is going to come up with someone.
Going, going...

Drake Wingfire

Quote from: bigjonesb on April 07, 2012, 02:02:34 AM
I know you don't have to tell everyone you know about being furry, but how can you hide something from someone you send a fair amount of time with, won't those close to you eventually find out and, at the very least, be curious. Aren't you even a little worried that long winded discussion is going to come up with someone.

Worried... hmmm a little, yes, but I do tend to watch my footing and wording when it comes to anything that can give away details like that. I have lasted over a decade so far (aside parents but those ones are harder to dodge lol) so I gotta be doing something right XD

Really I just don't want to have that discussion because I am not the greatest at prettying things up, My parents I intentionally kept things very vague. For me to be very blunt honest about the fandom and how I am a part of it would be a conversation that would just invoke too many questions like ones about why the heck I identify as a dragon, my spirituality, why I draw the things that I do. really answering one question just open the doors for 3 more.

bigjonesb

 Well, As for now, I going to wrap this up, But I'm going to leave this open just in case someone has anything to add or another question pops into mind. So thank you everyone for your input. I'm glad I got some questions answered, As I was wondering how you all got to where you are today in the culture, and the various degrees of how deeply furry each person is, as some regard it more as a hobby, and others regard it more as something that's a part of them (I think I'd fit more in this group).

 



Going, going...

Crassadon

Quote from: Silvermink on April 05, 2012, 11:13:48 PM
Quote from: bigjonesb on April 05, 2012, 10:48:43 PM
The media hasn't exactly been good to any group, black people in the 50's, gay in the 70's-80's, now the cannon is aimed on you guys in an attempt to keep you down.
Equating the "struggle" of furries to the struggles of blacks and gays is frankly offensive to me as a queer person. It is NOTHING by comparison. Not even close.

unfortunately, I do feel that my personal life as a furry is equatable to the struggles of groups such as gays in past decades. Though I, also, would like to say there is no familiarity between these groups, after living with a gay furry from Texas, who described to me many of the way he witnessed gays treated, I can only say that I have faced very similar treatment for being a furry; even by furries themselves. Denying that I am who I am. . . . . . I really don't think about my past now, because I have been so traumatized by the events of the past several years of my life; I even try to erase my own memory, to tolerate it. I can't really make much of a statement about what's happened to me. So, though I would like to say the ways furries are treated are not similar to how queers have been treated in the past, I must state the accuracy of it, from my own personal experiences. It's not exactly the same: just as queers were not treated exactly the same as blacks. However, it is still there.


Anyways, I'll answer these questions, too.

-What was the moment you discovered you were a furry, what got you on the path, what made you say "I got to be a part of this"?

I consider myself to have been a furry, before I was aware of furry. I had fantasies about being an anthropomorphic wolf, and even looked at furry art and read furry stories without being aware of the fandom. When I did discouver furry was actually "a thing," it was immediately apparent to me that I was a furry, and I thought "oh, I'm a wolf." :) And I've been here ever since..


-Was there any reason whatsoever that held you back from entering the furry community sooner?

only that I didn't realize there was a community :P


-Did anyone have trouble dealing with you being furry?

Mostly, I never let anyone know about it, IRL, so it genrally wasn't possible for any issue to arise, for much of the time. I'm normally pretty private, and I never had an encounter with a furry hater on the internet.


-Does being furry make you feel better about yourself, add a little more spring to your step?

It is who I am; I don't feel better or worse about myself because of it. . . .well, better I guess, because I feel more comfortable when I think of myself as my fursona.


-What do you think makes someone a furry? What would your checklist look like?

Believing you are actually an anthropomorphic animal, and not "fully human" in the traditional sense.


-Do you believe there's an age limit, or is it part of you for the rest of your life?

absolutely furry does not appear to have any limitations based on age. I expect I will be a furry for the entirety of my life. And perhaps have been a furry since I was born.


-Do you believe it ever too old to enter the furry world? (excluding the obvious, Death)
as above.


#- This is aimed more at furries living in smaller cities (roughly 100,000 citizens or less) but feel free to answer if you feel this still applies to you
:

-Do you find it more difficult or easier to be furry in smaller general population areas?

both. . .there's less meetups, and that encourages more interation online. I have to consider my online interations to be better than my real world interactions.


-Do you feel the smaller population keeps you less active in the furry community or more active?

online, more active; offline, less active. Though, I have to admit to being fairly active online while living in a large city, too ^^;


-Do you feel that a smaller population allows you to get to know the local furries more personally?

mmmm. . . .  .yes, but there's of fewer of them. My closest friends remain furs that I have never met IRL, or have only met a very few times.

:birdy: Green birdie is the best birdie!!!!! :birdy: :birdy:

bigjonesb

  Crassadon, You understood what I was trying get at by using that example, I wasn't trying to demoralize the gay or black community in any way, I was just saying that some people struggle with being ok with the fact they're furry, as much as some would struggle to feel right with the fact they're gay.  Each person has their own issues, and sometimes, something that seems like just a small step to one person, can feel like a massive cliff to others.

  I have always felt this feeling that I was furry, like as I stated on my other topic, before I even knew it had a name, but I lied to myself, thinking I wouldn't be accepted in, because of one reason or another, latest one was my age. Like Crassadon, I've struggled. I can clearly see now, I screwed myself by hiding a part of who I am. I personally hold furry a little higher than some, as I can't label it as a hobby, and I worded the questions on that fact, although lacking any displayable fursona of any kind right now,  I have a big affinity for the Siberian husky/Wolf look, and find myself being canine-like in my actions sometimes
Going, going...

Silvermink

Quote from: bigjonesb on April 08, 2012, 05:57:44 PM
Crassadon, You understood what I was trying get at by using that example, I wasn't trying to demoralize the gay or black community in any way, I was just saying that some people struggle with being ok with the fact they're furry, as much as some would struggle to feel right with the fact they're gay.  Each person has their own issues, and sometimes, something that seems like just a small step to one person, can feel like a massive cliff to others.

I've never heard of a furry being beaten to death for being furry, so I still find it a pretty tenuous line to draw. Internet trolls are pretty small potatoes compared to that.

If you mean "furries are discriminated against", sure, that's true in some contexts, but plenty of groups get that, unfortunately. There are stigmas and there are stigmas.

bigjonesb

Quote from: Silvermink on April 08, 2012, 06:14:53 PM
I've never heard of a furry being beaten to death for being furry, so I still find it a pretty tenuous line to draw. Internet trolls are pretty small potatoes compared to that.

If you mean "furries are discriminated against", sure, that's true in some contexts, but plenty of groups get that, unfortunately. There are stigmas and there are stigmas.

  Granted I too haven't heard any such stories about furries being beat to death, Doesn't mean it couldn't of hasn't happened, either. What if one or a few of these unsolved murders are a case of that. You can't totally rule out the fact it might happen. As some people said here, They've told almost no one about being furry. How can you rule out that some nutjob overheard someone say something about being furry, and nut job goes and kills them later. If the cops don't catch the nutjob, they can't find out what the motive was.

  Again, you're probably right, but I do try my best to look at both sides of any scenario, not insinuating that everyone should all run into hiding about being furry either, as it would be pretty damn rare chance it could happen, even more rare it would even take place here in BC.

  I was talking more about the discrimination/stigma aspect, as some people like me, have pretty low self-confidence, due to one reason or another, and the discrimination/stigma added in, could be a hurdle. From what i can tell, (again, my opinion only,) you have a healthy level of self confidence.  Anyone with good self confidence isn't going to see obstacles as big as those with low self confidence would see them.
Going, going...

Silvermink

#57
Quote from: bigjonesb on April 08, 2012, 07:33:02 PM
Granted I too haven't heard any such stories about furries being beat to death, Doesn't mean it couldn't of hasn't happened, either. What if one or a few of these unsolved murders are a case of that. You can't totally rule out the fact it might happen. As some people said here, They've told almost no one about being furry. How can you rule out that some nutjob overheard someone say something about being furry, and nut job goes and kills them later. If the cops don't catch the nutjob, they can't find out what the motive was.

I can't totally rule out the possibility that death rays from Mars were responsible, either, but I don't think it's likely. :P

bigjonesb

 LOL with all the crazy sh*t going on nowadays, you never know
Going, going...