i dont know how to feel right now

[Icey Dominus]

Okay so i pissed off all my friends in the course of one day, all these friends i have known for years, now every single one of them will no longer talk to me. I email them but nothing one has go so far as to say she will never talk to me again. The story behind this is dated a girl for a short time didnt workout, i had fallen in love with her and as usual didnt let go so easy, she made random passes at me and small things happened that furthered confusion. Then she started dating one of my best friends both of them knowing very very well that i would be mad. Then later on all these friends get together at a beach house on a small island. first day is great just me and a couple friends was a total blast. then my exs boyfriend shows up the next day (that was planned i knew he was coming) they get there and the moment he gets there they are all over each other understandable. He had and my other friend brought a bunch of food and stuff. I helped pack it all in, but i put it all away. Moments later they are on the couch making out in front of me once again knowing full well i would get pissed, not to mention they didnt help with the stuff! (on a side note i brought this girls computer, and a number or other things with me when i came over having to use my car and pay a extra $60 to do it and never asked her to pay me back, where if i didnt use my car i could have gotten to the island for idk $14 guess how much thanks i got for that ZERO!! but i didnt care she was happy.) after enduring the sight for 10 seconds to long i left and went a read a book in the field near the house i was acting a little pissed at this point sadly i regret this action. the rest of the day was good then the morning i was down stairs everyone was up stairs doing ummm stufff all in one bedroom, i was never called to join lol in not that i cared that much. I made french toast for everyone while they where are doing whatever. they came down ate it all. (guess what AGAIN!! from no one i got zero thanks i couldnt believe it! they didnt ask me or anything! i was sorta searching for one a little one something to be completely honest meh no ones perfect) later that night we all worked for some people on the island doing serving and stuffs. We got back sorta late I was tired and irritated. My ex and her boyfriend told me and the others we had to leave at 6 in the morning to catch the first ferry so they my ex and best friend could have there time alone. I got mad at that for one obvious reason. But i did understand they need there time and that was fine and i would have had no problem with it but they want us all to get up at 6 a.m. so they could sleep for the next 4 hours THEN get up i was like FUCK THAT!! i am not getting up that early for you, your never going to be up that early anyways why cant we catch the 8 ferry or even the 7! finally after a hour of arguing and getting told how bad a person i am. They let us catch the 7 instead of the 6 ferry. still sounded stupid to me really. Well we left and after that almost all of them stopped talking to me. except 2 one was my best friend who now does not talk to me at all anymore, and another guy who when we did talk only told me how bad a fucking person i was and how pissed i got everyone. SO i moved up to Fort St John over 1000 kms away. I still try to talk to them but nothing. They all hate me now friends i had for 4 years people i spent lituraly everyday of high school at there house. now just drop me just like that it crushes me how the fuck should i feel!? I dont even know shame yes, hate, anger, sadness, depression, lonely. Its been a while now i have been living up here for the last few months now and not made one friend it seems like i cant do it anymore like a part of me went with my friends why abandoned me i cant meet people and feel the same. if you actually read this i will be totally amazed lol thanks for listining to me rant about old things that eat at me sory guys hugs and kisses just needed to say that all out for once

[Zetta]

Wow.

uhm, sorry to hear that :c

[Neox]

Forgive me for saying so, bro, but it sounds like they are all 'friends' that you shouldn't be worrying about.

Anybody who would up and turn-over a bro like that doesn't deserve someone as hard-working and generous as you to even BE their friend, so fuck 'em.

You really gotta think about it that way or you'll go crazy.  You seem a lot like me in the way that you do things unconditionally for your buddies without expecting anything in return.  You're just an overall nice guy.  If people can't respect that and give you your due credit, then you get to stop dishing out the freebies for them.  If they get mad, well that's their problem.  You shouldn't be worrying about people like that, man.  Even if you have one single good friend who respects you for the things you do, that's all you really need.  Hell, even if that person is an online/long-distance friend, that's still better than nothing.

Keep your chest puffed out, bud.  Don't let this shit keep you down.  You at least have a thumbs-up for your efforts from me. *hug*

[Icey Dominus]

i dont mind you saying the there is no need to ask for forgiveness lol, thanks for the words and giggles hugs lol i was feeling very down earlier this morning now is better. Ya a long distance friend is better than no friends at all. The strange thing is i feel like i need/want to do things for them and with them but i freaking cant when i am ubber far away and ways on my mind. But that is no big deal. (hugs)

[Neox]

I know the feeling, bud.  My best friends online live in Michigan.  :-\

[Wyrd-Hotd]

I k ow the feeling all to well... A whole bunch of shit went down with me recently, and it all came down to the whole " I drop everything all the time and never ask for anything, but I never get anything in return" and I sorta blew up on my best friend, and later I apologized because I was not in a good frame of mind when I said alot ofthe things I said, but what he does not know is he no longer has enough of my respect to get my help all the time.  Fuck it man, people have walked all over lemans you know what? It HURTS but! it's not your fault.  So screw em.  I may be coming off pretty harsh but that's what I needed from someone when it happened to me, for me to realize that it's not worth my time, my energy, and my emotions.


But I'm glad your feeling better. *hugs*

[Icey Dominus]

thanks dude really means a allot. (hugs tight) i am sorry we havent talked much in the last little while  we should try to hang out again one day

[Kanan]

*Hugs the kitty* Sorry to hear that happened to you, Hope nothing like that happens to you again.  :hug:

[Wyrd-Hotd]

thanks dude really means a allot. (hugs tight) i am sorry we havent talked much in the last little while  we should try to hang out again one day

its really me who should be saying sorry, i have not been in contact with really anyone... been so busy lately im rarely on my computer, half the time im online on the forums its on my iphone >.=.<

[velvetkytten]

~huggles tightly~ I had similar stuff happen to me right before I graduated and within the year after...Some people have a great sense of a giver. You clearly are a giver and they clearly took advantage of you. Which makes me sick in the stomach.

I can only hope that you learn to spot these types of ppl really quickly so you have real FRIENDS and not more takers who will just abuse you every chance they get.
your heart is clearly huge. They lost that, not you.

be strong and stand tall.

those people who did this to you are sick and hurtful. try not to waste any time on them. It will be better for you in the long run to just walk away from them. Cuz if there were more then those two.. and they knew how hurtful it was.. what they were doing(kissing) they should of stood up for you and told em that is was really fucking hurtful to do that and how dare they do something on purpose to hurt you.

friends do NOT do such things.

~hugs~

[Icey Dominus]

i agree with you all but these people are not bad people just idk it takes allot be a bad person like truly bad i mean. I cant say its all there fault for not being my frineds i was irrational mad and annoying as all hell. When i cant be around my best friends and ex without getting mad or irritated say or do something stupid. My main defense was just to leave. The worst thing is we had been apart for a over 6 months and hardly dated but in that short time i did fall in love with that girl and the random passes and make out sessions confused me. Is that just rationalization or am i just crazy. I was jealous, self centered, and inconsiderate i admit to that. As for my best friend in the world he has never been much for thank you's no matter what and if you get one then you know you did something good, not to mention i loved him he didnt and never will know that so i cant just not care i want to be in his life still. The others well idk not that good of friends except one chick if i got to know her better she had the feel of a good friend i think.   I am just saying these people are bad people just young, sure they are being stupid and mean. I suppose i am to forgiving. Thank you all for the words hugs and kisses  :hug: you are all a big help

[mediar]

Sorry to hear that, I had a similar thing in grade 11-12. Basically had all my friend ditch and ignore me, for a reason I still don't know for sure. I think it was because I was making new friends and one of my old ones didn't like that or something.. it was really dumb. I don't talk to any of them now, no big loss. IMO those aren't friend's they are jackasses. I wouldn't worry yourself about it bro, live on, make new friends and be merry is my advise.   *huggles*

[Maoi Neko]

I hope one day you can make Mene and I french toast, but don't worry we wont leave you out -huggles-