I actually began typing this topic at 2 am when I couldn't sleep. After a series of revisions, it feels ready to be shared for sometimes it feels better to write and revise. The revisions were actually made while attending a series of activities with furries (thank you Gizmo for organizing such).
Everybody has fear and incertitudes for future achievements and we all get cooped up in them unable or unwilling to move forth with our plans and intentions. The challenge is willing to share them, for it helps to get a clearer picture, to clear your mind.
It is less a matter of receiving solutions right away, but it is being relieved from a burden (share your worries, it's half the worries). When reading each other's fear there may be the need to offer solutions right away, but most important it is to acknowledge each other's personal fear. And most importantly write out your fear, what worries you, think them over and look at them from a different viewpoint.
To move forth, let me share two examples of fear that can overcast one's mind and potentially block plans and goals to come:
- In the fall I will be attending a series of courses while looking for work. My biggest concern is to properly manage time between academics, employment search and leisurely free time (basically having some fun). This can always be a challenge to properly allocate time.
- Looking farther in the future I worry my academic choice willl offer the career opporttunities in the industries I am aiming for. This adds to the concern whether there is work in specific industries.
- Okay, an additional bonus one:
In addition to time management and longtterm concern, I have to move out of where I currently live in the months to come and I have no idea where to go.
To conclude, let me share a few things you can tell yourself or do when scared:
- Take a deep breath
- There's no reason to panic, I can fix this (as quoted from 6th Day with Arnold Schwarzenegger, release in 1999)
- You're doing good
- There will be a solution
- You can do it for you are strong
- Don't let fear take over
- Act, in spite of fear
- Close your eyes and imagine sun patches
needles, I f**king hate needles.
also I'm constantly afraid that people think I'm gross or annoying or boring, that's pretty scary too.
oh yes and diabetes, 3/4 of my grandparents have it, so I'm scared of that as well.
Physical fears - cockroaches. I fucking hate 'em. One of 'em scared the bloody hell out of me. And I wouldn't dare to stomp on them becuase it'll just be even uglier and I do not want to spend time picking its bits from my shoes.
Wereman, I have to admit, that is a non physical-fear that I have. Multitasking, and trying to work around failed or unwieldy plans of sorts.
"Easier said than done" comes to mind. Talking about it is one thing, but actually moving past your fears is a whole other ball game. Then the difference between a physical fear and a situational fear, they come from different reasons. Though what you are describing sounds like anxiety. Being afraid of the uncertanty of the future which is perfectly normal as there is nothing more terrifying than not knowing.
Personaly I have an irrational phobia for small spiders and commitment anxiety which goes beyond not wanting to be in a relationship, but into the real world, such as making plans, hosting events, and even buying things.
I still have a slight fear of needles, I kinda overcame it by mentally pumping myself up like "thats it? bring it on! this pain is shit, absolutely nothing for a guy like me"
But I still have three other fears.. or at least great discomforts.
Death: I honestly hate to think of my own mortality, it freaks me out a bit even though I am still rather young cause I always think "there is so much I could do, so many things I could become and so many heights I could try and reach for" and despite my my more spiritual side, death is still a concept I am not all that comfortable with. But maybe its one of those things I only fear because I still feel I haven't really done anything big yet.
The Dark: Okay honestly not a "aaahh the boogeyman" scenario, this mostly applies to being outside at night and in say walking in a rural area where its just you, a road and thick forest all around. I always feel a little on edge because in the past I have had some encounters with wildlife, most notably was running into a younger cougar in the pitch dark and me having nothing aside a flashlight. Since that point I have been even more on edge at night. Which is sad because I do love night time walks, I like to walk out under nothing but the moonlight but its more so my fear that there could be something or someone waiting out in the bushes that really makes me uneasy cause you are at a huge sight disadvantage even with a flashlight so you just wont know whats out there till its pretty much right in your face. However.. if I am walking at night with some friends, I feel completley fine.
Mundanity: This one I rank almost as high as death in my books because to me it might as well be the same thing, its a real bizarre concern I know because for one how can someone who identifies as a dragon, hangs out all the time with furs and friends, enjoys dirty humor and porn, is rather gay and enjoys every moment of it and even has a personal spiritual identity ever be mundane? I honestly don't know how but I still have this fear of sinking into the typical life. Many already know my view on it as I tend to air it a lot it my examples, the famous "9-5 working class who's only joy is alcohol" but it really comes down to any feeling of a life spent wasted pursuing the status quo. A life where the only things left to talk about are work, debt, getting hammered or what you had for dinner. It honestly does scare me on a level in a weird way probably because I already have my own identity and I know who I am right now and where I stand. When I think of mundanity I suddenly pop into this mental scenario where I am stripped of every single bit of identity that doesn't fit the current culture and social climate. So me minus the dragon, sexual identity, spirituality and even my humor to an extent. Even though I know its a ridiculous thing to worry over as it would be very very hard to ever change who I am deep down like that, I still have this fear of just growing up and becoming bland and dull.
I am afraid of myself. Let me explain:
I believe that everyone has their own inner demons: a point at which their emotions become so overbearing that they loose inhibition and act on them, or act erratically and irrationally. Not many people are aware of their demons, and some peoples' demons are less harmful than others. I've had a glimpse of mine about 2 years ago, and it is ugly, terrifying, and I do everything I can to keep it satiated so that it doesn't take over my mind. This is one reason that I don't go anywhere near psychotropic drugs or hallucinogens. I'm afraid they will accidentally unlock that part of my brain that my demon is chained up inside.
There. Neox has shared one of his deep, dark secrets with all of you. I shall take my leave now.
I'm scared of never doing anything significant with my life and just being forgotten. Yeah, I know, heavy stuff.
Of course, I remind myself that being forgotten completely should really only be a concern after I'm dead and won't care anyway. :P Not to mention most people do significant things just in the course of their daily lives, even if it's not always obvious to them.
Thank you for sharing your fears and worries. The passage of Drake about loosing your identity is quite captivating, a concern I had many years ago. I ended up continuing being myself and avoiding events or venues that did not suit me.
You are making a good point Tef, anxiety vs. actual fear. Being fearful of the future, there is one things I recently learned, you can have a plan but and fret about it. Instead you should enjoy each day as it comes. Once you enjoyed an activity you can continue with your plan yet bear in mind that it will change.
Onto two things that give me a fright:
- Basement apartment (which seems odd for a fox), I experience this many years ago and always had the experience being crushed from the floors above, which also increased depression. As a result I favor top floor locations.
- Entrepreneurs (or maybe this overrated term and what it stands for), I tend to run away screaming of them, be they solopreneurs or wannabepreneurs. All they try is to pitch their product on you not giving a damns what you feel about it. No offense to anyone out there who feels to be one for it is quite remarkable to venture on their own with an idea and market it accordingly.
- umm the dark but only when im alone
- deep dark water,mirky ,all lake weed at the bottem like something is just going to grab me and pull me down, again when im alone.
- Bee's sometime's
- me not in control of my darkside
- biggest one that just came up moving away from home,dad and being away from my friends and family im not ready for that kinda thing im scared. but i dont think ill have too anytime soon but when the convo starts to that it gets me pritty deep inside.
only some of the ones ill share.
: Fuzzum September 01, 2012, 02:00:11 -06:00
- umm the dark but only when im alone
- deep dark water,mirky ,all lake weed at the bottem like something is just going to grab me and pull me down, again when im alone.
- Bee's sometime's
oh man, yeah even I don't feel comfortable swimming in some places due to that, I was at a furry lake/swimming meetup and I went out swimming just thinking "don't look down into the abyss... don't look down into the murky deep..."
As for bee's I still am uncomfortable around those things myself.. and my family owned their own apiary @.=.@ some summer days I didn't even go outside cause when you got hives around the property, those fuckers are EVERYWHERE
ya same "dont look down, Its ok nothings going to get you" Then just to test myself i look down and regret it and then start swimming to shallow waters. ya hate the massive bee's that sound like there right beside you and you look around and its no were in sight but then you see it fly around the corner and its Like a golf ball and i just walk in the other direction cause my Bee dont bugg me training is not ready for that kinda massive thing.
Well since we're sharing our deep dark secret fears as Neox puts it, might as well put mine in the pile.
Phobias: Ok so I have a phobia of needles (Especially the ones that are shoved in your mouth at the dentist) and a phobia of all breeds of wasps. They just terrify me when they fly near me. D:
Extensional Despair: To be honest, this is something I don't really like talking about. As silly as it sounds I don't like to because I feel ashamed of it, which when I look at it in retrospect I'm sure many people have this fear. Much like Drake Wingfire I have a fear of death and my own mortality as well. It's not often I think about these things (Mostly because I don't like too) but its the idea that I could die at any moment in any place, and I might not even see it coming. Followed by the idea that what if there is not purpose for me? What if all that waits for me after death is an eternity of nothingness. I guess at that point it wouldn't really matter to me anymore if I don't exist, but the thought truly terrifies me. It's the idea that my life has no meaning.
Like I said though, it's rare that these things come to mind. When they do, I immediately distract myself with something more cheerful, because in the end worrying about it will never help anything. I could worry about it until I'm clinically depressed, and it wouldn't change anything, except make my life miserable. So I do my best to find meaning in my life, which I think is something that's so important for all of us, and I don't deny the idea that there might be something more after death.
Wow well that was depressing hahaha! :P I swear to gods I'm a very cheerful person. So there's my deep dark fear!
Chloe ya needles suck ass thats why i stopped taking them at the dentist *Revs the drill* "Bring it on" :vik:
And the After death thing gets me from time to time and bumbs me out but like you i put funny/awsome stuff in the way of that, makes me feel better.
I'm afraid of making phonecalls @_@ That's all I got. I'm more afraid to make a phonecall than I am getting my hand blown off at work or something @_@ I must be crazy haha
I'm afraid... well, not so much afraid as, I don't like to think about the future. It's easy to think of what you want out of the future..... but.. I keep thinking of the what-ifs, the economy we live in right now, the difficulty of finding a job... all those factors... it depresses me. Which is why I try not to think too far ahead in time if I can help it... it just depresses me.
I'm also afraid of Jellyfish.
And i'm deathly scared of parasites... remember having to dissect one in Biology... I couldn't even make a first cut. Even though I know it's dead, it just creeps me out, I don't even want to breathe near one.
Thank you all for sharing, oddly enough, I do not feel freaked out of swimming in a natural body of water. The endless green and blue and do not see the ground adds a mysterious element to swimmingg in a lake.
Death is probably the biggest fear, for we all do not know what comes after and we saw whoever leaves does not come back. Best approach is to live your life to the fullest.
: Wereman September 06, 2012, 08:49:01 -06:00
Death is probably the biggest fear, for we all do not know what comes after and we saw whoever leaves does not come back. Best approach is to live your life to the fullest.
as long as YOLO isn't incorporated its all good XD
Im afraid of
-"wild" water (Lakes, seas, rivers, Etc.)
-Apocalypse (Zombie, Creeper, Etc.)
-Earthquakes
-Slenderman
-Mr face coming in to my house at night
Who's Yolo? Or is this similar to the Grudge (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_v1nyF-OLGLU/TA1QPnJPlwI/AAAAAAAAAXA/BMh0X0LeI5A/s1600/grudge3.jpg) or the Ring girl (http://thebioscopist.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/ringu-1.jpg?w=610)
Hm, I also have something of a fear of deep water and of drowning. Not phobia-level - I've still gone snorkeling in deep water, and floated down part of the Nechako River wearing a life jacket (yes, on purpose) - but it's definitely there.
: Wereman September 18, 2012, 12:03:50 -06:00
Who's Yolo? Or is this similar to the Grudge (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_v1nyF-OLGLU/TA1QPnJPlwI/AAAAAAAAAXA/BMh0X0LeI5A/s1600/grudge3.jpg) or the Ring girl (http://thebioscopist.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/ringu-1.jpg?w=610)
Slightly off topic but basically YOLO stands for "You only live once" It was coined by the rapper drake. It's pretty much become the slogan/battle cry for most teenagers and young people alike. So things like, "I'm going to get drunk, YOLO!!", "I brought this girl home, and I don't know where my condoms are, YOLO!!"
So yeah, that's what that is.
: Chloe September 18, 2012, 12:48:38 -06:00
Slightly off topic but basically YOLO stands for "You only live once" It was coined by the rapper drake. It's pretty much become the slogan/battle cry for most teenagers and young people alike. So things like, "I'm going to get drunk, YOLO!!", "I brought this girl home, and I don't know where my condoms are, YOLO!!"
So yeah, that's what that is.
Or more aptly know as Carpe Diem for morons lol
I can make this jump, it's only 30 feet, YOLO.
To be honest and for the record, I don't know which one is worse, YOLO or swag....
Well both encompass a pride in being stupid, as if trying to achieve anything at all has become un-cool. YOLO being "haha I know this is stupid but im doing it!" and Swag being "Who needs to be smart? I think I can get by on looks and attitude"
I'm afraid of being alone, of being a failure, and of never doing anything that is of any importance in my life.
Those are rather understandable, time to time I really feel that last one. Right now I am trying to still separate the "work/career happiness" side of that from the "life happiness" part because all to often we might have a great life but think we are failures just because we haven't found some job that will give us a six figure income. Usually a notion drilled into us at school and by our parents that finding a high paying job is the only thing that equals happiness. Right to the point we sacrifice everything for it and wind up just being unhappy no matter how far we get.
I'm absolutely terrified of needles and spiders. And the Skytrain. No, really.
Also heart and breathing problems; suffocating and not having space is incredibly stressful for me. Which doesn't exactly help the panic attacks.
: Tosca September 22, 2012, 12:02:14 -06:00
I'm absolutely terrified of needles and spiders. And the Skytrain. No, really.
Absolutely right to be afraid of the damn thing. On my way to work yesterday, I had the treat of watching transit cops dealing with a shrieking, bearded shirtless man gibbering at them and hopping around like a monkey. Fun!
As for what I'm afraid of? Surprisingly little. Accustomed to needles. Spiders, I'll handle, as in physically. I cannot deal with the idea of cancer, though; It's killed most of my family, directly or indirectly, most of them died a slow and wasting death, and I do not want to die that way. I want to die peacefully in bed or in spectacular, swift fashion.
I had to think about this thread a great deal before I could articulate in my mind a proper response.
I have learned that I what I fear above all else is time. I'm afraid I'll never have enough of it. I fear I need more of it than other people to get things done in my life.
On the other hand, I can't trust myself with it. I don't treat it very well when I have it and I tend to kill a lot of it. I let it go to waste whenever I have some.
I'm scared about my new job. Wish me luck!
: Renwaldo September 22, 2012, 02:53:39 -06:00
I have learned that I what I fear above all else is time. I'm afraid I'll never have enough of it. I fear I need more of it than other people to get things done in my life.
On the other hand, I can't trust myself with it. I don't treat it very well when I have it and I tend to kill a lot of it. I let it go to waste whenever I have some.
I understand that. One of the things I try to tell myself is that if I enjoyed the way I spent my free time, it wasn't wasted. I feel sometimes like our culture vastly overvalues "achievement" at the expense of fun, and thinks (as it were) of fun as frivolous. I'm sure we have the Puritans to thank for that.
Well, on a more emotional level, I'm scared of being alone. A pack consisting of one sled dog may be a pack in a mathematical sense, but in a social sense, the pack is nonexistent.