Need somewhere to stay by late-June

[Nibi]

I hate having such a small place to live at or else I'd offer you a place to stay. Doesn't help that I have 2 other people living here. v.v;; If we end up finding a bigger place to move into before summer, like I've been planning, I'll definitely message you (if you haven't found another place). But for now I don't think my room mates would be very happy with me if somebody was using the living room...

Do you have any stable family you could live with temporarily in another town/city until you found a job there? Any grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins that you trust that may be willing to help you out? If you dislike phoning people (like I do) maybe try messaging them over Facebook?

Also try this website for help, http://youthinbc.com/. If worst comes to worst and you don't find another place to live at by summer try this page http://youthinbc.com/category/resources/safe-houses-shelters/. It would give you a place to stay in a bigger city to allow you some time to find a job and you'd have food and shelter. This shelter is a little closer to you but you have to be over 18...http://www.salvationarmychilliwack.ca/care-and-share/emergency-shelter/. Honestly take up residence at a shelter rather than living on the street if you don't find a job or another place to stay at by summer. :-\ Here's another link for shelters: http://www.bchousing.org/Options/Emergency_Housing/ESP

The best way to find a job is honestly through word of mouth, if you have any friends or family that can let somebody they're associated with know that you're looking for work, the likeliness of you getting hired is more of a possibility. My last two jobs were pretty much handed to me by friends telling their bosses to hire me. Don't be afraid to walk around town handing resumes out constantly. Also, wait a week to hand out resumes to all the same places. If you keep at it, somebody WILL notice that you keep dropping in and may be less reluctant to hire you. You really got to pester people for a job and show them how badly you want it.

[Arrea]

@Nibi - That would sound lovely, and I hope that you're able to do so later int he year; I'd be happy living in a closet if that's what's available X3

No, my family is all rather unstable, and most, if not all, my cousins are bullies. Half of my grandparents are deceased,one is living on our current property, and the other absolutely hates me. Regarding uncles/aunts, all the ones I know are living off government assistance, and wouldn't take me in anyways, as I don't /know/ them.

I turn 18 just before summer ends, which is when I'd hopefully be able to live on-dorm at a university, if my grades are sufficient, I have funding lined up for Uni.

That's still impossible; I have no friends in real (which is why I really couldn't care less about leaving; the only ties I have to this land are my bunnies and pets, my only companions for most of my life), and even if I did get word-of-mouth, in this uuber-small community, by the time I heard about it, there would already be 50 applications in there.

[J.R.Bear]

I'm about to come off really harsh, but I want to assure you that everything I'm about to say comes from a desire to see you prosper.

You are going to kill yourself if you continue to wallow in whatever your neuroses are. You need to have confidence and believe in your ability to achieve the things you want to.  By having the defeatist mindset you currently adopt you are going to fail even before you begin.

I have done hiring interviews many times and I can tell you, most interviewing staff can spot a negative mindset or anxiety. Even if you have a cheery mask on. They are trained to.

As someone who suffers from mental disorder, I know there is a need for medical help. I'm sure you have reasons that you are resistant to it, or haven't sought it. However I can honestly assure you, both from personal experience, and an educational in mental health work, medication will help you.

If you just can't afford it you you are covered by Pharmacare (http://www.health.gov.bc.ca/pharmacare) They provide full funding for people who have mental disorders and no/low income. All you need to do is visit the Mental Health Center in your community. Which for you would be:

Agassiz Mental Health Office
7243 Pioneer Avenue
Agassiz, B.C. V0M 1A0
Phone: 604.793.7160

They will help you free of charge, and have a number of youth outreach programs to help youth in your situation.

Now as to where to go from there. I would personally recommend making your way to the Lower Mainland if you can. The reason I say this is that there is more/easier access to public services like shelters and job placement assistance. As a youth there are MANY services in place to try and protect you from having to resort to life on the street. You would also eventually be able to pursue a number of different educational opportunities once you had a little bit of stability. There is also more employment to be had.

The last thing I want to say that I am truly sorry to hear that your life has become so challenging and that your family has spurned you. That is shameful. You sound like a perfectly decent guy with plenty of potential. I really hope you can turn this around and my heart genuinely goes out to you.

[Arrea]

I took meds of increasing strength for just over a year, coupled with the most useless counselling in history; they had absolutely nil effect, and the strain on my body was very evident. They're probably what's caused my slight heart issues nowadays.

And our community is extremely small; I don't particularly want at all to be associated with a mental health office; people jsut recently decided to leave me a lone, and I don't want to incite more depression-inducing behavior

If I leave here, I'll be just speeding up when I'll be on the streets; it's not like I'm able to just whaltz in a shelter and ask to remain there, it's hard enough doing simple shopping with my anxiety. I've been coerced into enough applying that I should be able to do that if someone takes me in, and get a job /somewhere/, but  if I'm on my own, I will be incapable of axquiring a place of residence for the potential emplyers to contact. Even here, I feel paranoid that my calls are being filtered in the first place.

[J.R.Bear]

The other half of reaching out is to actually take the help/advice offered. If you are going to fight against every piece of advice that is offered, you are never going to make progress. You talk as though you've already decided what's going to happen to you and we're all just here as spectators while you circle the drain. If this is not the case, and you really would like help trying to figure out what to do. You can reach out to me if you are interested(my contact info is in my profile) Just remember the other half is important.

[Nibi]

I have to agree with KermodeJay on this one as well.

No matter what challenges life dishes out, no matter how hard it kicks you into the ground you've got to smile right back in it's face and continue living on. The best feeling in the world is, in my honest opinion, the feeling that you beat the odds, you won and life cannot stop you from succeeding. Your anxiety is not the excuse, you are. And you really need to stop holding yourself back by making excuses. Your mindset is the only thing that can make you fail and the only thing that can make you succeed. :hug:

And if you need some help, need something other than yourself to encourage you or lift up your spirits try this: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz

You can ignore the songs in it if you'd like and stick to watching the talking videos at the bottom of the playlist, but this is the playlist I made for myself to get pumped. Whenever I'm depressed, uninspired or lethargic I just watch my whole playlist and feel so much better. <3 I'm hoping it may help you too.

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

This all reminded me of this quote I read a long time ago... Spend these next months making sure your future self won't regret not doing anything sooner.

[Arrea]

I have to agree with KermodeJay on this one as well.

No matter what challenges life dishes out, no matter how hard it kicks you into the ground you've got to smile right back in it's face and continue living on. The best feeling in the world is, in my honest opinion, the feeling that you beat the odds, you won and life cannot stop you from succeeding. Your anxiety is not the excuse, you are. And you really need to stop holding yourself back by making excuses. Your mindset is the only thing that can make you fail and the only thing that can make you succeed. :hug:

And if you need some help, need something other than yourself to encourage you or lift up your spirits try this: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz

You can ignore the songs in it if you'd like and stick to watching the talking videos at the bottom of the playlist, but this is the playlist I made for myself to get pumped. Whenever I'm depressed, uninspired or lethargic I just watch my whole playlist and feel so much better. <3 I'm hoping it may help you too.

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

This all reminded me of this quote I read a long time ago... Spend these next months making sure your future self won't regret not doing anything sooner.

Thank you for your opinional input.

I'm too analytical for "spirit-lifting" videos, and in some bout of irony, my mood is generally lifted by the perusal of "depressing" songs.

I never was a fan of philosophy, though I do enjoy attacking the literal interpretation of quotes, and picking apart the non-literal interpretations; enough so that I can probably list it as one of my favorite activites~

I didn't want to come off as rude or anything, but I truly do thank you all for your attempts to better my situation with whatever means are available to you~<3

[Sasha]

I would have to say your attitude (not meant in a negative sounding manner) reminds me of myself, when I was highschool age. I for some reason decided to stick seeing a councillor, once a week, on and off for years and denied pretty much every advice given saying it would not work. I went as far as leaving out details or changing my story so I wouldn't have to explain certain parts, or saying things and then promptly saying "no, it's different." when they respond - even though it wasn't. I had a very concrete thinking and I saw no progress.

Eventually I went on endless walks at night (thankfully the area is kind here to me) and found inner peace, by talking to myself mostly and understanding things - being my own friend - being independent. This is just the one of many paths I could have chosen, and it worked for only me at least. I eventually realised all this advice I was given was actually advice, and not "hit and miss" .. opening up completely without second thought to things is my most powerful tool today. I had also discovered maturity was a great factor. My mind developed slowly out of my more severe issues, and meds (things from prozac to lithium..) did not help. I had near panic attacks just paying bus fare or answering the phone from my mom, but much practise actually helped me. Being exposed to normal people on a regular basis helped me, even though I had not much to say.

These spirit lifting videos Nibi mentioned, I would almost enjoy denying they would do anything, and I was sure an analyser type of person. I think you should open up and let a bit of more feeling in, not trying to shoot down or deny every bit of help. What you are truly doing, is looking, aiming for something, that you will never find. A quick fix of support from words of people on here is NOT enough. If you really are in such a situation, then you must get through your anxiety, as it is an emotion that goes away after but the progress made while feeling it lasts.

This tiger's humble opinion.

Tigerface.

[Arrea]

I would have to say your attitude (not meant in a negative sounding manner) reminds me of myself, when I was highschool age. I for some reason decided to stick seeing a councillor, once a week, on and off for years and denied pretty much every advice given saying it would not work. I went as far as leaving out details or changing my story so I wouldn't have to explain certain parts, or saying things and then promptly saying "no, it's different." when they respond - even though it wasn't. I had a very concrete thinking and I saw no progress.

Eventually I went on endless walks at night (thankfully the area is kind here to me) and found inner peace, by talking to myself mostly and understanding things - being my own friend - being independent. This is just the one of many paths I could have chosen, and it worked for only me at least. I eventually realised all this advice I was given was actually advice, and not "hit and miss" .. opening up completely without second thought to things is my most powerful tool today. I had also discovered maturity was a great factor. My mind developed slowly out of my more severe issues, and meds (things from prozac to lithium..) did not help. I had near panic attacks just paying bus fare or answering the phone from my mom, but much practise actually helped me. Being exposed to normal people on a regular basis helped me, even though I had not much to say.

These spirit lifting videos Nibi mentioned, I would almost enjoy denying they would do anything, and I was sure an analyser type of person. I think you should open up and let a bit of more feeling in, not trying to shoot down or deny every bit of help. What you are truly doing, is looking, aiming for something, that you will never find. A quick fix of support from words of people on here is NOT enough. If you really are in such a situation, then you must get through your anxiety, as it is an emotion that goes away after but the progress made while feeling it lasts.

This tiger's humble opinion.

Tigerface.

Thank you for your story and opinion.
Regarding my emotion, I'll quote a school-famous line by one of my teachers

There's a time to joke around and have fun, and there's a time to be serious.

. In situations of importance, such as these, I aim to keep an impassive, objective stance and state views that are more-or-less neutral, and non-offensive. I've quickly learned it's better to remain as neutral as possible regarding subjective matter, as offending the wrong people can cause sever inhibition to your life, especially when you're riding on the goodwill of an/other/s. If anybody were to more-privately converse with me regarding a non-important issue, they'd find me to be much more amiable, carefree, and cheerful (If one decides to seek an example, I believe that some of my more-recent posts exhibit my more cheerful side).
And, regarding spirit-lifting videos; I have always been made utterly sick just watching things such as they; that doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to help others in need, I'm just stating that for some reason, I've always hated "inspirational" or "Restore-hope-in-humanity" videos. They're just not my thing in any regards; kind of like how I'll never like rap, and I'll always love j-rock~ :3

I am not simply 'shooting down' help, I am considering it, brooding upon it for endless hours of sleeplessness and idle, considering all related possibilities and scenarios, then deciding for or against the matter. Regarding mental health and government assistance and going in for help, that will ONLY happen under the circumstance that someone drag me there. I'm not saying I'm against the idea, I'm saying that I have a slight dependency issue regarding my anxiety; the primary reason I was on meds in the first place was that an acquaintance (who moved away and cut contact with me) dragged me to my counselor's office, sat us down, explained the situation, and had me sent around to other places. The only reason I was capable of applying, and developing the ability to apply, to establishments was because someone practically pushed me through the door a dozen times and gave me a script. The only reason I ever go to the doctor's is when people drag me there. I utterly freeze up, and abscond the area whenever I'm forced into something I'm incapable of doing; I can (and have been doing) a lot of volunteer work, as they have a clear list of what's expected of me.

Regarding "a quick fix of support from the words of people", as stated in my original post, I am looking for somewhere I can stay long enough in a populated area to acquire employment, acquire the prerequisite amount for a proper roommate setup, and live like that until I'm old enough to apply for proper band-office-funding, attend university, and have enough money for somewhere to stay. I am looking for no "quick-fix", I am looking for a basis to work from. My post stated that I am willing to do housework to make up for my staying, and repay the difference when it's possible.

Regarding "anxiety is an emotion that goes away after, but the progress made while feeling it lasts": for the past year and a half I've been given pittance ($2) for a semi-meal (Which I've skipped on numerous occasion to save up enough money for my emergency-money), and it's still a daunting task for me, and it's absolutely scary going through. I always feel absolutely fearful that I'm going to break some law I haven't been instructed in, or be accused of shoplifting and dragged to jail over how nervous I look, or someone's going to sneak something in my clothes, and frame me for stealing, thus giving me a record, thus extremely inhibiting my ability to get a job, thus making my life even more improbable, or even land me jail-time, as it's next to impossible for me to pay back any fine.

I think I ranted far too much.