H-Hello... Uhm.. I.. I don't know how to do this.. Uhh... Well... I need somewhere to stay for a while, as I'm being kicked out of my current living area at or around graduation. I have a rather pitiful amount of funds squirrelled up by skipping meals, but it's nowhere near enough for even a month's rent. I've tried (unsuccessfully) over the past few years to land a job, but I've been inable to get even an interview, so I would only have a few weeks' worth of food on the streets... I've been searching privately for somewhere to stay for a quarter of a year now, with no positive resultys.. Uhh... Anyways... Eesh, this is harder than I thought it'd be... v.v I should just list things off...
-Expectations & Requirements
--I need my space; No forced or sudden physical contact, unless I give consent, as I suffer from social anxiety, and due to my upbringing, I have a tendency to cower/flinch at sudden movements towards me... :/
--Stable environment; though I've lived in a very unstable environment all of my life, and have accustomed to it, I need to recover
--No illegal drugs in the environment
-What I have to offer
--Though I have no money at the present moment, and likely the future, I am willing to do all the cleaning and other various housework
--Moderate cook, and has Foodsafe certification
--I would be searching for employment to the best of my ability, and would repay the acquired debt as soon as I have the funding
--Friendly, though timid, and willing to make friends with whomever I'm roomed with
-Some notes about myself
--Suffers from Social Anxiety, and moderate depression, unmedicated (Though I try to keep a very upbeat and cheerful demeanor around people)
--Interested in Games, literature, art, poetry; math, physics, chemistry (and other sciences)
--Timid, and is slow to trust people, but would do anything for those people who I count as my friends
--Aged 17, 18 in Late-August
--Good at problem-solving, and intelligent
--Has L, but hasn't been able to get the practice required for my N
I.. I hope I've done this correctly... I've never done anything like this before... Well.. Uhm... I'd need somewhere by late-June-ish, if I'm even legally able to, and I'd search for work immediately afterwards... I.. I hope i did this right... -squirms timidly- S-So... I hope to hear from someone in the thread, or private message... Thank you very much for taking the time to read through my entire lengthy message, and I'll be eternally grateful if anyone decides to give me the opportunity to prove and all... -curtseys- I'll check back regularly...
Hi there.
I remember being in a similar situation when I was around your age. Only trouble is, I didn't have available in that small town what we have here.
What you can do now to try and stabilize your situation with having a job and stuff, is speak with some staffing services. Try Manpower, Drake, or Adecco. Manpower has been very good to me, and they will try to fit you in with whatever you're good at, but most of the work they have is warehouse, or manual labour jobs. It's a good way to get some experience onto your resume, and experience is what a lot of jobs are looking for when hiring off the street.
Because you have Foodsafe though, they can probably set you up with a prep cook job somewhere like the Keg.
Give them a try. If you need any help, you can bug me for support and advice.
Regarding your ad, you have not mentioned your target home location. Where do you want to live?
: Vanilla Skunk February 25, 2013, 06:32:00 -07:00
Hi there.
I remember being in a similar situation when I was around your age. Only trouble is, I didn't have available in that small town what we have here.
What you can do now to try and stabilize your situation with having a job and stuff, is speak with some staffing services. Try Manpower, Drake, or Adecco. Manpower has been very good to me, and they will try to fit you in with whatever you're good at, but most of the work they have is warehouse, or manual labour jobs. It's a good way to get some experience onto your resume, and experience is what a lot of jobs are looking for when hiring off the street.
Because you have Foodsafe though, they can probably set you up with a prep cook job somewhere like the Keg.
Give them a try. If you need any help, you can bug me for support and advice.
Regarding your ad, you have not mentioned your target home location. Where do you want to live?
I live in the middle of nowhere, so getting employment is pretty much out of the equation; we have 300 teenage students in the area, and approximately 15 job openings anywhere, my stuttering through handing in my resume doesn't help much either.
It doesn't really matter where I live; I would be content walking to ALberta and Edmonton for a place to stay, as long as it's shelter, and somewhere I can get a job. I'm out of time, options, and getting desperate.
Alright then, where abouts are you currently? I'm going to look and see what there is for agencies in your area.
: Vanilla Skunk February 25, 2013, 07:28:08 -07:00
Alright then, where abouts are you currently? I'm going to look and see what there is for agencies in your area.
Agassiz, about 45m drive away from Chilliwack.
You're near Chilliwack?
There's a job there, where they train how how to fix computers over the phone.
http://careers.stream.com/Content.aspx?MenuId=57 (http://careers.stream.com/Content.aspx?MenuId=57)
If you apply now, you might get the job by the time you're booted.
If that occurs, there are government assistance programs that will allow you to get yourself settled while you wait for your employment to pay you.
@ vanilla - being of slight build, yoshi is not physically built for heavy labour
i know this doesn't help now but near me there is a new supervalu opening up. go online and search out supervalu (part of the loblaw group) and apply there.
most fast food places hire on a regular basis, plus for a better job, you will have to apply in places that most people don't think about (the keg).
try catering services, meals on wheels, and other areas. not being old enough to drink does limit your possibilities. bakeries, old folks assisted living residences, and more.
good luck
@tokar - I'm unhealthy underweight skinny. I know I should be eating a lot more than I currently am, but I just don't... but I have no trouble doing the jobs that Manpower used to send me out to do. Becoming accustomed to a style of work is exactly that. It took me a few years to be able to carry anything heavy at my body mass. Working in a commercial kitchen, you have to learn how to take the heat, which is something I could not handle right now, just to provide an example.
Besides, it's not like they're making him lift stone structures by himself... they assign based on lifting limits. If you can't lift more than 20 lb's, they send you to a restoration job where you're peeling pages apart in wet books, and putting them in the freeze dryer. That's still considered manual labour. They once sent me to an assembly line where I'm packing vegan ingredients into sausage tube... that was a smelly job, really easy, and paid okay, but not my cup of coffee.
@yoshi - Another thing to do, is check with your local HRDC office and see about an Independant Living allowance. It's like welfare, but it's designed for teenagers that are still attending school and don't want to live with their parents.
: tokar February 25, 2013, 07:45:21 -07:00
@ vanilla - being of slight build, yoshi is not physically built for heavy labour
i know this doesn't help now but near me there is a new supervalu opening up. go online and search out supervalu (part of the loblaw group) and apply there.
most fast food places hire on a regular basis, plus for a better job, you will have to apply in places that most people don't think about (the keg).
try catering services, meals on wheels, and other areas. not being old enough to drink does limit your possibilities. bakeries, old folks assisted living residences, and more.
good luck
We don't have any of those things, and I've tried harrison, the nearest feasably-reachable area
@Vanilla - 45 minute drive is a 3 hour bike ride there, then 3 hours back for me... Or more, depending on traffic... I have no transportation
@Vanilla - I don't even know wher one of those would be... I don't think we have any at all...
Never heard of an HRDC office... v.v I think I understated the severity of my social anxiety...
I'll do a little more research on the government assistance options for you tomorrow. It's nice to have a 'safety blanket' so to speak.
: Vanilla Skunk February 25, 2013, 08:12:11 -07:00
I'll do a little more research on the government assistance options for you tomorrow. It's nice to have a 'safety blanket' so to speak.
I guess, but I don't have any backfall right now, my current options are 'die on the street' or 'die by my own hand', which is why I was so reluctant to post here, as I know nobody would be willing to house me until I can get stable employment, it was really more of a symbolic post that I'm out of options, and give up on trying in my area. I've never had much luck regarding people. v.v Sorry, I'm a bit depressed at the moment, as I've thought further about what I can do.
Well, that's the whole purpose of trying to find out the government assistance info... to get you that safety net.
: Vanilla Skunk February 25, 2013, 08:48:43 -07:00
Well, that's the whole purpose of trying to find out the government assistance info... to get you that safety net.
Would the government even support a 17-year-old male that
technically has a place of residence, even though it's hardly habitable, and is being removed from said place of residence shortly?
16 is the age of consent. I think the package you're after is called Independant Living. Never been on it myself because when I was your age, I lived in Saskatchewan, and this is a provincial package.
There are other teenagers around Surrey that are on it.
: Vanilla Skunk February 25, 2013, 09:42:26 -07:00
16 is the age of consent. I think the package you're after is called Independant Living. Never been on it myself because when I was your age, I lived in Saskatchewan, and this is a provincial package.
There are other teenagers around Surrey that are on it.
I wouldn't be able to move anywhere until I graduate, as there are nil places to live here, and a move would severely disrupt my studies
I hate having such a small place to live at or else I'd offer you a place to stay. Doesn't help that I have 2 other people living here. v.v;; If we end up finding a bigger place to move into before summer, like I've been planning, I'll definitely message you (if you haven't found another place). But for now I don't think my room mates would be very happy with me if somebody was using the living room...
Do you have any stable family you could live with temporarily in another town/city until you found a job there? Any grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins that you trust that may be willing to help you out? If you dislike phoning people (like I do) maybe try messaging them over Facebook?
Also try this website for help, http://youthinbc.com/. (http://youthinbc.com/.) If worst comes to worst and you don't find another place to live at by summer try this page http://youthinbc.com/category/resources/safe-houses-shelters/. (http://youthinbc.com/category/resources/safe-houses-shelters/.) It would give you a place to stay in a bigger city to allow you some time to find a job and you'd have food and shelter. This shelter is a little closer to you but you have to be over 18...http://www.salvationarmychilliwack.ca/care-and-share/emergency-shelter/. (http://www.salvationarmychilliwack.ca/care-and-share/emergency-shelter/.) Honestly take up residence at a shelter rather than living on the street if you don't find a job or another place to stay at by summer. :-\ Here's another link for shelters: http://www.bchousing.org/Options/Emergency_Housing/ESP (http://www.bchousing.org/Options/Emergency_Housing/ESP)
The best way to find a job is honestly through word of mouth, if you have any friends or family that can let somebody they're associated with know that you're looking for work, the likeliness of you getting hired is more of a possibility. My last two jobs were pretty much handed to me by friends telling their bosses to hire me. Don't be afraid to walk around town handing resumes out constantly. Also, wait a week to hand out resumes to all the same places. If you keep at it, somebody WILL notice that you keep dropping in and may be less reluctant to hire you. You really got to pester people for a job and show them how badly you want it.
@Nibi - That would sound lovely, and I hope that you're able to do so later int he year; I'd be happy living in a closet if that's what's available X3
No, my family is all rather unstable, and most, if not all, my cousins are bullies. Half of my grandparents are deceased,one is living on our current property, and the other absolutely hates me. Regarding uncles/aunts, all the ones I know are living off government assistance, and wouldn't take me in anyways, as I don't /know/ them.
I turn 18 just before summer ends, which is when I'd hopefully be able to live on-dorm at a university, if my grades are sufficient, I have funding lined up for Uni.
That's still impossible; I have no friends in real (which is why I really couldn't care less about leaving; the only ties I have to this land are my bunnies and pets, my only companions for most of my life), and even if I did get word-of-mouth, in this uuber-small community, by the time I heard about it, there would already be 50 applications in there.
I'm about to come off really harsh, but I want to assure you that everything I'm about to say comes from a desire to see you prosper.
You are going to kill yourself if you continue to wallow in whatever your neuroses are. You need to have confidence and believe in your ability to achieve the things you want to. By having the defeatist mindset you currently adopt you are going to fail even before you begin.
I have done hiring interviews many times and I can tell you, most interviewing staff can spot a negative mindset or anxiety. Even if you have a cheery mask on. They are trained to.
As someone who suffers from mental disorder, I know there is a need for medical help. I'm sure you have reasons that you are resistant to it, or haven't sought it. However I can honestly assure you, both from personal experience, and an educational in mental health work, medication will help you.
If you just can't afford it you you are covered by Pharmacare (http://www.health.gov.bc.ca/pharmacare (http://www.health.gov.bc.ca/pharmacare)) They provide full funding for people who have mental disorders and no/low income. All you need to do is visit the Mental Health Center in your community. Which for you would be:
Agassiz Mental Health Office
7243 Pioneer Avenue
Agassiz, B.C. V0M 1A0
Phone: 604.793.7160
They will help you free of charge, and have a number of youth outreach programs to help youth in your situation.
Now as to where to go from there. I would personally recommend making your way to the Lower Mainland if you can. The reason I say this is that there is more/easier access to public services like shelters and job placement assistance. As a youth there are MANY services in place to try and protect you from having to resort to life on the street. You would also eventually be able to pursue a number of different educational opportunities once you had a little bit of stability. There is also more employment to be had.
The last thing I want to say that I am truly sorry to hear that your life has become so challenging and that your family has spurned you. That is shameful. You sound like a perfectly decent guy with plenty of potential. I really hope you can turn this around and my heart genuinely goes out to you.
I took meds of increasing strength for just over a year, coupled with the most useless counselling in history; they had absolutely nil effect, and the strain on my body was very evident. They're probably what's caused my slight heart issues nowadays.
And our community is extremely small; I don't particularly want at all to be associated with a mental health office; people jsut recently decided to leave me a lone, and I don't want to incite more depression-inducing behavior
If I leave here, I'll be just speeding up when I'll be on the streets; it's not like I'm able to just whaltz in a shelter and ask to remain there, it's hard enough doing simple shopping with my anxiety. I've been coerced into enough applying that I should be able to do that if someone takes me in, and get a job /somewhere/, but if I'm on my own, I will be incapable of axquiring a place of residence for the potential emplyers to contact. Even here, I feel paranoid that my calls are being filtered in the first place.
The other half of reaching out is to actually take the help/advice offered. If you are going to fight against every piece of advice that is offered, you are never going to make progress. You talk as though you've already decided what's going to happen to you and we're all just here as spectators while you circle the drain. If this is not the case, and you really would like help trying to figure out what to do. You can reach out to me if you are interested(my contact info is in my profile) Just remember the other half is important.
I have to agree with KermodeJay on this one as well.
No matter what challenges life dishes out, no matter how hard it kicks you into the ground you've got to smile right back in it's face and continue living on. The best feeling in the world is, in my honest opinion, the feeling that you beat the odds, you won and life cannot stop you from succeeding. Your anxiety is not the excuse, you are. And you really need to stop holding yourself back by making excuses. Your mindset is the only thing that can make you fail and the only thing that can make you succeed. :hug:
And if you need some help, need something other than yourself to encourage you or lift up your spirits try this: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz)
You can ignore the songs in it if you'd like and stick to watching the talking videos at the bottom of the playlist, but this is the playlist I made for myself to get pumped. Whenever I'm depressed, uninspired or lethargic I just watch my whole playlist and feel so much better. <3 I'm hoping it may help you too.
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell
This all reminded me of this quote I read a long time ago... Spend these next months making sure your future self won't regret not doing anything sooner.
: Nibi February 27, 2013, 02:42:49 -07:00
I have to agree with KermodeJay on this one as well.
No matter what challenges life dishes out, no matter how hard it kicks you into the ground you've got to smile right back in it's face and continue living on. The best feeling in the world is, in my honest opinion, the feeling that you beat the odds, you won and life cannot stop you from succeeding. Your anxiety is not the excuse, you are. And you really need to stop holding yourself back by making excuses. Your mindset is the only thing that can make you fail and the only thing that can make you succeed. :hug:
And if you need some help, need something other than yourself to encourage you or lift up your spirits try this: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL17349055DA0FEB9F&feature=mh_lolz)
You can ignore the songs in it if you'd like and stick to watching the talking videos at the bottom of the playlist, but this is the playlist I made for myself to get pumped. Whenever I'm depressed, uninspired or lethargic I just watch my whole playlist and feel so much better. <3 I'm hoping it may help you too.
"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." -Alexander Graham Bell
This all reminded me of this quote I read a long time ago... Spend these next months making sure your future self won't regret not doing anything sooner.
Thank you for your opinional input.
I'm too analytical for "spirit-lifting" videos, and in some bout of irony, my mood is generally lifted by the perusal of "depressing" songs.
I never was a fan of philosophy, though I do enjoy attacking the literal interpretation of quotes, and picking apart the non-literal interpretations; enough so that I can probably list it as one of my favorite activites~
I didn't want to come off as rude or anything, but I truly do thank you all for your attempts to better my situation with whatever means are available to you~<3
I would have to say your attitude (not meant in a negative sounding manner) reminds me of myself, when I was highschool age. I for some reason decided to stick seeing a councillor, once a week, on and off for years and denied pretty much every advice given saying it would not work. I went as far as leaving out details or changing my story so I wouldn't have to explain certain parts, or saying things and then promptly saying "no, it's different." when they respond - even though it wasn't. I had a very concrete thinking and I saw no progress.
Eventually I went on endless walks at night (thankfully the area is kind here to me) and found inner peace, by talking to myself mostly and understanding things - being my own friend - being independent. This is just the one of many paths I could have chosen, and it worked for only me at least. I eventually realised all this advice I was given was actually advice, and not "hit and miss" .. opening up completely without second thought to things is my most powerful tool today. I had also discovered maturity was a great factor. My mind developed slowly out of my more severe issues, and meds (things from prozac to lithium..) did not help. I had near panic attacks just paying bus fare or answering the phone from my mom, but much practise actually helped me. Being exposed to normal people on a regular basis helped me, even though I had not much to say.
These spirit lifting videos Nibi mentioned, I would almost enjoy denying they would do anything, and I was sure an analyser type of person. I think you should open up and let a bit of more feeling in, not trying to shoot down or deny every bit of help. What you are truly doing, is looking, aiming for something, that you will never find. A quick fix of support from words of people on here is NOT enough. If you really are in such a situation, then you must get through your anxiety, as it is an emotion that goes away after but the progress made while feeling it lasts.
This tiger's humble opinion.
Tigerface.
: TigerKindred February 28, 2013, 05:42:57 -07:00
I would have to say your attitude (not meant in a negative sounding manner) reminds me of myself, when I was highschool age. I for some reason decided to stick seeing a councillor, once a week, on and off for years and denied pretty much every advice given saying it would not work. I went as far as leaving out details or changing my story so I wouldn't have to explain certain parts, or saying things and then promptly saying "no, it's different." when they respond - even though it wasn't. I had a very concrete thinking and I saw no progress.
Eventually I went on endless walks at night (thankfully the area is kind here to me) and found inner peace, by talking to myself mostly and understanding things - being my own friend - being independent. This is just the one of many paths I could have chosen, and it worked for only me at least. I eventually realised all this advice I was given was actually advice, and not "hit and miss" .. opening up completely without second thought to things is my most powerful tool today. I had also discovered maturity was a great factor. My mind developed slowly out of my more severe issues, and meds (things from prozac to lithium..) did not help. I had near panic attacks just paying bus fare or answering the phone from my mom, but much practise actually helped me. Being exposed to normal people on a regular basis helped me, even though I had not much to say.
These spirit lifting videos Nibi mentioned, I would almost enjoy denying they would do anything, and I was sure an analyser type of person. I think you should open up and let a bit of more feeling in, not trying to shoot down or deny every bit of help. What you are truly doing, is looking, aiming for something, that you will never find. A quick fix of support from words of people on here is NOT enough. If you really are in such a situation, then you must get through your anxiety, as it is an emotion that goes away after but the progress made while feeling it lasts.
This tiger's humble opinion.
Tigerface.
Thank you for your story and opinion.
Regarding my emotion, I'll quote a school-famous line by one of my teachers
There's a time to joke around and have fun, and there's a time to be serious.
. In situations of importance, such as these, I aim to keep an impassive, objective stance and state views that are more-or-less neutral, and non-offensive. I've quickly learned it's better to remain as neutral as possible regarding subjective matter, as offending the wrong people can cause sever inhibition to your life, especially when you're riding on the goodwill of an/other/s. If anybody were to more-privately converse with me regarding a non-important issue, they'd find me to be much more amiable, carefree, and cheerful (If one decides to seek an example, I believe that some of my more-recent posts exhibit my more cheerful side).
And, regarding spirit-lifting videos; I have always been made utterly sick just watching things such as they; that doesn't mean I wouldn't be willing to help others in need, I'm just stating that for some reason, I've always hated "inspirational" or "Restore-hope-in-humanity" videos. They're just not my thing in any regards; kind of like how I'll never like rap, and I'll always love j-rock~ :3
I am not simply 'shooting down' help, I am considering it, brooding upon it for endless hours of sleeplessness and idle, considering all related possibilities and scenarios, then deciding for or against the matter. Regarding mental health and government assistance and going in for help, that will ONLY happen under the circumstance that someone drag me there. I'm not saying I'm against the idea, I'm saying that I have a slight dependency issue regarding my anxiety; the primary reason I was on meds in the first place was that an acquaintance (who moved away and cut contact with me) dragged me to my counselor's office, sat us down, explained the situation, and had me sent around to other places. The only reason I was capable of applying, and developing the ability to apply, to establishments was because someone practically pushed me through the door a dozen times and gave me a script. The only reason I ever go to the doctor's is when people drag me there. I utterly freeze up, and abscond the area whenever I'm forced into something I'm incapable of doing; I can (and have been doing) a lot of volunteer work, as they have a clear list of what's expected of me.
Regarding "a quick fix of support from the words of people", as stated in my original post, I am looking for somewhere I can stay long enough in a populated area to acquire employment, acquire the prerequisite amount for a proper roommate setup, and live like that until I'm old enough to apply for proper band-office-funding, attend university, and have enough money for somewhere to stay. I am looking for no "quick-fix", I am looking for a basis to work from. My post stated that I am willing to do housework to make up for my staying, and repay the difference when it's possible.
Regarding "anxiety is an emotion that goes away after, but the progress made while feeling it lasts": for the past year and a half I've been given pittance ($2) for a semi-meal (Which I've skipped on numerous occasion to save up enough money for my emergency-money), and it's still a daunting task for me, and it's absolutely
scary going through. I always feel absolutely fearful that I'm going to break some law I haven't been instructed in, or be accused of shoplifting and dragged to jail over how nervous I look, or someone's going to sneak something in my clothes, and frame me for stealing, thus giving me a record, thus extremely inhibiting my ability to get a job, thus making my life even more improbable, or even land me jail-time, as it's next to impossible for me to pay back any fine.
I think I ranted far too much.