You are now 'x' years old. As a child, your parents, rolemodels and friends all helped you shape into the person you are today. You learned morals, values, and now hold great importance towards your faith and spirituality.
But how do you feel? Are you happy with your life? Maybe there is more that you want to do, but feel that you can't do. Maybe you feel unaccomplished or you feel like a failure.
The reason why I bring this topic up is because..........I am not that happy with my life right now. Yes, I am only 18. I've done a lot with my life. Got my first job at the age of 13, made a considerably amount of money to buy what makes me happy. I learned great values at a young age and am happy to say I didn't go to drugs and alcohol to fix my problems. I feel I did a lot of hard work at a young age, and I am proud of that; however, I feel there is so much more. I'm even proud to say I have a fursuit.
To sum it all up, I am not happy living in B.C. This isn't the place where my family is. This wasn't the place where I grew up. I miss the whether in my hometown of Sudbury, Ontario. I miss the environment and the city. I miss the outdoors and the abundant lakes that surround it all. I have the oppertunity to move back, yet....I need more time to think.
Furs, do you miss your old life? Is your current life something you regret? Do you want change in your life?
I want to know your stories.
This is trippy, I was thinking about this a couple days back.
I am not happy with my life either. Despite my young age.
To simplify all of my issues, I don't know what to do with myself. At all.
I know what I don't want to do, I can spend hours dwelling on the things I'm not good at and the skills I lack.
However, I don't know how to go about finding a future myself.
People talk about their true calling like it's a simple thing you come across. I see it as something much more complex.
Funny, but when I was younger, I think I was more depressed about my life. Highschool, and even a short time after that. Relationship issues, felt like I wasn't going anywhere in life, wasn't happy that I moved away from all my childhood friends, ect.
I'm 25 now, but I can easily say I am happy with my life. It's not the best thing ever, but I've spent enough time depressed to know that being depressed is way less fun than happy. It's more an active "don't let it bother me" type thing... and I've started to meet some of my old friends now in Vancouver(grew up in Northern BC), as they have moved down.
I've gotten to meet some new and awesome people, I get to travel a lot which I love, have a job that pays well and I enjoy, and I get plenty of time to myself. I also happen to live in one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen in my life.
I'm getting a fursuit, I've taken up dancing a bit more, I'm doing a little working out, I get to go and hang out with friends a few times a week, and I have a family (if far away) I keep in contact with that love me for who I am(they know I am a furry).
Maybe I'm more gifted than others, or just it took time for me to get where I am now, but I had been depressed when I was younger a lot with how my life was/where it was going.
I'm almost 23. I've wasted 2 years of my 4 year degree. All the things I'm good at either pay for shite, have horrible job prospects, or both. I'm not creative, I have few possessions and less money. I'm almost 20k in debt. I can't dance. I don't associate with other furs because I'm afraid of people judging me. The only girlfriend I had was a psycho, and I'm confused about my sexuality which until recently wasn't a problem.
I'm terrified of the future. I'm scared to death of peak oil, dwindling freshwater reserves, that I'm part of Generation Fucked, and the fact that I'm powerless to do anything about it.
There is such a goddamn high mountain to climb and I can't even set up a base camp.
But I can read. I can think. I have two recommendations to grad school. I can cook professionally and damn well at that. I'm not even that unattractive anymore. I have awesome friends who care for me, and a family who love me. I understand that my fear of the future is natural, and the abyss of not being able to see into tomorrow looms under everyone that dare peek.
My friend and I were talking about humans and animals and the real difference between them. Quite poignantly, she said, "Regret. Animals can't feel regret." Humans are the only animals with interests beyond survival and basic comfort. And that great mass of cerebrum sitting on top of your lizard-brain complicates the fuck out of a lot of things. And it does it almost automatically. Regret, like guilt, is one of those (almost) useless emotions. Its there to give us hindsight, and help make better decisions in the future, but otherwise, its something to reflect briefly upon, note well, and drop.
I'm nineteen. I feel like I should be more satisfied than I am.
I've dealt with a LOT in my life. I'm currently struggling with both mental and physical illness, and never having enough to eat.
Still, I have some amazing friends. For the first time in my life I'm becoming happy with the person I am and the way I look. I love being able to say I'm part of a really great, caring, supportive community. I have my own little place, and my brother is out of the city, which means I no longer fear for my life or wellbeing. I've become extremely close to my mother, and have even stopped blaming myself for my dad's death. I have high hopes for seeing my mate this December.
Shit sucks, but at least I have all of you guys.
this has been plaguing me a lot lately too. I feel like everyone I know, or knew in highschool, is going somewhere, doing something that they want to do. Personally, I'm not really concerned with the pay of my career choice as I am personal fulfillment. I want to do something that I enjoy above all else, regardless of how much it pays. I also want to work for myself, because I hate having a boss, and to be honest, i'm not a good employee. I think for myself, so i'm an employer's worst nightmare. Also, working for myself, if there's some one who works at my facility that annoys the crap out of me, I can fire them. >:3
Though, admittedly, it took me a good two or three years after graduating high school to figure out what I want to do. And, being so young, I wouldn't count this as the life I've made for myself. Are you kidding? I'm still in the "party" years. You dont "make a life for yoursellf" until you've established a career. :p
But, I have a supportive family, a loving mate, and two adorable little boys that irritate the crap outta me love me to bits and give me smiles and hugs when i'm feeling down. It's not where I saw myself on the eve of my 22nd birthday when i was growing up, but ultimately, I wouldn't change it for the world. Unless i could change me winning the lottery. That I might do. But I'd keep everything else the same. :p
After I left high school I had a plan in my head of where I wanted to go with my life but circumstances and a lot of bad decisions unfortunately led to me going down a very different path.
Shortly after turning 23 I was laid off due to company downsizing. It shocked me into looking back on how I got to where I was. It depressed me greatly. I wasted 5 years of my life in a career I didn't want to be in, I was emotionally drained and looked very sickly from the turmoil of awful relationships and I had no special skills. In short I had accomplished virtually nothing. I had become a very bitter person and felt like a complete and total failure to myself and everyone around me. I still had support from friends and my family, which is what helped to keep me grounded.
Last year I resolved to stop wallowing in self-pity and start attaining goals and dreams I had after graduation. One of them was coming here to BC and it has changed my life for the better. I'm now 25. I have a decent social life, a job and enough means to live comfortably. Right now I'm happy with where I am. I don't miss my old life and I don't dwell on the regrets or wrong decisions I made. For me this a new start.
There is not a 5 day period where I do not think of my life back when I was 13-19yrs old seeing as in those years I discovered the fandom, discovered my sexuality, spirituality so many thing and so many firsts in my life, I miss the place I lived greatly and while I get the chance to visit it often (its pretty much an abandoned house now owned by my non-immediate family) I always wish I could go back and sorta "continue from where I left off" IE really just feeling at ease like I am where I need to be. But I know thats just cause that place is entrenched in so many shades of nostalgia and memories of happier times.
I guess it all happens with me cause I never had a real closure on that chapter of my life, it just abruptly ended and shit went down hill for so long shortly after.
The biggest kicker was my layoff 2 years ago, had a job I really liked (computer tech) for being a very early 20s guy at the time I was making good money ($11/hr) was a small single store operation and I got to know the owner and other staff pretty well... so naturally I trusted them a lot.. bad idea, eventually I got layed off because they decided to get very cheap very fast so it lead me to be unemployed at the worst time.. So before I knew it my $6000 bank account was running low, me EI ran out and I was on my last $500 and was forced to take out the few thousand I had saved for education... so now I got no education funds even though I did all I ever could to save my money and build up a nest-egg so to speak... all because I trusted and worked with the wrong type of people. That lead to me having a VERY bitter streak where I was constantly depressed cause I was going broke and was soon to be homeless.. Thankfully this has all more or less leveled out and I am working sadly a grocery store job not even making 1/2 as much as I did doing computers and I have never trusted managers/ business owners the same.. could almost say I would go as far to label many of them as back stabbing slave employers with the ethics they have.
While being laid off or fired sucks, you're not supposed to take it personally. No matter how much you trust them, or how close of friends you are, it's always just business. And it's always the person who's been there the least amount of time that's on the chopping block, unless they have some one who really sucks. I'm willing to bet that, had you asked, they would have been more than happy to provide you references, apologized about having to let you go, and wished you good luck. hell, even jobs I sucked at *cough*Dolby*cough* did that for me. Though whether or not I truly sucked or actually just finished everything my contract was supposed to cover early, i'll never know. Anyway, my point is, dont take layoffs personally, and never work for or hire friends/family, because they will always take it personally.
: EmoFox November 09, 2011, 05:28:47 -07:00
While being laid off or fired sucks, you're not supposed to take it personally. No matter how much you trust them, or how close of friends you are, it's always just business. And it's always the person who's been there the least amount of time that's on the chopping block, unless they have some one who really sucks. I'm willing to bet that, had you asked, they would have been more than happy to provide you references, apologized about having to let you go, and wished you good luck. hell, even jobs I sucked at *cough*Dolby*cough* did that for me. Though whether or not I truly sucked or actually just finished everything my contract was supposed to cover early, i'll never know. Anyway, my point is, dont take layoffs personally, and never work for or hire friends/family, because they will always take it personally.
Oh they gave me good refs and all, a few interviewers told me that actually. But still when you try to impress and go above and beyond (I did jobs even the older techs didn't wanna touch), for something like that to happen is still a massive slap in the face no matter how ya look at it. I was never "friends" per-say with the owner but still, people seemed to be people there, not typical manager types with wallets instead of brains and hearts.
But yeah the past is the past. I do have to agree to the general sentiment that one should never get too attached to a job, especially in today's society where you could easily be layed off and where it is very common for people to have gone through 5 or 6 jobs by their late 20s.
I'm less tired and more fiercely aware of how much construction it still needs, some to reclaim past talents and abilities, others to allow me to actually do some of the things I'd like to do in my life, while I don't necessarily have a bucket list I certainly do have a few big things to get done. Depending on recent progress dwelling on how much more needs to be done can be overwhelming or inspiring much like the larger problems of the world as a whole. When considering problems like peak oil, global warming, the next financial crash, etc it's easy to get overwhelmed and feel that it's hopeless but at the same time we see police in Albany refusing to crack down on protestors which is quite frankly inspiring. As much as humanity faces challenges and I face my own personal challenges there's nothing to fear in that as both have a chance to rise up to the occasion I try to make sure to remind myself of that when overwhelmed and it helps.
I guess I just feel... at peace with my life?
I've got at least one big regret that nags me all the time, who doesn't? But... It's not something that can be changed so I just don't really worry about it very often.
I just moved out on my own for the very first time, I really miss my brother and it's only starting to sink in that I won't have him around to play games and help me get through the slenderman videos. (lol) The only family I have in BC is at all is my dad's side of the family and I don't talk with him. (Not something I feel bad about either, though). I feel like I'm incredibly stressed but I can still sit down and put it into perspective for myself and only worry about one thing at a time. I'm glad I have the ability to do it because I know that most people can't.
There are little things that trouble me but when I look at the big picture? I certainly can't yet say that I'm proud of my life- no, not at all. But I'm happy with where I am and I have been for the past two or three years. I've still got a very long way to go.
: Roffo November 07, 2011, 01:04:43 -07:00
You are now 'x' years old. As a child, your parents, rolemodels and friends all helped you shape into the person you are today. You learned morals, values, and now hold great importance towards your faith and spirituality.
But how do you feel? Are you happy with your life? Maybe there is more that you want to do, but feel that you can't do. Maybe you feel unaccomplished or you feel like a failure.
The reason why I bring this topic up is because..........I am not that happy with my life right now. Yes, I am only 18. I've done a lot with my life. Got my first job at the age of 13, made a considerably amount of money to buy what makes me happy. I learned great values at a young age and am happy to say I didn't go to drugs and alcohol to fix my problems. I feel I did a lot of hard work at a young age, and I am proud of that; however, I feel there is so much more. I'm even proud to say I have a fursuit.
To sum it all up, I am not happy living in B.C. This isn't the place where my family is. This wasn't the place where I grew up. I miss the whether in my hometown of Sudbury, Ontario. I miss the environment and the city. I miss the outdoors and the abundant lakes that surround it all. I have the oppertunity to move back, yet....I need more time to think.
Furs, do you miss your old life? Is your current life something you regret? Do you want change in your life?
I want to know your stories.
you also miss the big nickle and the farty smell of the sulfur mines
I enjoy the life I've made for myself but if I didn't I would just have to make do and change it for the better!
: Purplexity November 18, 2011, 11:34:51 -07:00
you also miss the big nickle and the farty smell of the sulfur mines
I enjoy the life I've made for myself but if I didn't I would just have to make do and change it for the better!
Hehe yup! I actually do miss it.
You don't miss the weather, or the smell. You miss being that younger age.
Now you're just barely starting to have responsibilities. Just barely starting to have decisions that actually have impact-full results.
It'll get better after it gets a little worse.
: Ember November 20, 2011, 06:05:25 -07:00
You don't miss the weather, or the smell. You miss being that younger age.
Now you're just barely starting to have responsibilities. Just barely starting to have decisions that actually have impact-full results.
It'll get better after it gets a little worse.
Its rare that i agree with Ember, but I think he hit the nail on the head with this one.
: Roffo November 20, 2011, 04:28:25 -07:00
Hehe yup! I actually do miss it.
rofo i think your depression is more or les confinment. like trying to escape security of a at home situation.
try taking a chance a risk and dont let your assets hold u back. more assets u aquire the more settled u are.
rember u can have schooling the life u want and fun so dont think of just having one thing.
and when u would like to hang out with ppl rember to keep in mind every ones on there own path or journey.
any time u would like to hang out just let me know i live like 10 minutes away me and my dog walk the campbell river beach allot and go camping your welcome to join recreation
i see auron allot to and a few furry friends in campbell river every month
First mistake was saying that you wanted to hear people stories, because I love having the opportunity to talk haha.
I lived outside of a very small town in Nova Scotia. About 14km away from anything that resembled civilization. I was surrounded by forests of evergreens, birch and maple trees and the occasional marshland. Because of the iron in the ground, the water had a red hue to it, and the creek that ran through our 6.5 acre backyard got its name "Bloody Creek" from that fact.
I spent my free time roaming around the South Mountain range (They call it a mountain back east, but its more like a hill) on my fourwheeler, catching painted belly turtles, frogs, fireflies, snakes, you name it.
I miss the long, lazy days of summer back east. Simply everything about dusk was especially magic. We would sit on the back porch and just listen to the sounds of frogs and crickets, and even the howling of wolves at times.
Living in such a secluded area gave me an appreciation for quiet time, often spent paddling back country lakes, or exploring a new branch of logging road.
The lifestyle out there is much more laid back then here out west. The only place that even comes remotely close in being laid back and chill is Tofino and Ucluelet.
I actually teared up a bit hear while typing and reminiscing about it, and the fact is that I can't even begin to describe all the things about that place that made it home.
I have never felt that feeling since I moved back in 2005. I now live in Nanaimo underneath a computer store on one of the busiest streets, and the only good thing about it is my friends. I honestly can't stand this town, let alone city living.
I'm not necessarily a country boy, but I need to be away from big places. Hell, even a town of 30,000 people is too big for me.
So to answer the question of the OP, at this stage in my life, I am not where I want to be, and I'm not overly thrilled about it. But I am glad to say I am working to make get where I want to be. ^^
What I want more then anything is to one day find that warm feeling of home again, here on the West Coast. To have my home and fill it with friends and good times.
I can honestly say the only thing that has kept me from returning to Nova Scotia is the fact that BC's wilderness is truly wild and exciting. Where else can I hike in a dense rain forest, learn to surf one of the best spots in Canada, kayak through deep rock canyons, sit and relax in a secluded hot spring, or just go exploring all within a three hours drive. And that's just the island...
I think I can understand what you mean Roffo. There is a place, both real and in our past that maybe will never be what it once was, but it set the bar for an ideal way we'd like to live. What Ember said really made a lot of sense to my own story. A big part of being back east was not having the respnsibilities that I do now. The carefree aspect is something I really miss.
Great topic, and hopefully I didn't bore anyone to death haha.
-Tj