so recently my mate's mother went crazy and told my mate that I was out to destroy his whole family. That I have mind control over him and are ruining his entire life.
I have never even had a harsh word between her and I. I knew she didn't like me because she told him in front of me that he should be seeing one of our friend's instead but I didn't confront her.
Luckily for my relationship, my mate didn't believe a word of it. But he didn't tell her off either.
I now know I am never aloud in her home
which doesn't bother me really since I don't want to spend time with someone who would accused me of such crap.
But to say the least.. this is not the first time I've dealt with a mom who didn't like me... but this is the strangest of them all.
mostly because.. her words... are lines from a soap show called "the young and the restless" I know this cuz I watch it and so does she.
so my question is... how should I deal with this crazy lady ? and what are some things you guys have gone through with mate's parents ?
It doesn't sound like you can 'deal' with her based on what you've written, I believe the most you can hope for is to 'endure' her.
Have you ever tried asking your mate - or even the mother directly - what it is about you she can't tolerate? Maybe that's something minor you'd be able to deal with. It could be something as simple your idea versus hers of good manners, that seems to be a common issue in these kinds of relationship problems.
My own father has always been at odds with my mother's side of the family because her parents have always been a bit. . . cruder in the way they conducted themselves than the upbringing he knew with his parents.
If it doesn't kill, you could try and be a bit of what she wants in you for her child, just to get through the few family gatherings you'll have to share with her for as long as you and your mate are together. Wear things she would find appropriate, in conversation don't speak on things that might offend her, etc.
I know that sounds unfair and dishonest, but if she is an unreasonable person, you can't expect to reason with her.
This woman is your husband's/wife's mother. I don't know how close they are, but in all likely hood she will always be a part of your mate's life on some level.
: velvetkytten October 23, 2010, 03:19:32 -06:00
so recently my mate's mother went crazy and told my mate that I was out to destroy his whole family. That I have mind control over him and are ruining his entire life.
So long as you have your mate, that's what counts. :) I don't think he was too enthused over that rant. There's probably not much you, or he can do about her and what happened. :(