Hey...

[AMZinthos]

Hello everyone, I'd like to post an explanation as to why I haven't been around since last year's howlloween.

*Warning* this will be quite a long post about personal issues.

To start off if you're wondering why I'm saying something personal here its not broadcasting for loads of attention I just want everyone to know the reason behind how I act regarding my participation on forums and meets/events etc.

Ok, to start of plain and simple I have ADD (Attention deficit desorder). I know I'm probably not the only one here with this condition and it shouldn't be a big deal if you take proper medication, but the the big problem here is that I had this condition my entire life and I only figured it out about a month ago.
Because of this I have developed several secondary pathologies: Social anxiety, low self esteem, constant frustration, difficulties with mood/feelings control, fear of having responsibilities and heavy insomnia (like, its 2:10 am right now  :-\).

I have difficulties maintaining my attention long enough to check the forums regularly as well as an any other website requiring you to check constantly such as FA (1600+ submissions unchecked lol), facebook(deleted it now), devian art etc etc. This can go as bad as constantly forgetting things for months possibly even years, my long term memory works perfectly fine maybe even better than average, the problem is keeping focused on something long enough to remember doing or finishing whatever I started. All of that can be very frustrating and when I keep remembering myself to do things and realize I haven't done something important that should of been done long ago I feel like a big pile of useless crap. This right here is ADD giving me frustrations, mood swings due to constant frustrations and fear of having responsibilities (forgetting something important can even be dangerous sometimes).
The reason I still haven't organized a monthly movie night at my place is because I am terrified of having the responsibility of hosting an event every month and end up forgetting something important at some point and disappointing those who come.

Now for the social part, the reason I'm not going to meets isn't just that I forget to go, but also I'm very insecure about going. I have a hard time socializing even though it doesn't look like it at all. My problem socially is that, in the  middle of a conversation I sometimes lose my focus and end up not hearing what people are saying. You know how teachers yell at you when they're talking and you're "in your own world" ? Its exactly like that but in a casual conversation and not because I'm bored or uninterested on the subject I just can't help my brain from going HURR DURR randomly causing, either people to feel like I'm mocking them or, me feeling frustrated for not listening properly. It it doesn't help that I spent over 10 years with no social interaction AT ALL other than internet, that makes me feel like an obsolete retard whenever I'm in a large group now.

Now the good news is I finally figured out the main source of all the problems I have and will be trying to "deal with it"  8)  but I have no idea how long this will take if it'll even work and if I have enough time to fix it while I'm here in Canada (I depend on a visa to stay here but that's another irrelevant story).

There it is, not sure if I mentioned everything I wanted to (probably forgot something in the way  :roll: ) but it sure as heck feels good to let it out.

I'm sorry if this isn't an appropriate subject to post around here and if its in the wrong section or w/e. Just wanted everyone to know this while I hold my attention span long enough to do it so I could stop feeling so guilty from "disappearing" for 8 bloody months

[Selkit]

If I may make a few suggestions, as a confirmed high-functioning autistic with similar issues?

- Coffee. Caffeine in low, sustained doses has similar effects upon an autism-spectrum mind (ADD is an autism-spectrum disorder) as ritalin or other pharmaceuticals, with far less long-term repercussions. It's also cheaper, and considerably more enjoyable than an oppressive and expensive pill habit. It will take you a while to find out a "dosage" that works for you; In my case, I've found that about three cups, spaced through the day, will do wonders for my focus.

- Vitamin B12 and other B-Vitamins. Low B12 levels can depress anyone. Low B12 levels in an autism-spectrum mind will make you crash terribly out of a normal sleep cycle and anything resembling emotional regulation. More-so than even most neurotypical minds, you desperately need B-vitamins. Think about finding a "stress complex" B-vitamin supplement, and take one a day initially. Phase it out in favor of a lower-concentration multivitamin, however; Sustained high doses of B-vitamins are counterproductive, as the body does eventually build a high-water mark with them. In particularly troubling times, I take a stress complex vitamin for this reason.

- Do three things immediately if you can. One, first thing upon waking, and make yourself wake as early as possible, eat a meal. Your first meal of the day sets the effective 'desired wake' point for the next day, as your body equates breaking your overnight fast with an ideal wake-point. With this morning meal, take a dose of Vitamin D, and expose yourself to sunlight, and take in calcium in some form; Drink milk, eat cheese, whatever. Get calcium, vitamin D, food, and sunlight at an ideal wake-up point in the morning. Do this for at least a week, no matter how hard it seems, and you will eventually begin waking naturally at this point if you can sustain it. Pair it with exercise within two hours, and you will find eventually that you've actually set your body clock to the point where an alarm may even become optional. It will not, however, be optional at first. Set one, and no matter how rough it may seem, stick to it.

- No caffeine within 4 hours of going to sleep. Because of the neuro-regulation effect caffeine has on an autistic mind, it will prevent you from finding the state of peace necessary to sleep. Same goes for food; No meals within 4 hours of sleep. You intentionally want to enter a fast-state during sleep, to give your body clock something to latch onto in the morning.

- Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight. Get as much of it as you can throughout the day, even if it's only through a window. Pair it with calcium. This will dramatically help your state of daytime energy, and help you establish a body clock again; The cascading effect of this will echo through your life.

- Less repetitive, ritual action, more focus action. Rather than playing a shooter video-game or similar, play a coordination game such as darts, or something involving communication. Anything but a solo task involving repetition without much thought. The foundation dietary and behavioral suggestions I've made, are nothing without somehow training yourself into focus. Better yet? Find some form of education that would be relevant to you, and pursue classes if you are able. An ADD mind is a very adept learner, given the chance and ideal conditions to be.

Welcome back in any case, and if you would like to ask any questions regarding this advice, or inquire further, please do let me know.

[Temrin]

Thats some REALLy good advice Selkit. :3

[Selkit]

Thank you, Temrin. I am disappointed to see how many autism-spectrum sufferers are left adrift without proper care and advice. I spent a large chunk of my youth suffering needlessly from confusion, anxiety and other issues, when a few simple lifestyle and dietary changes would have made a world of difference. The best I can do is advise based upon personal experience with that particular spectrum of disorders as both a sufferer and observer. Perhaps I should consider keeping a blog on the subject.

[PurpleVeggie]

Haldo AMZinthos! I'm glad to see your back! Hope you get back to seeing furs as soon as you want. Also, that's one rad icon!

I don't personally have this LD but a few of my best friends, my brother, my cousin and half my school (alt) do and it probably ranks in most talked about universal subjects between us right under zombie attacks. I don't really have a list of things for you to try out to get over the difficulties your having, at least not any I can think of right now, except one. I strongly encourage you to try out Biofeedback, it's done wonders for my brother and a friend of mine is getting into her CD now and speaks very highly of it.

As for Selkits advice, wow, just wow. This dude. What a guy, right? Right now I really admire the effort and knowledge he put in to give you such genuine advice, although I've never heard of ADD or ADHD being on the autistic spectrum (no really, I've always heard them classified as separate things with some similarity) I'm sure this is advice to follow.

@ Selkit, I think a blog by you about such subjects would be very informative and of high quality. I think you could talk seriously about issues affecting autistic spectrum sufferers and doing so others can benefit from your experience. I also your style of writing can be respectful without being too "cushiony", not always an easy thing to do. Let us know if you do it!

[AMZinthos]

Wow thank you Selkit I feel better just reading that lol. Hopefully I'll finally fix myself in the following months participate on the meets more and stuff :3

Thanks purple you I'll show you the full picture later  :thumbs:

[Sevrin]

word of warning, if you have problems with anxiety you might want to be careful with coffee and other stimulants as they can lead to increased anxiety