Victim of bully EDIT

[Kuran0]

I was bullied a fare bit throughout elementary school and middle school, elementary was a lot of the usual teasing, and being made fun of for standing out, but in middle school it got a lot more violent with being pushed around and stuff, was locked in a half locker a couple of times, then also bit through my lip at the end of grade 7 because someone tripped and shoved me at the same time, outside that, I learned to just keep a low profile, and throughout the rest of my years I kept to myself and what few friends I did make.

[tokar]

i don't want to go into details but i was bullied by one person and of course to be part of the "in" crowd, or so that they wouldn't be bullied as well, the others would follow suit.  to make matters worse, i was with them 24/7 as i was in a boarding school. (private school).  some of the torment turned into sexual events. 

i have never gotten over it, nor have i been able to do much about it except i did manage to track down the bully, and he seemed genuinely happy to hear from me, but i surprised him with a rant about how much of a bully he was and how it screwed up my life.  granted now that he is older he did do the minimum and apologize.  if it was possible to sue him now for his actions in the 60's, i would do so.  unfortunately it wouldn't really get me anything except revenge.  it is said that revenge is a dish best served cold, but at this point it has gone mouldy and should be thrown out.

fortunately for me i have managed to block from memory recovery, some of the things from my past that are not so pleasant.  granted they are deep down in the file system but i very rarely think of them.

my end result so far is that i have depression and anxiety issues.  although i may not seem like i am depressed, i am, but i put on a happy face when around others.

[sniffum]

my end result so far is that i have depression and anxiety issues.  although i may not seem like i am depressed, i am, but i put on a happy face when around others.

Not to exclude the rest of your post but I connect with this part the most as this is the end result of my bullied years as well and also act happy when others are around or I attend events.

[Friduwulf]

Not to exclude the rest of your post but I connect with this part the most as this is the end result of my bullied years as well and also act happy when others are around or I attend events.

I can connect with both of you on the lasting effects of being bullied every day in middle school and high school. I grew up in maple ridge until the start of 7th grade and then moved down to Ferndale with my family for my dad's company. When I went to school there I was picked on constantly for being a Canadian in an American school as well as being overweight. I am thankful that I do not remember anything about that horrible time in my life as I must have just blocked it out, but the effects coming out of it that have lasted are bad social anxiety and I get into deep depression every so often due to my anxiety and how alone I constantly feel due to having a hard time meeting new people. I am always trying to work on meeting new people but that anxiety just makes me super quiet when I feel uncomfortable and to a certain degree I just feel that I want to go and hide somewhere. I used to own a lifted jeep cherokee and went out to stave lake for a fire with a local jeep club so I can try to meet some new people but within 15 minutes I felt that I didn't belong and the social anxiety took over and I literally just went into the back of my jeep and passed out for the night. All I know is I have to work on overcoming it and just get out there and meet new people which is why I felt I wanted to join up here as there is a mutual interest and everyone here seems so friendly and welcoming.

[Nibi]

I just want to hug everybody in this thread. Being bullied is the worst.  :hug:

I've been bullied all throughout school and even afterwards. Some of it completely random, but mostly attributed to me always being the black sheep. I've always dressed, acted and spoke my own way, garnering me a lot of attention. I've been punched in the face till black and blue in elementary school and told by the principle that the kid was only showing me affection. Told I was a retard by a teacher because I had wax build up in my ears and learned to pronounce things differently. Went to a new school in a small town and was everybody's scapegoat, actually barely remember anything about that year luckily except the emotions I felt. Was shoved around and harassed by your typical popular kids. Had all my friends stab me in the back in high school and harass me after the fact... Last two years I practically had no friends.

I'm very apprehensive about opening myself up to others, but for the most I'm okay now.

[Samurai Kai]

I just want to hug everybody in this thread. Being bullied is the worst.  :hug:

I've been bullied all throughout school and even afterwards. Some of it completely random, but mostly attributed to me always being the black sheep. I've always dressed, acted and spoke my own way, garnering me a lot of attention. I've been punched in the face till black and blue in elementary school and told by the principle that the kid was only showing me affection. Told I was a retard by a teacher because I had wax build up in my ears and learned to pronounce things differently. Went to a new school in a small town and was everybody's scapegoat, actually barely remember anything about that year luckily except the emotions I felt. Was shoved around and harassed by your typical popular kids. Had all my friends stab me in the back in high school and harass me after the fact... Last two years I practically had no friends.

I'm very apprehensive about opening myself up to others, but for the most I'm okay now.

Now I wanna give YOU a hug. :/ My teachers didn't do a damn thing about harassment with me either, especially when I went to them practically crying about it and having no friends and how I stood alone. I changed schools. Was way better than the one before. Glad I changed. *hugs* don't feel afraid to open up to me :3

[Nibi]

It's alright now, been many years since that time so all the ill feelings are gone. It definitely is unfortunate how hard it is to get teacher's help. Luckily when I got into high school my principle was incredibly against bullying and would not hesitate to throw down the ban hammer (expel) to anybody bullying. xD;  *also double hugs*

[Wereman]

Thank you again for sharing. I think Tokar's and Sniffum's statements resonate the most. How you cope with this pain years and years later in life. Even though you forget about and "get over it" but remains stuck inside you. It makes you what you become today.: Closed, more cautious and withdrawn.

It is debatable how much the abusive pain (whether physically and psychologically) serves you as you live through the years of adulthood. And indeed, you feel anxiety and depression yet on the outside you pretend all is well by faking it. One of the few favorite past times observing how contemporary society forces us to put a smile every day. Eventually a subject for another day.

I cannot help but think of this movie where grown up, the victims seek retaliation (look at 1:03:00 to get the message). Having seen it right after the movie was released had little impact , but boy this is something I can relate to more now. It goes along the same line as Antwone Fisher, yet more violent.