Firstly, I apologize for the length of this post, as I want to let people know I have no evil intentions
Secondly, I apologize if I made anyone feel uneasy about my previous topic "Some Questions", I was merely trying to get better understanding of what furry was to more people, as I had only talked to one furry before coming here. It was only my intent to understand as I feel I may be one, and feel I stepped on a lot of tails with those questions.
I had no idea how bad the media plays furry off as a joke, as I don't fully partake in the media. I have a tendency to write as formal as I can when I first talk to new people. As I had no idea how bad things had gotten between media and furries, I wouldn't think my formality would trip any alarms as to make you think I was here to twist words for a cheap buck. If I felt like I knew the community, I would've most likely dropped the all of the fancy, schmancy media sounding talk.
Once I begin to understand things here, and when people know what I mean, I'll be more informal and might get too relaxed and slip a swear word in. Because, like you, I don't want to have my words skewed, and wind ticking off people. That's the reason I was asking questions, as I don't want to do or say something that could bring more headache and grief to an already reeling community. The last thing I want to do is to put more fuel on the already raging fire.
I hope to gain some of your trust back, as I feel some of you are already to the point of avoiding me all together. I have no ties to media, and doubt I ever will. After I found out the media situation, I could understand why some of you freaked out when you saw my questions, written as they were. I understand if some of you don't talk to me for a bit, as it can be hard to trust just anyone.
I would to send a shout out to those who did answer, at a great risk of exposing themselves, to help me better understand what furry means to them. Sometimes, there will be someone like me who just wants to know if they can be a part of this community, and may seem like an imposter, but just lacks a better knowledge of the culture.
Thank you
oh, I don't think you need to worry so much; we all still like you :-3
I appreciate the reassuring response.
I can tell you, my run-in with those calling themselves furries hasn't always been good, I remember back when I was playing PGR3, I would join a room that not only had a great signal, but a gamertag that indicated that the host might be furry, My assumption was correct, but they did not act on the best interest of furries everywhere, degrading "humans", granted, I wasn't so open when I stated on xbox live, so i didn't say anything, because I had pretty much no info on furry at that time. I kept joining a few times in the few weeks, to see if maybe the first time was just an off day. but time and time again, the same thing, ran off the track, calling anyone not furry an idiot. but at the time, I did not have my friend from La. so i had no real way of knowing what furry was beyond what this guy and his friend were doing.
I think it was a setback for me personally, as I was being treated poorly by this person, a furry treating me badly, I feel it was somewhat my fault for not speaking up and saying I would like to know more, but from his actions, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't share any info anyways had I said anything. In any situation, I was starting to doubt myself about being furry also because his other fur-iends didn't exactly tell him to stop when he ran me off-track and said I was a bad driver, granted, I wasn't as good back then as I am now, still no pro, but better now. So if you could imagine a couple of furries (around 2-3, depending who was there) pretty much harassing you. Needless to say, it wasn't the start I needed to get going
I honestly think you're putting too much thought into "joining the community". Furry isn't an exclusive club where you have to be vetted by the members and your motivations put under a magnifying glass. If you want to and have the interest, just claim the label.
As I've said, furries are a large, diverse bunch with lots of different attitudes, approaches, and motivations. There are cool people and there are jerks, as you point out in your second message. It's a mistake to assume it's a completely cohesive group where everyone is moving in the same direction and has the same feelings about everything.
I don't have anything against you. You made a statement in one of your posts that I was pretty unimpressed by (i.e., the whole "furries are the new gays/blacks" thing), but I said as much and I think you understood why I was annoyed, so if you got that, no harm done.
It's best to start off with some set of formalities when you introduce yourself in any circumstance, furry or not, so there's nothing wrong with that sort of tendency.
Like I said, I enjoyed talking and sharing my points with you, but having said that, "reeling" might not be a good term to describe the community in general. Just because our interests, identity, hobby, you name it, gets battered down doesn't mean we should give up on our afore-mentioned senses above.
I couldn't put it better than Silvermink in terms of just how diverse the furry community is.
I still feel bad for giving that impression. I wasn't trying to equate the struggles, it was more on how the media made targets out of them.
Maybe reeling was a little strong, but it can be a setback when you get hit with bad PR. Sure you're not just gonna say "screw this I'm done" after any or every setback, but it can be discouraging to think there's going to be progress made, usually, right after a bad PR incident. Progress will always be made, but bad incidents can take their toll.
Personally, I'm the kinda guy that second-guesses himself, has fears that can be hard to deal with at times, and yes, I do have a tendency to over-think things, sometimes stupid little things. I'm looking for acceptance from peers, a pack if you will. I should've made an introduction but I didn't know what I would say. The fact the you guys don't want to "go all aggro on me" is a relief.
I know now that the guys on the game were just being jerks, again thanks in part to my La. "fur"iend, who helped me realize that. and hopefully I can make some "fur"iends out of you
Slivermink you said "If you want to and have the interest, just claim the label". The thing is I don't want to misuse the label, that's why I've seemed all uptight.
: bigjonesb April 07, 2012, 02:04:33 -06:00"fur"iend
I cringe every time you say that. XD
: zenia April 07, 2012, 02:24:35 -06:00
I cringe every time you say that. XD
"Murr" is worse >.=.<
How about 'Scritches'?
heh Furry specific words aren't so bad, it is when you mutilate a regular word to make it furry. XDD Just don't go to the Fur Affinity forums and use those words. They'd jump all over ya.
: bigjonesb April 07, 2012, 02:04:33 -06:00Slivermink you said "If you want to and have the interest, just claim the label". The thing is I don't want to misuse the label, that's why I've seemed all uptight.
IMO, if you want to call yourself a furry and you have the interest, you aren't misusing the label. That's really all that's required.
See, that's why I'm here, I didn't know "Fur-iend" was something that made people cringe, now I know not to use it. I don't know a lot of the specific lexicon, and assumed it was normal talk. I know now to avoid merging words in such fashion.
I have read a lot of your post and Have been following your topics (thou I have not spoken up until now).
Just be yourself. be happy enjoy the company of others, if you want to know what the commuinty is like come to some of the events held.
Evfery tuesday is sushi Night (its listed on the Calendar) there is a number of us that go there to just enjoy ones company and to make new friends and to get to know one another better and are group for that event is growing!! ^.^ we welcome all kinds to come, be you Furry or Human. we welcome with open arms. there are more events happening everyday that I think would give you a better light and a better understanding of the commuinty just by going.
CampFur is coming Up soon as well ^.^
you know something. You remind me of myself years ago when I was 14 (im 30 now) when I found that I loved play a Animal Character a wolf at that time but granted I never did know about the Furries then, I found out about the furries years later when I was 20. and my very first intruduction to the fandom was FC 07 my first day going to a con was Scarey and over welming, but after teh first day I relaxed and opened up and oh my did I have the time of my life, I was able to be myself, I made so many new friends that we are still friends to this day. as well as I ment people I knew from my childhood that I was Like wow. in short I was the happiess I had ever been in a long time...
ya there was things I came across in the fandom that I was not so impressed with but that just goes to say every fandom, every event, every group, any place of event held people, in the world furry or not with have bad press, or black sheep. but if you can look passed the bad you will see more good. ( just look at the news, and everyone will agree with this, : there is always more bad news said and shown everywhere you look. Thou Good is far more around us. but as a people we all want to see and read the bad. there is more good in this world its just we Like to see the bad. )
this is why dont Google furry, you will be hard pressed to find a Lot of good on that search. and unless you know what to search your outcome will be 70% wrong x.x
myself. Im a furry and I have been asked so much what is it, and its always the hardest question to answer, because we all are different.
you Ask "what is a furry to you?" and you ask that to 20 people. you will get 20 different answers. because if you are asking the question to yourself. "what is a furry to ME?" its what comes from your heart not your mind.
but the best way I can say to you is. if you feel it within. then you are. come to the events we all love to have new people/furs come join us, its a great way to learn new things and make new friends :)
Koda Otter
I don't want to bore you with the details of my life, but I been pretty much a "loser" all my life. NO real life friends nearby, No girlfriend, and roughly 10 and a half years from now, I could replace Steve Carrell as 40 year old virgin, but you'd have to replace all the action figures with 1:18 car models, lol. But really, I am my worst critic
It's not that I wouldn't join in on some events and absorb more of the culture, but the fact I live here in Kamloops, and most stuff happens on the coast, and with no car and not a lot of money, I'm unfortunately pretty much held down here. I wouldn't mind going to the campfur event, just to go camping, not to mention a chance properly understand furries. And the sushi thing sounds like it would be good.
There are a few furries in Kamloops if I remember correctly.
I live on the Island (Nanaimo) and not much happens around here either. :P But hanging out on the forums is nice. Just be yourself and don't worry about what you might think "all furries" do or whatever to try and be more like what you think the standard might be... 'cause there is none. :)
I love being on here, as some of you have been a great help. I think I am beginning to understand what furry is. I think I was expecting a finer definition, or some small, tiny form of expectations. I'm not sure exactly why. If I properly understand things, if some people were to just ignore the bad PR, and got the proper info, they would find out they are part of it too.
I think I'm beginning understand why there's a hatred towards media, this is just my theory though, it sounds like the furry community is open to everyone willing and wanting to a part of it, but the media makes it sound like there are requirements to join.
: Naetholix April 07, 2012, 03:04:07 -06:00
"Murr" is worse >.=.<
Aww cmon man, Murr is way better than the arbitrary tagging of the word "fur" onto any word to make it suddenly furry (that shit makes me shit glass) :P Now excuse me while I continue to type the rest of this post on my Furputer, maybe later I will grab a furpachino from furbucks, if I can afford to get there because of the furking gas prices, but anyways back to my post on this furum lol...
Bigjonesb: Hmmm reading over at many of your later posts here I get the impression you are focusing too hard on trying to fit some sorta definition of what a furry is. Furry isn't something that one studies or practices like a religion or something, its really just something you feel, think of it as just another thing you can partake in and enjoy at your leisure. I still stand by my previous posts regarding just exploring more. Some furs just start out as lurkers then get to feeling "ya know.. this is kinda interesting.." Anyone can go from nothing to uber-fur in no time at all, its just how invested you personally feel in things like having a furry alter-ego, art, friends, fursuits and just plain having fun.
: Drake Wingfire April 07, 2012, 11:50:28 -06:00
Aww cmon man, Murr is way better than the arbitrary tagging of the word "fur" onto any word to make it suddenly furry (that shit makes me shit glass) :P Now excuse me while I continue to type the rest of this post on my Furputer, maybe later I will grab a furpachino from furbucks, if I can afford to get there because of the furking gas prices, but anyways back to my post on this furum lol...
Excuse me while I crack up with laughter. xD
I guess the people pleaser in me desperately wants to find a definition or a set of rules as to annoy as few as possible, and my logical mind is scrambling to find one, causing me to look for something that doesn't truly exist
I was just re-reading your post Koda (#Warning# this gets long). Actually you would be correct in some way, although you had the guts to get started sooner. I always had a thing for dogs, wolves and pretty much anything canine-like, I can even remember the first dream I had that could even be considered furry, I just can't remember the year, I'd say I was 10 maybe, possibly younger. I used to think there might be something wrong with me because I had these recurring thoughts, these foreign, alien thoughts, What were these thought, me having dogs ears and a tail, looking like a dog in some way.
I didn't really have a computer strong enough for internet until one of my grandfathers passed away, and left me the money to get one. Although I can't remember exactly the year, it was after having internet I came across an furry image after image searching to find whatever it was I was looking for. It was the first time I understood what my foreign, alien thoughts were, I wasn't messed up or screwy in the head, I was thinking furry.
When I was having trouble with my computer a few years back, The computer guy said to try Firefox, as the computer was having all-out duel between IE and Netscape, I was thinking, Firefox, ...fox, a fox remind me of wolves and dogs, hell yeah, I'll go for it. still loving the fox now, I know more people are migrating to Chrome, but I can't break it off with my fox, anyways back on track.
I was on MySpace back in it heydays, one day decided I'm go look at some furry discussions on MySpace, And came across the friend go on and on about, sorry if I annoy you guys with that part, anyways, He seemed like he could handle himself well if asked some question about furries. and he was willing to add me so I could ask said questions. that was the real last step which leads up to now...(the story continues to be written)
: Drake Wingfire April 07, 2012, 11:50:28 -06:00
Aww cmon man, Murr is way better than the arbitrary tagging of the word "fur" onto any word to make it suddenly furry (that shit makes me shit glass) :P Now excuse me while I continue to type the rest of this post on my Furputer, maybe later I will grab a furpachino from furbucks, if I can afford to get there because of the furking gas prices, but anyways back to my post on this furum lol...
: Tef April 08, 2012, 01:27:54 -06:00
Excuse me while I crack up with laughter. xD
I had a laugh at that too, even I as much as a newb as I am, i wouldn't go that far. especially laughed at furpachino, it's sounds like someone either passed gas or belched in to your coffee, Eeew!
This was the link that got me to push myself harder on the whole me being furry matter:
http://www.empowernetwork.com/Caroline/blog/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/ (http://www.empowernetwork.com/Caroline/blog/nurse-reveals-the-top-5-regrets-people-make-on-their-deathbed/)
Reading this and knowing I was going to be 30 by the end of the year and, (although I don't work, it's still a good one to read) I find myself echoing the same things about myself, Especially 1 and 5. I'm not gonna lie, I tear up a little reading this, knowing as every second slips by, I'm losing valuable ground to discover my true self. I don't want my life to be filled with a bunch of "woulda, coulda, shoulda" regrets.
At the very worst on the worst to best scale, I would like it to say "I at least tried", instead of "still wondering what could've been". but from what I've seen so far, it might not be necessary to go that far.
----UPDATE----
I just read the old email from that friend of mine, It was in 2008, he too stated the same thing,
Here's a excerpt from that email:
There is truly no exact science that says what defines a furry.
Its up to each person to decide for themselves what makes you a furry.
Honestly, i don't think that its such a big deal.
I believe that anyone who has an interest in the fandom, art, etc. is a fur.
That's just my opinion on the matter though.
He stated the same thing you guys did, but I had completely forgotten it, no wonder you guys were telling me to relax. I guess I was so caught up in the fear of talking to new people, my fear got the best of me, well if you excuse me, I have to go beat myself over the head lightly with a roll of toilet paper which is right next to me, because we ran out of kleenex
: zenia April 07, 2012, 09:06:37 -06:00Just be yourself and don't worry about what you might think "all furries" do or whatever to try and be more like what you think the standard might be... 'cause there is none. :)
Yes, this.
I was so worried that I might step on the wrong side of "Right & Wrong of being furry" I scared myself away a bit, I didn't want to say I'm furry, do something "wrong", and set back the furry culture. I didn't want to do that. But the "just be yourself" part, I can do real good
As great as it is to have my one friend, I only get to talk to him every couple of weeks, and doesn't really allow for a lot of conversation, and I don't want to just bombard him with questions every time we talk either. I don't want to give the impression he's only good for answering my questions, so I really don't talk often about it with him.
Which is why I came here, It's more relevant as it's more local. Things in Louisiana can be different from here in BC. And, also there are more people on here, so not only do I get more answers, but a quicker response to any questions. But I don't want to you guys to think you are only good for answers to my questions either.
I do plan on commenting on other posts besides my own, it's the fact that I had a BAD start on here, It's was turning into everything I feared, and nothing I was hoping for. Feeling like I was plugging holes in a old decrepit boat, I felt I had to damage control, but in some instances when i was plugging one hole, I unintentionally made another hole I had to fix, I felt I had just made a Titanic out of myself, and was sinking. But you people seem to understand what I getting at, so needless to say I'm beginning to feel afloat again.
I shut up now
I guess you could try attending an event or furmeet or something. I'm sure there are certain folks that would like to lend an ear to your thoughts.