Hey...For awhile, I've been dealing with the death of my cat who passed away before Halloween. He died so suddenly.The doctor said he was okay the first time I brought him to the vet. But while time passed he hasn't been eating. As time past he just didn't eat... When we brought him back to the vet, the doc said that he has liver failure. After that he said that he had to be put down. I didn't want that. But I had to choose because he says he'll die anyway. I chose to go back home because he was a family pet so I thought my family should know and say their goodbyes. I got home and no one was around because everyone was at work, and the only person in the house was my brother, who I don't think really cared that our cat was dying. My cat was sleeping in his cage, weak. I decided to go out and buy some Iams cat food. I was in denial and thought I could make him feel better. When I came back from the store he was barley breathing. I panicked. I was so scared to lose him. I carried him outside for fresh air. It was raining, as if it was a sad scene in a movie. I was crying my eyes out begging him to hang in there. He stopped breathing and was looking up at the sky before he passed he made a slight jerk of his head, I swear that he felt lighter than he did. I was all wet from the rain crying. My neighbor that I don't talk to passed by, she looked concerned but didn't say anything. She knew my cat is dead but walked away. Until now I feel like I can never be happy, without thinking about the results of death. Is there an afterlife? or do living things just disappear after death? I'm afraid to admit that my cat is gone forever.
Everything that lives will die. Death is a part of life. We aren't the centre of the universe and never will be, and bad shit is always going to happen to good people. Once you can learn to accept these four simple ideals (among others), you'll become one of the happiest, logical, mentally-secure individuals you've ever met in your life.
Everything comes to an end eventually. You can either dwell on the loss and be a miserable wreck; or you can revel in the good memories and move on with your life. The world is not going to stop turning for a lost pet, a break-up, etc. Your cat is no longer here. That is not going to change. What ISN'T going to change are the memories you have of your cat. Keep those close, pick yourself up and greet the new day of endless possibilities.
Exactly what Neox said.
It is not easy and its really not meant to be easy. Mourn and face the sadness and loss. After though, remember all the good times and carry those with you as you move forward in life. As Neox said, the world doesn't stop turning for anyone and really, life is too short to always be sad about something you cannot control. (This is not to say don't be sad! You don't have to be a superhuman and not feel sad. Whats happened has happened. take your time, but carry on with life. Write a diary to yourself about how you feel or about remembering some good times. If you took pictures, make a scrapbook of memories. Its hard, but facing it helps you come to terms with the events and helps you be more positive about it too. )
I wish you the best!
: Neox December 05, 2013, 07:00:23 -07:00
Everything that lives will die. Death is a part of life. We aren't the centre of the universe and never will be, and bad shit is always going to happen to good people. Once you can learn to accept these four simple ideals (among others), you'll become one of the happiest, logical, mentally-secure individuals you've ever met in your life.
Everything comes to an end eventually. You can either dwell on the loss and be a miserable wreck; or you can revel in the good memories and move on with your life. The world is not going to stop turning for a lost pet, a break-up, etc. Your cat is no longer here. That is not going to change. What ISN'T going to change are the memories you have of your cat. Keep those close, pick yourself up and greet the new day of endless possibilities.
Thanks, you're right, and that is all reasonable, but I feel so naive, like this is the most serious thing I have ever faced. He was like a family member, and thinking about that makes me worry about my family. If there is a life after death I hope my Cat forgives me, but for now I really need something to make me stop thinking about these things.
I would think that your cat (and any loved ones) Would want you to be happy. (Not that they are gone. But like. They wouldn't want you to be sad for long. They would care about your happiness and well being.) I'm sure your cat wont mind.
He died beside someone that loved him and I am sure he loved you back. Remember the great times you shared and carry on. I know it's hard at first I have lost many cats over the decades and there are a few that will always be with me from memory.
Friends have admitted to me at times they feel their deceased pets' presence, and I believe that if I were on the other side looking back, I would be devastated if I saw you so tormented and confused over what I know must eventually have happen to myself in time. This time heals all wounds, and experience will be gained, so too you will eventually do so find solace.
When I was 11 my cat passed away on halloween under similar circumstances, I made a small organiser of photos, personal objects of significance to her, a bit of loose hair I had clipped away because sap got on her fur once - and buried it in the forest. At least at the time it helped me find closure.
Tigerface.
It's good that you were there when he passed. Just remember that along with the good times. That's what I do with my previous feline master (he owned me), even if all I have left of him is an old picture and good memories.
: Tigerface December 06, 2013, 06:51:34 -07:00
Friends have admitted to me at times they feel their deceased pets' presence, and I believe that if I were on the other side looking back, I would be devastated if I saw you so tormented and confused over what I know must eventually have happen to myself in time. This time heals all wounds, and experience will be gained, so too you will eventually do so find solace.
When I was 11 my cat passed away on halloween under similar circumstances, I made a small organiser of photos, personal objects of significance to her, a bit of loose hair I had clipped away because sap got on her fur once - and buried it in the forest. At least at the time it helped me find closure.
Tigerface.
Thats interesting, ever since this happened I've been interested in Mediums and life after death studies. I wish I know what it feels like to sense my cat's presence after his death. I've been too depressed to try, I'm still a bit skeptical but I want to believe so bad.. That is interesting I'm glad you can relate, I hope they ended up somewhere safe. I've got a lock of my cat's hair and put it in a small bag that I put in my wallet, I'm still too attached to let it go though..
I have never felt my past cats presences but I simply try to focus on the positive every time I think of them if it is any ease to myself (it is,) or an ease to something possibly on another plane. Once feeling of loss passes eventually the memories will glow in your mind.
In time you will feel it is right to let go of that lock. Be sure any choice is a healthy one down the road.
Tigerface.
: Tigerface December 09, 2013, 11:58:15 -07:00
I have never felt my past cats presences but I simply try to focus on the positive every time I think of them if it is any ease to myself (it is,) or an ease to something possibly on another plane. Once feeling of loss passes eventually the memories will glow in your mind.
In time you will feel it is right to let go of that lock. Be sure any choice is a healthy one down the road.
Tigerface.
Thanks alot for the support man I really needed it, I don't have alot of friends to vent or get advice from..so it's a big deal to even read support in letters. I'm still healing but I hope I heal fully, I don't want to feel like this anymore it's been going on for days it's almost driving me crazy, the thought of another family member passing would hurt. I just need to believe that there is an afterlife somewhere.
Awwwwrrr... reading this made me tear up myself.
You just have to be strong dear. I know what it's like to lose a fur-friend...
As my mother use to tell me; As long as they live on in our hearts and memories, they aren't truly gone.
You may have some grief for a little while, but that is a completely natural part of loss as I'm sure you know. :'(
If there is ever a time you need to talk to someone, I'm always here. No matter the time or day, always here. :hug:
: Kai Zhou December 19, 2013, 11:01:26 -07:00
Awwwwrrr... reading this made me tear up myself.
You just have to be strong dear. I know what it's like to lose a fur-friend...
As my mother use to tell me; As long as they live on in our hearts and memories, they aren't truly gone.
You may have some grief for a little while, but that is a completely natural part of loss as I'm sure you know. :'(
If there is ever a time you need to talk to someone, I'm always here. No matter the time or day, always here. :hug:
Thanks alot.. I'm still trying to get over it.. It's making everyday painful..I can never truly enjoy a day without thinking about this subject, and feel like the only way to calm my soul is to know that there is a place to go after death, and that my cat is there...
It has been five months since your cat passed away and your story was quite moving. I think it is a wonderful thing your cat passed away in your arms, as painful of an event it was at that moment.
What I have experienced with loss of loved ones, it takes time. And you have to take your time to grief. It can take six months, it can take six years or a possibly a lifetime.
Yet recovering from loss is a necessity to move forth. Sometimes grief comes suddenly and you break down thinking of your cat. In time you will also start to remember the good memories. Writing a diary, writing or even drawing good moments you had with your cat will help as well.
What I've learned with loss, at first it gives you a (brutally) different aspect of life that you cannot take everything and everyone for granted. You may start thinking about your future long term and may plan accordingly.
We had to put down one of our cats yesterday. It was extremely hard.
When I was much younger (around four or five years old) we had to put down our rottweiler Dakota who was 12 years old because she had cancer, which is apparently common in that breed. I didn't understand the concept of death or what was going on so it didn't bother me, and of course I never had to witness anything, but on this trip though... I saw everything.
Me and my mother started to cry (and I NEVER see her cry) and seeing her heartbroken made me feel very heartbroken. Her baby - OUR baby was gone, but he was no longer suffering. One of my mother's friends were there. She is one of the most toughest (very strict) person I know and even she started crying. I'm very grateful she was there with us too.
This cat was a stray and we've only had him for 3 years ever since he started coming to our house ever since the owners abandoned him and the vets suspected he was 14 years old. He had lots of problems including diabetes, one of the vets said he had a bunch of small tumors going down his throat and into his stomach and my mother believes he also had kidney failure because these past few days ever since we took him off insulin and started giving him antibiotics shortly after he stopped eating and drinking food and had only been puking water up. I knew something was very wrong and if we were to leave him he would have died painfully... all I can say is wherever he is now that he finds peace and happiness, along with your feline companion.