If there is anything
any advice or any warnings
any knowledge and any messages
any thing you wish you could give to your 16 year old self
please give it to me.
It will be taken to heart. please post here or PM me.
I know I'm not too much older, But a couple of things other's have told me:
Follow your heart over your mind.
Live for the journey, not the destination.
Don't forget your past, But move on from it.
I don't quite know what you wanted, but I hope everything goes well for you.
Best wishes.
The number one message I find myself telling younger people is to respect the people whose roof you're living under. I tried telling my 18y.o. sisters this and I hear that they've aggravated our parents so much that dad is kicking them out. Living for free can be easily taken for granted until it's taken away from you.
Another piece of advice that my parents taught me which is probably my favorite philosophy that I live by is that nothing is free and all good things are worth working for. I was taught at an early age how working hard always has its rewards and it's enabled me to get far in my early life on my own.
Above all, keep an open mind and don't turn down good opportunities. Be respectful and objective in all debates and arguments.
In my opinion, the fact that you even created this thread shows you as being more mature than most people your age (and even many that are older than you AND me). Kudos to you. =)
Short, simple, not too sweet and you proly heard it before. Don't be a douche and treat others how you want to be treated. Just following those two steps will take you so far!
"You need to get out more, turn off the god-damn tv and go for a fucking walk or something."
That's what I would say. :)
Also, "Do your bloody homework."
Things that looked gigantic and earth-shatteringly difficult ~5 years ago, impossible or embarrassing.. All I see now is a whole bunch of 'why didn't I just -do- x thing instead of obsessing over it?'s.
And with people.. I only graduated a year and a half ago, and I am currently in contact with -one-, maybe two people from high school. I can't believe how much I cared about what everyone that wasn't my friends thought, and how little they mean now. <3
Understand - I mean
really understand - that you don't know everything, and that the things older people tell you often come from a position of greater experience. It's a lot easier to see this in hindsight, unfortunately.
Furthermore, take the opportunity to absorb that kind of advice and experience (you're obviously off to a good start on that) while you can. For example, I always wished I'd spent more time helping my mom cook, because nowadays I do most of our cooking and while I do a pretty good job, I think, there are places where I say, 'Damn, I really wish I'd let mom teach me how to do this'. I mean, she's still alive and well, but they live an hour out into the Valley and spend half the year in Mexico, so it's a lot harder now than it was to benefit from her advice on that front. My dad also did a lot of maintenance on my car (he was a mechanic for 40 years or so) and I ended up wishing I'd spent more time paying attention.
Appreciate your parents as people, not just as "mom" and "dad" and as dispensers of food, shelter, clothing, money, love, etc. Understand that they've probably gone through a lot of the same experiences, feelings, and such that you have. Seeing your parents as people rather than solely as "mom" and "dad" is harder than it sounds.
: Luna December 24, 2010, 04:53:51 -07:00
Things that looked gigantic and earth-shatteringly difficult ~5 years ago, impossible or embarrassing.. All I see now is a whole bunch of 'why didn't I just -do- x thing instead of obsessing over it?'s.
And with people.. I only graduated a year and a half ago, and I am currently in contact with -one-, maybe two people from high school. I can't believe how much I cared about what everyone that wasn't my friends thought, and how little they mean now. <3
Yep. Realize (and this is good advice for everyone, not just young people) that the things you're losing sleep over today may not even matter to you in 20, 10, 5, or even 2 years. That's not to say you should just blow things off, but try not to get so buried in some particular problem that you lose perspective. I still struggle with that one myself.
And yeah, I keep up with exactly one (1) person from high school, and not very often at that. I have a few others on Facebook, but I can't say I ever really talk to them much.
: Silvermink December 24, 2010, 10:52:14 -07:00
Understand - I mean really understand - that you don't know everything, and that the things older people tell you often come from a position of greater experience. It's a lot easier to see this in hindsight, unfortunately.
I despise how true this fact is. I'm only 22, and I can look back even four years and think to myself, "Wow. I was a real dumb fucking kid back then."
I'm still dumb though, so really... what's changed? XP
: Naetholix December 24, 2010, 11:01:56 -07:00
: Silvermink December 24, 2010, 10:52:14 -07:00
Understand - I mean really understand - that you don't know everything, and that the things older people tell you often come from a position of greater experience. It's a lot easier to see this in hindsight, unfortunately.
I despise how true this fact is. I'm only 22, and I can look back even four years and think to myself, "Wow. I was a real dumb fucking kid back then."
I'm still dumb though, so really... what's changed? XP
Yeah, I think part of it is the difference between intelligence and wisdom, if I can make reference to D&D stats. ;)
i would probably say...
do what you know is right, and stand up for what you know is right.
there are good people out there, and there are bad ones too...always make sure you know which type you are dealing with.
value the people who care about you...people are never perfect, but if they really care then you need them in your life.
don't dwell on the past too much...your experiences teach you, so take what good you can and focus on moving on...
there is a lot of good in the world, and beauty...look for it. sometimes it's hard to see...
i know i've repeated some things others have said...and there's always more...but i hope it helps a little...
I'm probably not the right person to be giving advice, but I think I know a thing or two.
Learn to cook before you leave home. Even just a little bit. This can't be stressed enough. Nothing will be worse on your body than living on sidekicks and KD. Even something as simple as learning to make good veggie stirfries or casseroles will be a lifesaver.
Everyone seems to say "be nice to everyone, treat everyone how you want to be treated". It's good advice, but if you really want to get anywhere, it's more often true that you have to be ruthlessly ambitious, and prepared to think only of yourself and what's best in your interests (I'm saying this in a professional sense, not in a relationship sense, of course. Always be nice to your friends). Obviously this has a lot to do with what you want to accomplish professionally, and what field you want to get in. But if it's something high-stakes and high-paying, be prepared to step on people to advance. :3
Otherwise... I dunno, screen your roommates before you move in somewhere so you don't end up with someone who has sex in your bed when you're out of town.
: PurpleVeggie December 23, 2010, 11:27:25 -07:00
If there is anything
any advice or any warnings
any knowledge and any messages
any thing you wish you could give to your 16 year old self
please give it to me.
It will be taken to heart. please post here or PM me.
Don't give up any of your dreams or alter them for someone else in your life. No matter how much you love them.
If they love you back and the love is true, they will become part of your dreams... not put them on hold.
Love can be fleeting. You might only get one shot at your dreams.
I was even more stupid when I was sixteen than when I am now, so this list is non-exhaustive. Also, if you're gay, or bi, do the obvious gender switches.
- Ask her out. Go for it. Even if she says no, you'll be no worse off.
- No one cares what you think of anything, best to keep your mouth shut.
- No one is having sex in high school, so you don't have to feel left out.
- Don't go to university or college unless you want to. It's a waste of time, money, and effort.
- The friends you have now, even the stupid ones who you leave to go on to greener pastures, will show up, within the next hour if you ask them, to exact bloody vengeance on anyone, no questions asked, but only if you keep in touch.
- Being a furry is the last thing you'll have to worry about when it comes to fetishes and/or fixations. You'll see, meet, and hear about a lot worse.
- Study your ass off. Never burn any bridges because you didn't put in the effort.
- Learn to read, learn to write. Good writing will serve you for the rest of your natural life.
- By the time you graduate high school, learn to cook one simple thing, really well, so you can do it by memory without measuring cups or spoons, with a moments notice.
- Learn how to deal with money, both having it, and not.
- Make sure you want that specific girl, not just a girlfriend.
- If you are a furvert, tell your partner. It's more important than you think.
- Your parents, unless they are addicts or they beat you, love you in their own fucked up little way. You'll realize this when you're in your late 20's.
- No one needs to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or businessman. Carpenters, electricians, plumbers and bus drivers make more than them on a regular basis.
- Read every damn contract you sign ever, for the rest of your life. Never ever be surprised by something you agreed to.
- People, in general, are good, trusting, non-judgmental, and like other people. There is no need to be afraid of anyone before you speak to them.
- Look 'em in the eye.
- Never be a different person in public than you are in private. I guarantee almost every person you see on the street will forget your face by the end of the day.
- For all things good and holy DO NOT tell your parents you are furry. They have a right not to know this. (Unless you want to ruin their lives or not have them speak to you again, then go for it.)
: terutt January 05, 2011, 06:54:52 -07:00
- For all things good and holy DO NOT tell your parents you are furry. They have a right not to know this. (Unless you want to ruin their lives or not have them speak to you again, then go for it.)
I had a similar thing happen to me when I was fifteen. :(
Mine eventually forgot about and forgave me for it though.
: Renwaldo January 05, 2011, 06:57:46 -07:00
: terutt January 05, 2011, 06:54:52 -07:00
- For all things good and holy DO NOT tell your parents you are furry. They have a right not to know this. (Unless you want to ruin their lives or not have them speak to you again, then go for it.)
I had a similar thing happen to me when I was fifteen. :(
Mine eventually forgot about and forgave me for it though.
How much I love hiding that fact that I am a furry with my family and parents. Its right under their noses and they can't catch the hint. My mom even mentioned furries to me at a time. Its like a game where hiding every ounce of evidence becomes crucial. Than again, I am very open about who I am.
As for advice, since I am still in the teenage years, I say to enjoy your hobbies. Everyday I pray for free time from school so I can get that extra bit of rest and comfort so I can do what I love. :)[/list]
: Roffo January 05, 2011, 11:11:13 -07:00
How much I love hiding that fact that I am a furry with my family and parents. Its right under their noses and they can't catch the hint. My mom even mentioned furries to me at a time. Its like a game where hiding every ounce of evidence becomes crucial. Than again, I am very open about who I am.
I'm probably talking out of my ass, but it sounds like they know, stumbled on it by accident, but they respect your privacy enough not to breech the subject.
Unless your mom said it in reference to a newspaper article or something.
: terutt January 05, 2011, 11:43:23 -07:00
I'm probably talking out of my ass, but it sounds like they know, stumbled on it by accident, but they respect your privacy enough not to breech the subject.
Unless your mom said it in reference to a newspaper article or something.
Yeah, given the statement Roffo made to go off of, that's a pretty good assertion. *Giggles*
there is no such thing as a left handed wrench!
if anyone asks you to get a (sky hook) dont bother is a helicopter seriously they are messing with you.
ummm live life to the fullest dont smoke, you will have more fun at parties if you dont drink.
Do sports lol yunno the basic stuff. Dont try to do something you dont know just ask for help when you need it.
join a self defense class
that is my info not much sorry :-[
Life is subjective - don't trust everything you hear or read, and certainly don't trust every piece of advice you're given without a little skepticism.
Drama will exist everywhere you go, no matter what you do, not just in this fandom - take a step back, try not to propagate it and let it be unless absolutely necessary
: Rue January 05, 2011, 12:42:02 -07:00Learn to cook before you leave home. Even just a little bit. This can't be stressed enough. Nothing will be worse on your body than living on sidekicks and KD. Even something as simple as learning to make good veggie stirfries or casseroles will be a lifesaver.
^ This! This, this, this. One of the best strategies I've found is to seek out recipes which are quick and easy but still healthy - it helps you eliminate your own excuses for not cooking and not eating well.
: terutt January 05, 2011, 06:54:52 -07:00- Don't go to university or college unless you want to. It's a waste of time, money, and effort.
My experience on this one is quite the opposite. Going to university - and, moreover, finishing it - was probably one of the best things I ever did and gave me a really solid grounding in my field (computing science). I learned to program, which is something which is infinitely adaptable and I think is a lot better than just learning a programming language.
I think if you're trying to learn something on your own it's good to seek out opportunities to test that knowledge. It's hard to make something stick unless you can make those connections.
: terutt January 05, 2011, 06:54:52 -07:00
- For all things good and holy DO NOT tell your parents you are furry. They have a right not to know this. (Unless you want to ruin their lives or not have them speak to you again, then go for it.)
Depends on your parents. Mine decided it was kind of cute and then went about their business, and my partner's did much the same after learning she was a furry. I regret neither having told them that nor having come out to them as bi, because I really don't like having to try to hide things; cognitive dissonance is a painful experience.
Maybe it's a generational thing, I dunno.
Eugh lol
my mom used to be hooked on CSI, and told me about that infamous furry episode a few years ago.
I laughed for a while and realized that it was probably one thing she wouldn't accept if i told her :c
"Life isn't about avoiding the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
This applies to my entire life, xD
Dear younger version of Brittany Shadowwolf,
Life goes on. Stop holding grudges, it wont help.
LEARN TO FIGHT, so that you can protect yourself when you are beaten up multiple times in the future.
Stop putting on so much emo eye liner. Learn to eat your veggies. Try Going out in the sunlight for once?
Try taking down your walls once in a while? Take better care of yourself. Learn to be a troll.
Destroy everyone who ever got in your way. ;3
Never lose your Ballsy attitude.
Love yours truly
~~Future Brittany Shadowwolf
Most of my more solid beliefs and wisdoms I absorbed from a song. I will now list them here, for your convenience, :D
-Don't go to bed angry. You don't sleep well, and a lot of the time you won't remember being angry in the morning anyway. just very tired.
-A big thing with my parents is "you choose to be grumpy" and I've heard this echoed everywhere. Personally, I don't believe this. I believe that for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction. So if you spend the day with people telling you you're an idiot who doesn't know what you're doing, it's going to get to you. Same goes for other people. Not so much treat others how you want them to treat you, as it is be considerate of other people's emotions. You never know when something you say is going to push some one over the edge, or completely make their day. sixbillionsecrets and givesmehope are both wonderful examples of this sort of thing. ESPECIALLY for teenagers.
-Nobody's perfect, not even your parents. Especially not your parents. :p But they did the best they could with what they knew, and what they had. If you can understand and respect that, it'll make it MUCH easier on yourself. Especially if dealing with step-parent situations, so I've found.
-Don't get caught up so much in how you look, as how you feel. If you're healthy, then fine. Some one loves you the way you are anyway, so don't screw it up, or they might not recognize you when they see you.
-You don't need a mate to justify yourself. I still struggle with this one in some ways. Life isn't about who you're with; it's about who you are. So be the person you like spending time with.
-Karma bites. Hard.
-You will experience heartache, and heartbreak. But how can you appreciate how wonderful love is, if you've never been hurt before? You gotta know pain to feel pleasure, so take it all with a grain of salt.
You know what, just go listen to the song, lol. Affirmation, by savage garden, XD love it. Awesome song. and it helps center me when I'm feeling angry/anxious/depressed in general. :p
If there was one thing I could tell my sixteen year old self it would probably be "get involved with this forum earlier."
Secondarily to that I feel I must protest on the side of telling your parents that you're a furry. I told mine at about sixteen and a half and they were completely alright with it. But then my parents always knew I was a little 'different.' :-3 <-Like that
There is a lot of good advice in this thread and some I would take with more then a grain of salt. Silver was right when he said in effect that hindsight is 20/20, I understand now a lot of the things my parents told me, the ones I told them to cram sideways. I think one of the best things I could say is be yourself, don't give up on your goals and dreams for loved ones even though it means extra hardship at the time, you will wind up feeling it later. I will not use the word regret, instead look at it as a life experience. If you make a mistake admit it and if you can't make up for it move on.
Don't grab 40 pounder of CC, a bag of thai-stick and a barrel of chicken for your weekend entertainment. If you do drink and take someone home or visa versa, make sure you don't do something and wake up say oh my god! I know your only 16, but I was at one time also :P
Go for your goals, but don't trample others to get there, earn it on your own merit, not underhandedly. Try to trust others, but do so with caution, don't follow with just your heart, head or intuition, but with all three. You will always screw up more then once on more then one thing, don't let it crush you, but use it as a leaning experience, it is called wisdom.
And always remember this "Life throws curve balls, some will knock you down and out, pick your self up, brush off and be ready for the next one, because it might be that game winning home run." If you have any questions about what I said or just need to or want to talk send me a PM.
Coal
(silver muzzle)
never care what people think about you, as long as you like you, you're awesome.