I have a suspicion one of my coworkers may be a fur.
She has a conspicuous habit of meowing while performing certain tasks, and last night when she got frustrated about something she hissed in a very feline way.
As most of my experience meeting furs has been online or at organized furry gatherings like meets and cons, I'm not really sure how best to approach this. I'm wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with friends or coworkers and could give some help here.
Im not normally one for advice, but you could always do subtle things leading to one another. Asking them if they like art, what kind they do like maybe. It might not work, and in some cases some people might like furry things but the word itself is dirty to them.
I just throw it right out there.
"Wow. You're totally a furry."
Then gauge their reaction. You don't need to say that YOU'RE a furry, but depending on how they react, you can roll with it. If they get all offended, then joke about it and be like, "Seriously, though... the whole cat thing, could have SWORN..." When asked why you know so much about furries, you can either go balls out and say that you are one (I typically have no problems saying so, but most people like to keep it under wraps), or you can be like, "Oh come on, everyone knows who they are... they had a thing (convention) in Burnaby last month, it was in the paper and everything."
If her reaction kinda leans more toward curiosity or bashfulness, you can prod her a little more about it, but do so in a way that makes you seem sympathetic towards furries, and not prying or teasing.
Hehe, I've done this before. Usually I just throw it right out there, being like, "Look: you're a fur, or you're not. You can fucking tell me, because I AM one." But if you wanna be a little more covert about it, just poke and prod and get the issue out there. If she's not, she'll either act like she honestly doesn't know what you're talking about, and ask you what a furry is and be all like, "Well that's kinda weird/interesting," or she'll be like, "Oh god, no," and may possibly get a little offended. If she is, she could act like you just discovered her dirtiest little secret and ask you to keep it quiet, or she could play the duck and PRETEND to not know what you're talking about (which is usually really easy to pick up on), in that case she could also get offended that you're prying and not want to speak on the subject. Everyone's different. I've cracked people open on this subject a couple times and it's usually quite entertaining. =P
Id go with Naetholix's advice.
Aye, I can understand your suspicions. Another circumstance that may entail higher risks of embarrassment in terms of being a socially awkward penguin would be the fact that not just furries wear, say, fox-eared caps and all that. xP
I've thought about using Naetholix's method, but my work environment (a kitchen) can get tense and uncomfortable enough already without the fallout of that conversation turning wrong.
: Carthage April 08, 2012, 03:46:13 -06:00
I've thought about using Naetholix's method, but my work environment (a kitchen) can get tense and uncomfortable enough already without the fallout of that conversation turning wrong.
Try to catch her after work?
If you can catch her at some point while on a break or outside of work, make a mention you heard her making some 'cat like' noises and was wondering why. If you generally do say anything about your being Furry at work, for whatever reason, you don't have to make a mention about it.
I don't really think there is any perfect way to go around asking. Just use your own judgment.
This is exactly why we need some sort of secret pawshake. =P
You could broach the subject more subtly, perhaps, by chatting with her about art, as someone noted, but slip in mentions of, say, graphic novels. If she's into cats, have a copy of Blacksad happen to be in your bag one day and mention it if you get the opportunity (and you have a copy...). You wouldn't have to go straight to hardcore furry stuff...
Out of curiosity, have you tried meowing back?
I love this thread.
I liked reading through this and imagining she turns out to be furry, winds up on this forum, and reads this thread. I really hope that happens.
c:
edit: Also, I wouldn't be "accusal" in approach, like 'Hey you're a furry aren't you!', especially because these cat mannerisms you've described could be nothing. and by be nothing I mean she could of picked them up without any actually affinity to anthropomorphism that furries have. I know a few girls and women who do things a little cat-ish, it's kinda just a thing for some people. But I've never met or seen this individual, so she might be a HUGE furry. Benefit of furry comradery in the work place versus threat of dynamic fall out?
I would mention it because the worst I see happening is she knows what it is but isn't one, in which case I don't think she'd be all that offended if she likes pretending to be a cat a little.
Edit edit: meow back
right after you catch her making a meow, ask her what kind of cat she is. she replies the type of cat or with a "WHAT!!" you then say you heard her meow so you figured she thought she was a cat, and you wondered what type of cat she was. before she can answer, take a guess. she will then tell you because you guessed wrong, or totally deny she is one. either way you have opened the door for further conversations.