BC Furries

General Category => Help and Advice => : MurphyErasmus March 06, 2011, 08:21:15 -07:00

: No longer feeling safe at home.
: MurphyErasmus March 06, 2011, 08:21:15 -07:00
My brother, who has been arrested more than once, stolen and sold things like my ipod touch, and prides himself on being argumentative and aggressive, recently moved back into my house.

At the moment, I'm living under my mother's roof. I've been doing my best to find employment, but the simple truth is, I just don't have the time to make the kind of money it would take to pay my tuition and live on my own. Add to that the necessity of paying for prescription medication every couple of weeks, and I have a situation where it's absolutely my only option to live at home, if I want to earn my degrees.

In a year or so I hope to tranfer to SFU and maybe get a dorm room there, but for the moment, I'm living with an EXTREMELY dangerous eighteen-year-old boy, who (I might add) I am absolutely terrified of. I have habits of constantly looking for escape routes and hiding/stashing anything valuable or even remotely desirable - including food, socks, and even hangers for clothing - because of his attitude of self-importance and entitlement.

So, what the hell do I do? I can spend time out of the house but that increases the likelihood of my pets being abused and tortured (he used to abuse my poor turtle), and my stuff being stolen. I can spend time at home, but that increases the likelihood of me being beaten up or emotionally crushed.

Fml.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Renwaldo March 06, 2011, 08:53:26 -07:00
Call the cops and file for a restraining order.

What does your mother have to say about all this?
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: MurphyErasmus March 06, 2011, 08:59:40 -07:00
He was actually kick out in January, but because he can't hold down a job and he likes living for free, he's moved back in. Whenever I talk about him, she gets upset and defends him, saying things like "he's my child too" and "why should I compromise his comfort because you're uncomfortable with him in the house?"

This comes across badly - my mother is absolutely fantastic, and I love her to bits; she's my best friend. She just can't see what he does to people, including and especially her.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: RainRat March 06, 2011, 09:28:31 -07:00
Start posting/reading in the Rental/Housing forum, to keep your options open. Or maybe some relative will take you in.

You might qualify for some emergency shelter/housing assistance. A service like Kids Help Phone might be able to hook you up with some assistance.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Unition March 06, 2011, 10:39:24 -07:00
Find someone bigger than he is to scare him/rough him up a little.

Alternatively, crate up anything you care about/your pet turtle and move them to a local furry's place for a while, and spend as much time out of the house as you can.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: MurphyErasmus March 06, 2011, 11:24:05 -07:00
I'm definitely considering finding another place to live - if I can work out a deal with my mother that means I keep getting my tuition money and my medications, I *might* be able to rent a single room, or something.

Yay, time to trawl the housing board ...
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Ravenwood March 07, 2011, 01:03:37 -07:00
: Unition  March 06, 2011, 10:39:24 -07:00
Find someone bigger than he is to scare him/rough him up a little.

Alternatively, crate up anything you care about/your pet turtle and move them to a local furry's place for a while, and spend as much time out of the house as you can.

This, both counts.

One guy that's bigger and a lot meaner than him, or at least can play the part to have a four-letter word with him and put him in his place.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Sevrin March 07, 2011, 06:20:18 -07:00
if you absolutely need to get out right now my door is open to you, my building has some ridiculous rules but my door is open nonetheless.

you're a great person in a bad situation. I hate to see people suffer and I will do what I can to help.
furries are like family... at least that's what I think.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: OryxFox March 07, 2011, 09:00:58 -07:00
I'd like to offer my services, as I am big tall and scary when dealing with human slag.  Please see my PM for more info.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: MurphyErasmus March 08, 2011, 04:01:43 -07:00
You guys are all so supportive and amazing.

Sevrin, if I'm ever physically threatened by him again I may have to take you up on that offer. In the meantime, I'm speaking to a counselor and his probation officer.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Foxxphyre March 09, 2011, 12:25:30 -07:00
Likewise... ninja skills at your disposal.  Unfortunately, I don't have a place for you to stay at the moment... but I got your back!
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Pat The Fox March 09, 2011, 05:23:53 -07:00
: Unition  March 06, 2011, 10:39:24 -07:00
Find someone bigger than he is to scare him/rough him up a little.

Alternatively, crate up anything you care about/your pet turtle and move them to a local furry's place for a while, and spend as much time out of the house as you can.
: Ravenwood  March 07, 2011, 01:03:37 -07:00
This, both counts.

One guy that's bigger and a lot meaner than him, or at least can play the part to have a four-letter word with him and put him in his place.

To be a bit honest, the suggestion of using physical threats are not very good options in my opinion.

If you are dealing with someone who feels entitled or potentially has a very cocky and unstable personality this could easily end up with someone getting hurt.

Threatening to harm him and being larger than him may cause a weapon to be intoduced in to the situation. Add that with tempers and potentially pride being wounded, the weapon then could very well get used. The kicker is if you were actually threatening or suggesting that he might come to harm, he might have a valid case for self defence depending on how far he went.

If there is a suggestion of violence may be committed, use the avenue of his probation officer and the police.
: Re: No longer feeling safe at home.
: Foxxphyre March 10, 2011, 02:17:02 -07:00
: Pat The Fox  March 09, 2011, 05:23:53 -07:00
To be a bit honest, the suggestion of using physical threats are not very good options in my opinion.

If you are dealing with someone who feels entitled or potentially has a very cocky and unstable personality this could easily end up with someone getting hurt.

Threatening to harm him and being larger than him may cause a weapon to be intoduced in to the situation. Add that with tempers and potentially pride being wounded, the weapon then could very well get used. The kicker is if you were actually threatening or suggesting that he might come to harm, he might have a valid case for self defence depending on how far he went.

If there is a suggestion of violence may be committed, use the avenue of his probation officer and the police.

Too right.  Also, public shaming/ridicule.