Hey Furries, Im posting a topic that will rustle some feathers :3
So it seems more "Drama", and i use this word very weakly, has popped back up again and everyone is up in arms and yelling at the top of there keyboards at home. but soon after all the inputs and bad words are said you get some Furries going ... " I hate all this Drama, I wish it would stop". I just wanna comment on the fact that we all LOVE "Drama"! (or maybe its just me) No matter who its about or what its about.
Hold on Hold on don't go ranting on me just yet. Think about it, when something starts up we get everyone commenting on it and saying what they think about it. They post/talk about ways they think it should or could be fixed, or stopped, or what ever. And I think this is wonderful, Its Human Nature to be this way. I will say I don't like when someone goes to far and starts hating people for starting the topic, or for what they say about it, that's just lame, and uncool and lame. For me the chance to say something is a gift. I can say there are other people like me that don't want to be rude and keep what they think about something inside or tell someone close to them about it. But when finally someone says something everything comes out! Its Great!
Regardless of it being negative or positive, it gives people a backbone even for only a few days.
(Note: This is not pointed at anyone/ Sorry if I make no sense / Sorry for Spelling and grammar errors )
The world is in an eternal state of conflict, and that's how we progress on with life. If everything's an utopia, then life would be quite mundane, wouldn't it? ;)
Don't forget that "DRAMA" is not a furry only thing!! It happens in every fandom, in real life situations, work, school, home and any other setting with interactions between people/furs
: Kitten April 25, 2012, 11:46:06 -06:00
Don't forget that "DRAMA" is not a furry only thing!! It happens in every fandom, in real life situations, work, school, home and any other setting with interactions between people/furs
Oh i know that, but im kind of a loser and all my friends are furry :p that's why i added that "No matter who you are part"
Blah, life without drama is boring :P though when it's the same thing over and over again it does get old.
I'm afraid I disagree. Sure it brings us together and gets us talking, but we're talking about negative things. What we're doing together right now is gossiping and putting people down.
When these things happen I prefer not to think of it as 'drama' but look at the specific issues analytically.
This recent event was never supposed to be an issue. Somebody was just trying to help someone else solve a problem for the betterment of the community and the safety of those involved. A couple people overreacted and mistook the advice and this whole thing has been blown completely out of proportion.
It is not a good thing!
People are getting themselves riled up and butt-hurt over nothing.
What you perceive as an increase in social activity, I see a bunch of people speculating on the decency of each other's motives.
"WARNING: The Drama portrayed in this World is real and extremely graphic."
"The human is remarkably resilient..."
"Every day we fight a new WAR against Judgement, Ridicule, Coflict, Imbaressment, CATASTROPHE, and calamity."
"The fact that we survive at all is a miracle..."
"Because, every day we live..."
"We face 1000 WAYS OF DRAMA."
Ok i read and had something wise to say then that got that in my head and it made me forget what i was going to say, so here ya go. :-3
: Kitten April 25, 2012, 11:46:06 -06:00
Don't forget that "DRAMA" is not a furry only thing!! It happens in every fandom, in real life situations, work, school, home and any other setting with interactions between people/furs
indeed.
i deal with drama from pimps prostitutes, druggies, drug dealers, homeless people, drag queens, sexual deviants, and criminals... with which somehow get rented to in our motel and must be evicted when they "more often than not" cause drama lol.
after dealing with that for 3 years and being paid for it, i am glad i can go home and live in a drama free zone and socialize with drama free friends. i think the furry fandom just introduces an element of "chaos" not drama. in chaos there is a potential for drama but not a certainty that it always will cause drama. If that were the case i would never do anything furry lol. I go to furry things because despite drama people come together and even if a few grit their teeth or give nasty looks all around, we all usually can put drama aside and get along for an evening... providing its just an evening and we don't live together.
: Fuzzum April 26, 2012, 01:19:01 -06:00
"WARNING: The Drama portrayed in this World is real and extremely graphic."
"The human is remarkably resilient..."
"Every day we fight a new WAR against Judgement, Ridicule, Coflict, Imbaressment, CATASTROPHE, and calamity."
"The fact that we survive at all is a miracle..."
"Because, every day we live..."
"We face 1000 WAYS OF DRAMA."
Ok i read and had something wise to say then that got that in my head and it made me forget what i was going to say, so here ya go. :-3
Bahahahaa! You sir, deserve a hero cookie!
Was watching the marathon the other day! Was all like "it'd sure be neat if he..." and then Blam, yeh did it.
I really have nothing to say on the topic of drama, Just thought this^ was funny. :birdy:
I think people often misread the fine line between what is a debate and what is drama. I like a good scrap, and I'll debate subjects until the cows come home with no hard feelings toward anyone. A lot of people see two or more people rallying and think it's drama because a debate can get heated and sometimes controversial. Drama happens when someone takes personal offence to something and starts whining about it. I believe that debates and friendly fighting are what keep conversations going; drama, on the other hand, is just completely unnecessary. Unfortunately, some are more sensitive to harmless words than others, and are more susceptible to making themselves out to be the victim of drama, when the words were actually intended to be debated and not taken personally.
Drama happens everywhere, yes yes, in the fandom? Yup. In real life? of course. But the biggest thing I think most people do is take the wide definition of drama and slap it to anything that has a serious or not so happy tone to it. Like I said in a previous topic that fell along these lines. Calling things drama just seems to be more of a social cop-out than anything.
Though I do have to add that in most cases I see drama has become the new emo. At least with how its being used, stuff we call drama today would have been called whiny or emo years ago.
: Neox April 26, 2012, 05:10:18 -06:00
I think people often misread the fine line between what is a debate and what is drama. I like a good scrap, and I'll debate subjects until the cows come home with no hard feelings toward anyone. A lot of people see two or more people rallying and think it's drama because a debate can get heated and sometimes controversial. Drama happens when someone takes personal offence to something and starts whining about it. I believe that debates and friendly fighting are what keep conversations going; drama, on the other hand, is just completely unnecessary. Unfortunately, some are more sensitive to harmless words than others, and are more susceptible to making themselves out to be the victim of drama, when the words were actually intended to be debated and not taken personally.
true until you add the complex tangent of popularity.....WARNING: the following program may be offensive to some viewers. It contains opinions and themes that may be found offensive to some viewers. Reader discretion advised!This means intelligent opinions and debates may cause drama if people whine about what other people think. in truth they should respect everyone's freedom of option while generally not caring too much about things, and rush out and cause more drama lol.... just kidding...
if many people like you or if people who are popular like you, you get off without much backlash, are forgiven easier, or can start more intense trouble.... that is the definition of a internet bully. of course if a less popular person does exactly the same they are chewed up and spit out, never forgiven even five years after the fact. Even if they started only a fraction of trouble they are given full hater-aid which often would be more forgiven if they were popular.
i see this happen time and again from high school, collage, the furry fandom, employment. everywhere. the strong pick on the weak. perhaps its some primary instinct or survival of the fittest or the same sort of bull crap that makes the bullies from high school just blend in better.
by the same token just because anyone, bully or not, posts some bull crap online, does not make them a bad person necessarily. I have known locals who constantly piss people off; whether they are popular or not popular. the popular ones get much less backlash or are instantly washed clean of their sins, while the unpopular are almost stoned to death. Then there are others constantly looking for trouble on purpose and are given auto credit if they are popular and no credit if they are not.
What is a crime is when i witness perfectly nice neutral people in the middle speak up to defend someone, to give their own opinion or maybe make the mistake of being an ass for a short moment... and they often fall like a bird on fire straight to the bottom of the pecking order. don't tell me you all don't agree? we have all seen this. the flavor of the month.. the recent person to make a social mistake or what have you is suddenly the local fur everyone hates until the next fur makes a mistake and all hate shifts to them. an angry mob is more devastating than the flamer that lights the match. This is the reason i felt so insulted years ago to be cast down to the ground unfairly for a minor transgression, and yet i knew that if i shut up and took a step back the mob would forget me and find someone else to flame. the problem is there is no way to fight the mob unless you simply do not attack people from 1-100 unless they dam well deserve it. the first step to change is basing your own bloody opinions on what you know yourself not what you hear. be unbiased and don't give a crap about rumors, and do not jump into a angry mob unless someone is dancing around like a prick for a long time and they need to finally be put in their place. It is being unfair to perfectly nice people who are innocent or make tiny makes, that causes the most drama in the world. people do not have to like or be friends with everyone, they just need to be more tolerant of others.
I have met a few locals who always have something bad to say about one person or another. If we know who they are talking about or have any history of beef with the attacked person we may side with the attacker based on how popular they are. if a unpopular person rants they are hated, if a popular person rants they are believed instantly. It is only after a popular person attacks too many people in a row; do their bullshit become apparent and soon everyone realizes that perhaps the person they are attacking is not bad but in fact a victim. its not that all those that were attacked by them are bad, but rather the attacker is just a bad person or overly judgmental or maybe just a prick who has a big ego or deserves to be knocked down a peg onto their ass. Sadly by this point there are now several people who were attacked and those with weaker spirits have become angry vengeful dogs ready to bite at anyone's leg after being kicked for so long.
It is never nice to be attacked but when a public mob joins in it becomes 100 times worse. that is how burned furs are created. aka people who were attacked by one or a few people and sought sympathy guidance and support from a furry community that claims to be full of love and understanding. Instead that very same community attacks them if they are already unpopular, or if the one attacking them was popular and never questioned. With no one left to turn to they become convinced that all people in the community are rotten and they turn their hate not back on the one who hurt them but everyone. being angry at the world is a very hurtful way to live and i have had many moments in my life when i have felt anger so controlling anger is definitely important but you would have to be a saint to control anger after such ostracizing. It has been very hard for me to learn to trust the community again but i have learned to because time again when drama is not happening, i am reminded how nice people are and i can forgive them. Jesus forgave a lot more of a misguided mob, so the shit i deal with is petty and easy to overcome if i actually try to let go of anger.
popularity has its branches in all of this. i wouldn't say people who are attacked and take it personal "who then choose to speak up for themselves" are necessarily causing drama by whining. rather i give credit to people for standing up for themselves as i hate bullies. There is definitely a difference between whining about something valid, whining about petty crap that other people don't care about, and being an attacker whining unfairly about others you don't like. sometimes in life the best practice is to just control yourself, how you act/react, and what you say in person or post online. if everyone practices that more often there would be zero issues. however not everyone will. but if most do it singles out the troublemakers.
it may have been a hard lesson to learn but i had to learn everything above on both sides of the fence. i was popular in high school enough but with just a small friend group. i never wanted more friends nor did i have few. I am very independent at times and often do need support other times. the mistake is that the fandom and community and even your 30 people you tend to see or hang with most often... are not these sorts of friends. they are just "non-hostiles" which tend to smile, know your name, are approachable, and tend to be fun. Added the 50-100 others you are less compatible with and have no interest in talking to unless you are being polite. However; in collage and military my friends were made entirely of these less close groups due to single class semesters and military units. meaning i could not choose my friends and peers, i was stuck with them and had great difficulty sorting out worthwhile people because a pool of 30 like minds of artists is a small gene pool for friends. my friends always were found outside of artists.
my biggest mistake is when i moved from Victoria ( with low fur population ) to Vancouver which had 200-300 furs and growing... i was overwhelmed. i forgot i needed to seek out close compatible friends and instead i tried to make friends with everyone which mostly were non compatible or simply non hostiles. after many fuck ups which were often relayed as character flaws and drama, i finally started to pick and choose people super compatible and focus on them as a friend circle because those people have ZERO drama and judgement of me. After that point i could care less what incorrect, unfair and lie filled reputation the name lunar had with all the people who had zero loyalty with me. All i cared about was the people who had proven they were my friends.
so popularity and drama are linked and depending on popularity, drama is directly effected. my friends have no drama because they like me, my few blood enemies are full of drama with which i isolate myself from them for, and everyone else which tend to be 95% of the local group. i keep at a distance or arms length depending if they are non-hostiles i like the company of, or un-loyals who i have never tried to be friends with because they are too different.
It is amusing how your perspective changes when you stop caring what others think, control your mouth and your act/react. It tends to be when you find out who your friends really are. I am nothing but pleasant company these days (to which many new friends i have made agree) and anyone who thinks i am not is living in past misconceptions. These are some of the happiest moments of my life and the most stable and anxiety/stress free my life has ever been. I owe it all to finally manning up and learning to shut my mouth, ignore what nasty folks choose to say, and be nothing but good to people. The ironic karma was that i had to endure a year worth of attacks from a bully i couldn't escape easily, and it was that experience that made me so tight with who my real friends turned out to be. The more he made me feel isolated, the more i clung tighter onto my friends and formed life long friendships. i give loyalty freely to anyone who invests in me, but I only reward those who honor loyalty back. Loyalty to me means things like; talking to me in an indoor voice, being tolerant of my flaws as i do not judge theirs, having stable predictable personalities that are reliable and not zero-100 anger switches, and above all else... telling the truth.
True of life. you need to be good to others for them to want to be good back and those that do have proven themselves. but often times furs look at drama popularity and are so quick to judge others. i have lived through all these things so i know them to be true and i prey others do not need to endure the trials i have. some days i wonder if it could have gone either way. i could have let them destroy me several times over. Instead it all made me stronger. which was a very good thing to be when suddenly multiple family members are dieing in hospitals and you need to be strong enough to handle that. Then again, i have handled such serious things many times in my life.
I'll let it be known in advance that I'm neutral on the topic and reading drama related topics from an observation deck some 20 metres away from and above ground zero.
Hence I guess some people may interpret the Furry Potluck event that's burning up in the other side of the forums as potential drama.
Booyeah. Wading into a controversial subject on my first day on these forums. What can I say? I'm a daredevil.
I've got theories on various aspects of the furry fandom that I've created out of nothing more than a keen interest in looking like I know what I'm talking about. Drama is no exception and I think I've got a fairly solid "Cause/Effect" relationship built up as to why furry drama is so much more prevelant than other group's drama. Lets face it, you don't get web spanning drama out of a dog walking group. The fandom though? Stuff here can fester for years.
Kefka, though I still hold him patently responsible for burning my house down with his tower-based deathlaser, made a valid point when he mentioned the defense mechanisms of people when they turn to the fandom for support and are immediately shot down. My view has always taken it a step further though into the root of what the fandom is. A catch-all of people with various social backgrounds under the vague umbrella of "anthropomorphic appreciation". This theory does contain some "offensive" elements as it relies on a brash generalization of the fandom which I use solely for the purpose of creating a coherent argument... I acknowledge it is a generalization, and is inherently flawed because of that, and suggest you read it as such.
Why do people join the fandom? I mean, the anthropomorphic art is nice. But its been my experience that the majority of people in the fandom have a degree of social awkwardness about them. This often isn't their fault however and like anyone else they want to make friends and fit in somewhere. Enter, the fandom; An initially friendly seeming place with no 'joining requirements' needed to sign up for a forum such as this one, and make friends who have similar interests as you. The fandom is a wonderful example of the power the internet has to help people with social disorders get out of their house. However, the emotional baggage inherent in these social disorders are often brought along with them.
The defensive mechanisms mentioned by Kefka (I love being able to type that by the way) come into play when the individuals, having found a place they belong, are suddenly confronted with the ghosts of their past: social dysfunction. A fur who was picked on in high school comes to the fandom looking for acceptance, and perhaps he finds it, but that acceptance is suddenly threatened when someone else calls him out on something. When this happens the individual, happy but still insecure due to low self-esteem or social paranoia, reacts to defend their position within the group... namely by trying to make the other person look back as well. Now... mulitply this effect by the number of other furs who see their friend, either Fur "A" or Fur "B", suddenly battling for their social standing. The thing snowballs, feelings are hurt, names are called and at the root is the fear of being ostracized from the group... in many cases, a repeat of what happened in High School/Primary School/Whatever. Of course that's ridiculous looking at it from the outside, but that's why drama always seems kind of silly unless you're directly involved in it. Self-esteem is a fickle beast and brings out the best, and worst, in all of us. Too little and we're emotional wrecks, too much and we're arrogant jerks. Aristotle's ideas on virtues (The Golden Mean) is probably the best way to look at it. Look it up sometime, it's a fun read.
As for why everyone gets involved in drama but then says they're sick of drama?
It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, and even easier to drag that moment out if you feel you, or one of your friends, are being threatened. At the end of the day though, if you buy into my theory on the fandom being a catch-all for people who simply don't fit in anywhere else, that underlying lack of self-worth or perhaps social confidence leads to regret. They'll fight hard to protect their position, then immediately feel they're terrible people for fighting hard. This is especially true if, after everyone's cooled off, they manage to realize that whatever they're fighting about was ridiculous.
: Meer April 26, 2012, 01:06:15 -06:00
Kefka, though I still hold him patently responsible for burning my house down with his tower-based deathlaser...
this made me laugh like a little girl inside ~te he he~
~grows macro and does a Godzilla rampage~ "Ima firing my laser beams! BLAAAAA"
te he
~hugs new guy~ YEA NEW GUY!
you are like ashitaka, "see with eyes unclouded by hate"
this is why i like new guys ^^ they don't talk to you with tone and abruptness and inpatients that clearly underlines their loathing for you which is years outdated XD. they see not the past they were not involved with but rather the awesome individual i am today which shall always attempt to do no harm
~tail swishes innocently and hides his death laser behind his back~
ha ha
at any rate don't get me wrong on the depth of my words above. i am a rather bouncy easy going fellow these days and just speak to share my wisdom of experiences. at the end of a day our experiences are the brunt of our points of view. that Is all i said above was, "a point of view"; and there is no right or wrong about any of it. Chances are if i didn't out, a post like this would just spark drama. which apparently is what i am known for. "being taken completely out of context of my most humble meanings" lol. ~misrepresented wolf~ is my greatest crime in life lol, if only people had a direct line into my brain. ~smirk~ ... oh wait.. i write books for that sort of thing XD
i guess the big moral to all my bark was that "people tend to cause drama the moment they mistake someones point of view as true or false by forcing it to stand beside their own and then steeping over the red line to publicly say so. doing so right or wrong makes both people look silly. one becomes the dummy who bravely offered up his pov and one becomes the ass that shot it down because it threatened his own pov ^^/
if we respect everyone's pov and aren't so hot headed and itchy to tear them apart, we would live in a peaceful world.
Hence I guess some people may interpret the Furry Potluck event that's burning up in the other side of the forums as potential drama
That's not drama it is just a creepy horrible accident. Drama is just people bitching about stupid shit, what happened at the potluck is a real problem.