hi there every one. The question here today is how do you deal with breaking up with someone. I just broke up with the love of my life. Even though we both left on good terms it still hurts a lot. I am not asking how to get over this person. Im just wondering whats a good healthy way to deal with this pain?
Easy. Don't do it in the first place.
ouch way to kick a man while hes down. I cant change the past. I just need help dealing with it.
Everyone deal with it in different ways. My best suggestion is surround yourself with good friends and go have some fun.
These things are never easy even if on mutual terms.
good luck
I've never been in a relationship... so I can't help. ^_^;;
Dont do it in anything but reality.
dont get someone else to do it.
don't LET someone else do it, thats what i did wrong with my last girlfriend.
ya thats what im doin now just hanging with friends. would anyone be interested in getting coffee down town tonight?
Cry, then move on =/.
Keep your mind busy, and like time heal the wounds.
I'm always looking for someone to hang out with around downtown :x
I'm not kicking anyone.
I just have a very low expectation of the way the world works.
I also don't handle harsh emotions very well, so I naturally develop morals and rules to make things more smooth for the next time I encounter the same situation.
My parents were together right until the end. They were married, never divorced, stable, happy, and then they both got sick and died while I was a teenager.
Since then, all of the rest of my family has been in multiple relationships, marriages, has kids with different parents, and all kinds of bullshit that are very against the morals I grew up with. This caused me to be very cautious about what I do as far as relationships are concerned.
I was born and raised Roman Catholic. Marriage is a sacrament. The more sacraments you can achieve and keep, the better off your rank is when your life is done; the less chance you have to spend time in purgatory, and the less chance you have to go to hell.
Nowadays, since I see how the religious world works, I have blacklisted marriage out of my life. I have also blacklisted relationships out of my life because I absolutely hate the way human nature is. Once you are committed, you are manipulated, and I simply won't have that.
I like the friends with benefits style. Your friend isn't a true friend if they get jealous. You're not stuck with the same person. You're not stuck with one person. You're not burning non-existent sacraments that I just can't get out of my head because it was taught to me at such a young age.
And don't date your friends. Or at least don't label it a date, because then it becomes a stepping stone for relationships. :P
Don't set yourself up for failure. Do your research, and be responsible for yourself. You are number one in your own world, keep it that way. The moment you put yourself at number two or higher, you will be miserable, guarenteed.
thanks i never looked at it that way before. but i would never be able to do it that way. My mates happyness will always be before my own. my mate was #1 in my world and i was happy. and if ever givin the chance to get my mate back i would take it. I love my mate. and you know what? whats life without risking a little bit to be happy.
Life's a gamble, Just gotta know when to hold out.
true true. but none the less i was happy.
I'm sorry you 2 had to go your separate ways *Hugs* Call me, text me, or talk to me on MSN if you need someone to talk to <3 (Since we went to art class together in high school lol)
I worked out when I broke up with my last gf. It was a good stress release and actually have been keeping it up since then.
Take it from one of your best buds hang out with your closest male friends and just have a cold one (a beer) and just think of the positives.
: mediar October 10, 2010, 12:42:39 -06:00
Keep your mind busy, and like time heal the wounds.
some wounds can never heal
actually. mine did. the way i did it is lots of booze!!! XD im not proud of it but it helped me. :-3 i was pretty depressed almost killed my self at one point. also got the papers for joining the army. was thinking why kill my self when i could go to another country and just get shot. if i survived then if i ever got out i would have made enough money to be happy somewhere else in the world. anyway long story short. im fine now. i thank every one for the helpful advise. *bows* relationships are between the hearts. sometimes they work sometimes they dont. just gota move forward.
: Van_Fox December 03, 2010, 05:07:53 -07:00
: mediar October 10, 2010, 12:42:39 -06:00
Keep your mind busy, and like time heal the wounds.
some wounds can never heal
I think time will heal all wounds, you just become smarter and will not go down that same path again. Life is all one big lesson, just keep learning and surviving.
All wounds heal, unless it's a severed part.
And don't say your heart's severed, because it's not.
Good to hear that you're feeling better. It's never easy breaking up, but at least it was on good terms. For everyone else, when it ends you should take time out and do things that you enjoy, hang out with your friends, do what makes you happy so that you can move on. Don't chase them, don't call them and don't throw yourself at them and beg to be taken back. All that will only make them distance themselves from you further and give them impression that you're a psycho.
Don't turn to the bottle or tell yourself that you can't live without them, it won't help you in the slightest. You can indeed live without them and no-one on this earth regardless of how much in love you were is worth throwing your life away over. If you ended up putting a love interest in the centre of your world and on a pedestal. You should see about taking them down from there and make a note to put yourself as #1 from there on out since everyone seems to do this. Never neglect yourself in a relationship. Never! Your happiness and well-being are just as important if not more so than your lover's. Have some self-respect for god sakes.
Normally people use the "let's be friends" card. Not saying you can't be friends with someone you once shared a relationship with, but you shouldn't accept it right after a breakup. Don't be friends with an ex just so you can keep them around and know what they're getting up to. It will stop you from getting on with your life and will only bring you grief. Let them go and give it time until you have moved on and are in a better place emotionally, then you can pursue being friends with them.
And all wounds heal. If you continue to brood on them, then no they won't, because they will never get a chance to. Move on and stop dwelling on what if, should of, could of and would of. You'll just drive yourself crazy.
: Dallas December 14, 2010, 12:20:57 -07:00
Irish accent sounds
Lots of good advice in here!
Just over a year ago, I broke up with the person I thought I was going to grow old with. We had been together for seven years and I loved her more than I can love anything. She decided she didn't love me anymore and chose to lead me on, telling me that she wanted to come back to me but at the same time ignored my pleas for help and slept around. I wanted to kill her. I am ever so glad I got away from that.
The way that I eventually dealt with it was first convincing myself that she wasn't the be-all end-all. I had to remember to look out for #1.
Secondly, I had to stop dwelling on all the reasons why it happened. It happened. That's it. There is no REWIND button; no CTRL-Z. I am where I am and I have to deal with the situation with which I am presented. As much as I hated her (and still do), it wasn't worth my time to sit and stew in the emotions that surrounded the break-up.
Aside from that, I spent a lot of time alone in my own house. I disassociated myself with all present happenings in her life and I think I'm better-off that way. I didn't want to know what she was up to at that moment. The possibility of my thoughts wandering to "What would it be like if I was still with her?" was too great if I knew what she was doing with her life. The fact that she moved from boyfriend to boyfriend and never has once been alone since I started dating her is even more disturbing to me, and it's better that I remain incurious because of that. I have no qualms about the past; I can always remember the good times and discuss it without that heart-wrenching feeling. It is all in the past and it will stay there.
I turned my attention to the new doors that I was presented with. I was single. I had new opportunities and paths to take. I decided to make the best of it in my own way.
I believe the most important fact to consider that will aide you to recovery is realizing that it's done. Nothing will reverse the events that have occurred. You need to buckle-down and deal with that fact and realize there is nowhere to go but forward.
I know how much it hurts... nobody should ever deserve to endure that kind of pain, but it does happen. I can only wish for you to have a smooth healing process and that you will emerge stronger than before. I know I did, and I wouldn't ever want to reverse that.
<3