I hope this isn't considered littering this forum with my problem no one even cares about but I mostly just want to get my thoughts out into the open. That its self usually makes things clearer. ;u;
I really want to volunteer at VancouFur in the new year but I'm being held back.
My boyfriend is not too okay with the idea of furry conventions, or the furry fandom in general. He, himself, is somewhat of a closet fur. Has been for a long while. And it isn't the idea of conventions that bother him either because we've been to anime cons together. My boyfriend believes that I'll get sexually assaulted or people will try to make moves on me if I were to be in a real life situation with other furries.
I can't see how this would happen. My view of furcons is a lot more different. He said if I should go to Vancoufur that it would be with him but fursuits give him the jitters. I don't want to force him into being uncomfortable for a whole day just because I want to attend an event.
I really respect my boyfriend and his opinions but I really want to volunteer. I don't know how to convince him to let me go without him complaining about it.
TLDR; I want to volunteer at Vancoufur but my boyfriend isn't comfortable with it. What do?
Assault is a criminal offense, and there should always be bystanders (including unrelated hotel guests, staff and security) and unless you are the type to accept it or fall in to some poor situations there is nothing exclusive to worry about or to be jealous about. In this tiger's opinion he is holding you back in a negative manner here, because volunteering to help any community out is a positive contribution, can further you, and should be considered by any able community member.
Perhaps find a creative way to show him your views, consider finding a mutual friend you trust to watch out for you (this can be useful in any situations, such as going to a bar, when meeting a new person..), but stick with what you think is right owl!
There is a fine line between a legitimate concern and irrational worry. It sounds to me like your boyfriend is pretty insecure and that something he's going to need to work on for your guys' relationship to work out, long term. You shouldn't be limited by your boyfriend on things you do to have fun. This con is a pretty good way to get to know most of the people in the local community, and even some from afar.
But in the meantime: having been to VF each year since it started, I can tell you that you're far more safe than he thinks. Not getting molested is as easy as avoiding room parties of people you don't know and not accepting open beverages from people you don't know. Stick to the public social areas like the games room or the lobby, etc, and hang out with people you know.
You also don't NEED to be a furry to attend furry cons. If your partner is so worried about it, he can attend with you and completely deny any and all association with being furry. He can just show up and tell everyone that he's just your boyfriend, accompanying you to an event you wanted to attend.
If it were me, though, I'd be sitting down for a talk with my partner. He's being irrational and jealous, and that's something that tends to mar relationships in the long run. This is a furry convention, not a brothel. You have the right to tell anyone that comes near you to back off and they legally have to oblige.
Thanks you two! I'll definitely take it up with him. It definitely is something that is a problem in our relationship, but I hadn't really realized the extent of it til now. Hope to see y'all at Vancoufur ^^;;;