So for those that don't know, I'm kind of a closet furry (or scalie for the picky). I've given up on revealing it to my parents, the last time I did so was when I was 14 and that ended horribly, but I do want to tell at the very least my best friend. I've very few friends myself, so I count each one as precious, and I don't want to loose anything. The problem is though that her boyfriend and his family are of the mindset of "furries are the kind of people you just smile and nod at." Don't get me wrong, they're not bad people, in fact I'm good friends with his brothers, but I'm looking for advice on how to approach at least my best friend and tell her that I'm a furry while avoiding painting myself as a weirdo in their eyes.
Mmm, I'd look up various ways to explain furries to outsiders first, become well versed in it.
If you want to change their minds, It'd take a while before they'd come to accept furries. See if they're the open minded types, that's important. If they're close minded types (meaning not likely to change their opinions) then I'd probably advise against trying to be open with them.
http://www.bcfurries.com/forum/index.php?topic=7124.0
I wrote this post a while back and I still feel it has some very valid points to take along with you when this issue comes up. Have a look at it and ask any further questions you might have in this thread. =)
^ Yes! Please do read Neox's thread, it's good stuff.
I'd recommend you watch uncle Kage's panel about furry in the media,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHZX0IvavEo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHZX0IvavEo)
it has a little insight on how this whole sexual image started, which might help you out in conversation about furries with your friends.
Honestly it's just better to introduce people to it casually; i.e. the bigger a deal you make it out to be is directly proportional to how big of a deal they're going to perceive it as. Additionally, if there's friction as a result, it's either better to take it on the chin, or move on to other people who aren't so judgmental of niche interests or hobbies.
tl;dr:
If having an interest in cartoon animals is a deal breaker for established friends, then y'all need to find some better friends.
Thanks for all your guys advice. I told my friend today, and the reaction was different from what I expected. While she's not interested in going furry herself, she's interested in what the community's like and I hope to bring her out to sushi nights every so often. Now the only problem is helping her figure out what species she would be if she was a furry. She's been rapidly cycling between panther, wolf, fox, badger and wolverine (the last two because it'd "explain my bitchy moods" in her own words). I haven't told my other friends yet, but I figure I'd figure that out in time.
Gotta second Aerkin's viewpoint here to bring it up casually. Through knowing a friend or family member long enough you know if she or her is open to be introduced to the furry community. The response you get about furries has been varied over the years anything from interest to unfortunate misconception.
Glad to hear you introduced your friend. Sushi night is a good start. Though you may want to wait finding out what species she is. She may be interested being in contact with furries and wants to find out about it. That's when you direct her to different resources.
: WriterAxis January 20, 2015, 06:32:26 -07:00
Now the only problem is helping her figure out what species she would be if she was a furry.
Ehehehe that's how it always starts. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
Just kidding. I'm glad your friend didn't react poorly.
Explaining furries to someone who already has an idea in their head is difficult because frankly, a lot of what they think is partially true. There is a lot of sexual content and themes in the fandom, and a lot of obscure and strange fetishs. You have to be sensitive to this when trying to explain it.
The best way to go about it is the "three catagory" explanation. That I put together by reading a fuckton of psychological papers on the fandom.
The first kind of furry is the kind of person who feels... dehumanised by society due to social insecurities/disabilities and seeks community. Yes, these kind of people are.. weird, but they're friendly and loyal and often good hearted people because they just want to belong. There's a long psychological explanation behind how this related to one identifying with furries, but it explains the fandom very well. The same factors that can suposedly cause someone to go furry are suposedly the same ones that can cause certian fetishs. This is the most comon group.
The second kind is the type who just plays along for fun because they love the friendliness of the community, the art, the ideas, but they don't feel any deep connection to any furry character. These people arn't usually a part of the 'unusual' sexual content that goes on.
The third group are those who identify with their fursonna on a spiritual or physical level. SID: species identifican disorder. Someone who, if they could, would change themselves to become their fursonna, who hates being human becuase it just feels wrong.
The best way I can think of to explain it is to... make it cold and sciency like that. I don't know.