H-hi, guys. I've recently been feeling kinda lonely, and looking for a mate.
I guess... If anyone in the lower mainland is looking for someone, I'm here. Male only, age 15-18.
Or any advice you could give would mean the world to me. I should quit typing before I change my mind and back out... I'm way too shy for this...
It was really hard to type that twice. I can only hope they don't move it again... :/
I'd like to give you advice... but I am 28 and have never had a significant other. lol
Right.... Advice...
You will not find a mate on the internet. At least until you're 18 and can use dating sites. For a homosexual, this is unfortunately horrible because in high school the majority of gays don't advertise.
You're in...grade 10? 11?
I'll tell you a secret: very few people in high school have relationships, let alone have sex. You're just noticing them because you're focusing on it.
Get some friends, hang out, cherish the moments you have in high school, and then get out, get to post-secondary and start fucking blokes. You're not alone, and it gets better as you get older. I'm dead serious with that. Don't give up, you're only 15, and you have all the time in the world.
You gotta love yourself before you love another, bro. :p
Forging a relationship in a desperate need to not feel so lonely is weak and doomed to either fail, or lock you both in a spiral of co-dependence.
The real relationships happen by chance, not by forcing them.
Oh, and please be very careful with this stuff on the Internet, for all of our sakes :)
PM me if you need someone to talk to.
: terutt March 01, 2011, 03:44:38 -07:00
I'll tell you a secret: very few people in high school have relationships, let alone have sex. You're just noticing them because you're focusing on it.
Get some friends, hang out, cherish the moments you have in high school, and then get out, get to post-secondary and start fucking blokes. You're not alone, and it gets better as you get older. I'm dead serious with that. Don't give up, you're only 15, and you have all the time in the world.
Sex is -very- low on my list of priorities/interests. It never has posed a huge appeal to me. Unfortunately for me, a relationship has. The only problem is, I want to be with a furry. That's the only reason I came to the internet at all. I'm in personal contact with only one furry, so my field is limited there.
: terutt March 01, 2011, 03:44:38 -07:00
Get some friends, hang out, cherish the moments you have in high school, and then get out, get to post-secondary and start fucking blokes. You're not alone, and it gets better as you get older. I'm dead serious with that. Don't give up, you're only 15, and you have all the time in the world.
I agree. And if youu do find out someone is interested in you, and your interested in them one day, than it happens it happens. Imagine focusing on not having what you want for...say....3, 4, maybe 5 years of your life? It would get very depressing.
My advice is instead of looking for someone, look for events to meet people!
The internet isn't very forgiving when it comes to dating........your best chance is to seek people in reality, find events, look for friends first, connect with people then see what happens!
Fella, you're only 15!! Things like this shouldn't be a big deal where you're at right now in life and it's something that really frustrates me about younger furs.
There's no rush to be with someone and I'll tell you right now, if your mentality is to throw yourself at all and sundry that come your way and hope someone bites, that isn't even remotely healthy and you'll only attract the worst types. Also coming off as insecure and desperate will do nothing to help you, they're incredibly unbecoming traits.
As has been suggessted you've got to learn to love yourself, before you love another and the only way you're going to do that is to focus on yourself right now. Get out there in the world and enjoy life. Do activites you enjoy, hang out with folk off the net, don't limit yourself simply to furs and the internet.
If you just sit there in front of a computer all day, everyday and keep isolating yourself, you're only going to get lonelier.
: Dallas March 01, 2011, 01:04:31 -07:00
If you just sit there in front of a computer all day, everyday and keep isolating yourself, you're only going to get lonelier.
I don't own a computer. I haven't for months, and I gotta say, I don't miss it. (Though I may be getting a new one soon anyway.) I spend the vast majority of my time in a group 4 or more people, either freerunning or playing pen-and-paper games. I don't isolate myself, and isolation is one thing I hate above most else.
I don't isolate myself, and isolation is one thing I hate above most else.
With that being the case Moonlight, then enjoy your friends, get out and meet other and not worry at this time about a mate, there is still plenty of time for that. Keep active in the neighborhood and community, I wish there were more furry events out your way that you could attend. So any furries out towards Moonlight's way, please see if you can get some events happening for those who can not make it to town.
Yeah man, you're young. I was dating and getting involved with shenanigans from about your age and... well, lets just say in the long run it fucked my head for a while. My best memories aren't from a significant other... they're from all the crazy stuff my good friends and I did. I don't talk to any of my highschool relationships (hardly)... but I still have some solid friendships.
If you want to hang out with furs... hang out with furs! Don't go lookin for a mate... they just happen when you're living your truth. Also... where do you guys go free-running? ;D
: Foxxphyre March 01, 2011, 08:03:41 -07:00
Also... where do you guys go free-running? ;D
Hehe. We're not very good, but all over Maple Ridge.
Ah frack... I can't really transit out there...
Foxx, there is a group of free runners in Vancouver, in the summer you can see them a lot of the time by stadium station or under the Georgia Via-duct by the skate board park there.
Well, another night of intense thought, drawing, and insomnia, and I've come to realize just how right you guys are. Having a relationship seems glorious and appealing to me, but all that glitters is not gold, and you are all right to say that a relationship is likely a bad idea, especially if I seek it. There's so much I need to find out, but unfortunately, nobody here is capable of helping me in that aspect, I'll have to rely on my two best friends for that. Thank you all so much for what you've given to me, it really has impacted my life in a huge way.
What I'm about to say I mean in the kindest, most helpful way that I can based on what I've learned about relationships and loneliness:
Get used to being alone.
I know, that may sound quite negative and arrogant, but my explanation is that there will always be a time in your life where the people around you aren't paying attention to you and you will be alone. You will one day find someone to love and you may spend months or years with that person. To deny the fact that it might not last for ever is foolish; people change and things can always turn out different from how you want them to. You will experience loneliness many times throughout your life even when you have many friends.
Learn how to deal with loneliness. Learn how to keep yourself busy and productive and happy--or at least content--until the time comes where you are able to share your experiences with another human being. People are attracted to the person who is confident and happy with themselves, and that will be the best way to find love. If you can learn to deal with loneliness so that you remain content and sociable, you will find that opportunities will present themselves to you sometimes without even having to work towards them.
Oh man i know what its like to be lonely... my cute wolf boy moved to the mainland so im left on the island alone... but he will be back in the summer!
: Naetholix March 06, 2011, 10:44:01 -07:00
What I'm about to say I mean in the kindest, most helpful way that I can based on what I've learned about relationships and loneliness:
Get used to being alone.
I know, that may sound quite negative and arrogant, but my explanation is that there will always be a time in your life where the people around you aren't paying attention to you and you will be alone. You will one day find someone to love and you may spend months or years with that person. To deny the fact that it might not last for ever is foolish; people change and things can always turn out different from how you want them to. You will experience loneliness many times throughout your life even when you have many friends.
Learn how to deal with loneliness. Learn how to keep yourself busy and productive and happy--or at least content--until the time comes where you are able to share your experiences with another human being. People are attracted to the person who is confident and happy with themselves, and that will be the best way to find love. If you can learn to deal with loneliness so that you remain content and sociable, you will find that opportunities will present themselves to you sometimes without even having to work towards them.
What you said has got to be the most correct, yet most inaccurate response I've gotten, but I suppose I'm not explaining this properly.
I have a hard time trusting anybody, because I see relationships (NOT dating, mundane relationships) differently than most of my peers do. I see friendship as something not to change, something to last. People come and go so fast, it's almost blinding. The only person left that I trusted has been getting on my nerves and shortening my temper recently, and I really don't know what to do. The people who introduced me to my hobbies, the people who were once my best friends, they don't talk to me any more, and in just the past few days my entire outlook on what I want has changed. I want people to quit leaving... If it weren't for someone who now hates me, I would never have even attempted drawing. I don't understand what happens to people, why they so suddenly change or lose contact. I haven't let anyone close to me in years, and it won't be easy letting you guys close, as kind and helpful as you all are. I don't tell anyone anything anymore, and I don't like that position. I've gone years surrounded by people, yet close to so few. I want to talk to more of you more often, but I really don't know if I can.
Don't knock the internet as a place to meet a potential mate. I met Frio on the internet, and I couldn't have been happier.
Mind you, I wasn't actively looking for a mate at the time. I just wanted to meet new friends.
As others have said, I'm here if you need someone to talk to.