First Dates

[Novel]

Can I get your guy's insight on a first date?

I went on one tonight and when I got home and told my mother about it (cause she was all happy about it) she got mad at me and wouldn't give me any advice.

So we went for dinner and a movie, nothing special. But I was really bored. I loved the movie, diner was really yummy. But he was super boring.
I felt we didn't have much in common.
We he tried to kiss me, and I politely pulled back. and He tired again and I told him he needs more then one date to get a kiss, he seemed really confused. Truthfully I was super scared to kiss a guy, cause I haven't before, and it was the first date. So when he tried the second time I didn't no what to do.

Can I get some advice from you oldies?
Or you can tell me I'm being childish.
Either or.

[bloodredruby]

Love, who you swap spit with is always your choice. (As long as both are willing, of course. ^.^")

It doesn't matter whether it is the first date or the fiftieth, if you aren't feeling it, you have every right to say no. Physical displays of affection are not something you ever have to share, especially if you are nervous or anxious. Even more so if it would be your first time.

If someone is getting too friendly and you want them to back off, tell them that you are uncomfortable and that you need to get to know them better.

Best of luck, hey?

Edit;
Oh, and one other thing. You might find better results with a topic like this if you posted it in the "Help and Advice" section. ^.~

ReEdit;
RainRat just moved this to Help and Advice as I was editting it the first time. XD

[J.R.Bear]

Alrighty! This is always an interesting question. I'm gonna break it down because that's my way.

First up its a bummer your mom clammed up on you. Not sure why she would get mad, too many variables. But I'll offer up a hug.

So dinner and a movie, overdone/ cliche, but a solid staple. Your pick or his, maybe a mutual arrangement. I've fallen back on it lots of times, personal experience dictates it often does not bode well, that's tangential however.

Boredom, never a good sign. Not always the other persons fault though. Did you direct the topic of conversation in order to avert it? Could be him some people are just boring.

The kiss, his bad. After the first approach is rebuked social etiquette dictates you should then let them make the first move. However I would sugest that you not worry so much about your first kiss with a guy, It's one in a very long line of lifetime smooches.

[Elias.Ringtail]

It doesn't matter whether it is the first date or the fiftieth, if you aren't feeling it, you have every right to say no. Physical displays of affection are not something you ever have to share, especially if you are nervous or anxious. Even more so if it would be your first time.

^ this.

Ultimately(and honestly), no one can tell you how best to go about dating, it's one of those things you figure out for yourself as you go along. Having an idea what you're after in a potential partner helps, but that knowledge usually comes by figuring out what you're -not- after...which is where the dating process comes in. :p For myself, someone who is respectful of my boundaries and comfort level is a big "necessary" trait. Being nervous is okay, and definitely part of starting to date people...being uncomfortable or feeling forced is -not-. You did the right thing, I think, by communicating that you weren't okay with that kind of show of affection.

I'm not sure what you're asking for, in terms of advice, with this, but I would say that listening to your feelings and instincts is almost always the way to go. Not comfortable, or not feeling any connection to this guy? Maybe you're not ready to date him, maybe he's not a good match for you, maybe you need to get to know him better. No one can call it, but you. ^^ Like KermodeJay said, it's not necessarily his fault. Just remember that you should always have your body and your feelings respected.

Good luck, my dear. :)

[Nibi]

It's completely normal to feel nervous and have boundaries on dates, especially the first one and that's a good thing too. :) Feeling scared or intimidated is normal for the first kiss and if you don't want to do it, then you don't want to do it. I think you made a good choice in telling him you didn't want to kiss and it's definitely not childish. Like Ringtail said, listen to your instincts.

Also, it may have been boring because you both were awkward and shy, or it could have just been there wasn't a connection. Maybe try going on a date again to see if it's more interesting, if it isn't, then he may not be for you. Usually, not always, but most of the time you'll feel a spark or connection with somebody almost right away and just know. :-3

I hope it works out for you and I'll wish you luck. <3

[Novel]

Thanks guys and gals, this is all really helpfully. I'm definitely going to give it another go with him, but I'm pretty sure that there's just not any attraction beyond looks.  He's a nice enough guy, but I'm looking for someone a little more outgoing/creative, and sadly he doesn't have a creative bone in his body.

I'd rather give my first kiss to someone who I have more of a spark with and that I actually want to kiss.

Again, thanks for all the advice, you've been super helpful!

[tokar]

for a first date with someone you are not immediately infatuated with, go on a double date or to a party together.  with other people there to help, the tension isn't so high and you all can be more relaxed.  do something light and easy such as bowling so you can laugh at each others gutter balls etc, and eat at the bowling ally or a local burger shack (eg red robin, or a+w, mcd's, etc).  throughout the night you can get closer or not, depending on his / your reactions.  by the end of the night you will then know if you are at that point to have that first kiss or if he is more the friend than the lover you seek.   
going to a movie is not such a good idea as one might fall asleep due to it being so dark, and of course your attention is on the movie and not each other

good luck