Do Vancouver men suck? - Katherine Ashenburg

[xeneros]

Hmm, as a whole, I think that yes, Vancouver men suck especially for some of the reasons that were stated. For one, Vancouver is a hole where fashion is concerned. Nothing is considered "in style" and so as a result people lower their standards. As well, I usually hold the door open for people if I see someone is coming in behind me, but I almost never have the same kindness returned, so I think that chivalry is pretty much dead. It's sad. I try my best to try and do small things like that and I give up my seat on the bus etc. I also try to keep myself looking at least slightly respectable even going into an industry that doesn't care, most of my peers however don't care.

[Icey Dominus]

WTF isent this a little bit (COMPLETELY) prejudice and generalized you cant just say "all Vancouver men suck" what kind of question is that?
No Vancouver men and women do not suck! People suck particular people are not nice or polite but you cant paint and entire city with one brush (sorry for the cliche). I am a little tired FYI if what I am saying seems a little harsh

[Drake Wingfire]

Hmm, as a whole, I think that yes, Vancouver men suck especially for some of the reasons that were stated. For one, Vancouver is a hole where fashion is concerned. Nothing is considered "in style" and so as a result people lower their standards. As well, I usually hold the door open for people if I see someone is coming in behind me, but I almost never have the same kindness returned, so I think that chivalry is pretty much dead. It's sad. I try my best to try and do small things like that and I give up my seat on the bus etc. I also try to keep myself looking at least slightly respectable even going into an industry that doesn't care, most of my peers however don't care.

Chivalry is a two way street, but its no surprise that people forget this, especially when they try and center it around gender roles. If we go around expecting ONLY men to be the ones to give up seats to the elderly, disabled and pregnant, if we expect it to be mandatory for men to hold doors then all we have done is completley allow the other gender to get a big self-entitled head and after enough of that, yes you will see guys stop it because they get irritated with it. People, regardless of gender, have this "whats in it for ME" / "what can someone do for ME" attitude. a blunt over simplification of this would be shopping customers who want employees to do everything for them, then have a shit fit when they gotta do anything for themselves.

Once again I will say I am not generalizing all women like that, but the sounds of the ones in the article... its almost a safe bet.

[Icey Dominus]

I dont know how any of this makes all Vancouver men (me!) suck, honestly I have held doors, gave up my seat and all that shit but its just part of my life I do without thinking about it, even if you dont believe me. BUT I still SUCK because I live in Vancouver. . . dont you see the major flaw in this really?

[Selkit]

The problem is not that men in Vancouver suck. It's that people in general suck. Common courtesy is not common anymore, and the moments where it's received are precious to most people. Give courtesy whether or not you receive it, and it tends to come back into vogue, if only within your own small circle. I've seen men and women alike not give up a bus seat. I simply choose not to take one in the first place unless my knees are flaring up, if availability is short. Holding a door is simple courtesy if the person is near you, especially if they have something in their hands, regardless of their gender, particularly if they're a child that might otherwise have trouble with it. Patience is not a virtue, but it makes life more tolerable, and getting huffy at someone doesn't move them along any faster. There might even be a more productive way you could get them moving along, if an opportunity presents itself to solve their problem cost-free to both of you.

Really, that's what it boils down to. Most courtesies are free. Some of them are even mutually beneficial. Having to stand on the bus? You're now burning 25% more calories than you do seated, and so on. Doesn't matter what your gender is, live by a simple rule: Don't suck.

[Tef]

Perhaps I might not have been grown up here in Vancouver in the first place, but I feel like both men and women in Vancouver were more open than what it was for me back in HK. Perhaps it's just too fast paced and individualized in terms of where I'm living at in the past, and acts of kindness would probably be treated with suspicion back where I used to live overseas. Either way, I've been following this discussion for quite a while and it's hard for me to fathom how people in Vancouver suck when the average Joe or Jane that I've met are pretty courteous (and I've made it a habit to be the same), and are open to make a bit of a small conversation on the go.

This is just my two cents after following the topic for a while.

[Drake Wingfire]

Thats a good point, I find on the Island here with our more older population holding doors or anything of the like has a roughly 30% chance of said person saying thank you, a 33% chance of them looking at you like you are plotting to steal their purse/ wallet (you know, youth stereotypes that people LOVE) aand a 36% chance of them not saying anything at all let alone even looking at you.

I still always hold doors if the person is close enough though, but its hardly reciprocated, I have had people literally open the door just a gap big enough for them alone to get it, even when you are right behind them and they will just slide in and let it close right in your face, it truly looks as if they are actively trying to close the door in your face, sort of an anti-curtsey if you will where they honestly seem like they are trying to just be extra rude.

[Icey Dominus]

I rarely find people being rude to me in that way but I have had it happen, I really find allot of people nice, they hold doors and give directions if you ask, most people are willing to give a helping hand if you ask. I have also had some very interesting conversations with complete strangers about many different things. I guess its just the way I am but people are usually nice to me and I return the favor.

[Drake Wingfire]

Guess it all depends where you are from too, the experiences I speak of are from living in a area where the youth population is actually a lot lower and the retiree population accounts for a huge chunk of the local population. so I think people just become a bit xenophobic when they are use to along being around people their age or race even.

[Icey Dominus]

Lol I am from the Island to, Comox Valley the only place that has more old people than Comox Valley is Parksville lol

[Drake Wingfire]

Hhaha why was I thinking you were from the mainland? XD

Yeah Parksville and lets not forget like every tiny community like Chemanus, Cow-bay, lake Cowichan etc lol. Its almost creepy, kinda in a 28 Days later sorta way cause you feel like your the only non-elderly person in those areas haha.

[Icey Dominus]

So true its a wounder that island isent some sort of old person preserve

[Tef]

Oh, and the main sort of rude people that I found are usually motorists. It's getting worse in Vancouver of sorts.

[Drake Wingfire]

Oh, and the main sort of rude people that I found are usually motorists. It's getting worse in Vancouver of sorts.

Too true, though rudeness could also be just many drivers plain stupidity. I have seen some pretty clueless drivers in the few years I have been driving. every time they cream themselves premiums go up and intersections are either changed or blocked off completley. Its the adult version of putting padding on things with sharp corners so "baby" wont brain himself. lol

[Tito42]

I like how the girls in the article complained that men never held the door open for them. A custom invented for the benefit of the man, giving him a view o' dat ass.