For a lot of you this is going to be your first con. And you're going to be wanting to go damn hard, right? Well fucking give this a good read and you will have a god damned good convention.
1) Holy shit. You suck at drinking. You might think you're okay at it, but you aren't. And you are going to be surrounded by seasoned party veterans. Don't try and keep up with the vets. Your tolerances aren't at our level. Drink to your own comfort level. If you feel yourself being too drunk, fucking STOP DRINKING and get some water in you. Don't let a story get around about you puking and passing out somewhere. If you are massively hung over, you will be missing a LOT of stuff the next day. Drink LOTS of water before bed. Chug that shit.
2) God damn, don't you think you're a sexy mother fucker? Well you might damn well be... but not everyone is going to be receptive to your advances. Learn the game and learn how to take NO as an answer. Don't make us uncomfortable bro, we're counting on you. If you decide you want to get down and find a partner, USE PROTECTION. Anyone that's willing to 'yiff' with you right off the bat has likely done the same thing to a tonne of people. Don't give yourself an awkward doctor's visit.
3) Fucking hell, drugs are bad okay? But if you really decide to do them don't be super fucked up in public and try to keep it on a down low. You are creating a very fucking awkward situation for the con staff and if you have a medical emergency you might bring some serious bad press to the con.
4) Bring a pair of swim shorts. There's a heated pool.... Fuck.
5) Sleep management is key to a good con experience. The parties run late and the events run all day. Are you planning to do all the con shit during the day and the dances all night? Fuck son, you better get a nap in the afternoon. Don't pull an all nighter, you will regret it.
6) There's a motherfucking grocery store right near by. There is a full sized fridge in EVERY con room. Do the fucking math. Right off the bat, go to that grocery store and put some food in your fridge. It's hard to pull yourself away from the con to go eat and if you wake up hungover you're be thankful like a motherfucker to have a sandwich in that bitch.
7) Fucker, don't leave your room a huge mess for the housekeepers to clean up. It's rude. Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean you're allowed to be a bitch. And at the end of the con? Leave a TIP on the pillow.
Get some extra fucking towels. Go to the front desk and do it. They give you enough towels for 2 peeps but you fucking furries are stacking 4+ deep. And you know what you do with those fucking towels? You take a motherfucking SHOWER. At LEAST once a day. I personally take like 3 or more because shower beers are fucking rad. Bring some shampoo and soap with you, the hotel will not supply enough.
9) Be fucking nice to the hotel and con staff. They are the reason we even have a convention.
10) Go to my mother fucking set, 11pm-12am on Friday! I'll be getting a hold of the convention registration list and taking down names of whomever doesn't show up to it. Said bitches will be getting stitches.